Orgasming to infidelity fantasies

People are scared of orgasming to infidelity fantasies because they fear that the trust they’ve built with their lover would become fractured by even the mental indulgence of another person. And just as anxiety-provoking to them is the thought of their partner harbouring such infidelity fantasies about others.

Having an infidelity fantasy and acting on it are not at all the same. As adults, our rational mind has learned to control (most of) your impulsive tendencies. The irrational part of your mind, in contrast, fears that you or your partner are still irrational children who will be opening a floodgate of desire you won't be able to control.

For regular healthy couples, infidelity fantasies is never the problem. They are fun and exciting and let you experience mental freedom for bigger orgasms. The people in your infidelity fantasies aren’t important either. It could be your boss, colleague, relative, or the server at McDonalds! It’s irrelevant. It’s what happens in these fantasies which is important to pay attention to. Remind yourself that the person in your fantasy might be exactly the opposite of how you are imagining them to be. They are the perfect version of something you have created in your mind. What they are doing in the fantasy is what is important because you’re making them do things which really turns you on.

Isn’t infidelity fantasy the first step towards an affair? Ask anyone who has been in an illicit affair. Very true! If you are constantly, obsessively and repeatedly fantasising about the same person in different infidelity scenarios then it’s indication of what is developing in your subconscious mind. A fantasy is always in your control. It’s YOUR fantasy. It’s not a dream which enters your brains while you were sleeping. It means you are consciously bringing them into your fantasy, by choice.

An active mind has millions of fantasies. About people, about scenarios, about places, about things. They are a window to what turn you on and should be shared openly between lovers. Without judgement, without questions, without fears and anxiety. Focus on the things the person is doing in the fantasy. Not on the person in the fantasy

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