I need to be a woman

I have been cross-dressing on and off for over fifty plus years. The longest I have gone without dressing a woman has been about two years.
I got married back in the early 1980's thinking I wouldn't do it again that only lasted about one year. She was out for the day and I helped myself to some of her lingerie we were about the same size back then. That just got it started all over again. Every time she would be gone I would dress in her clothes, I even found an old pair of strapped on heels that she didn't wear but I could.
When we would have sex she would always wear pantyhose and tear an opening in them for me to enter. she would also pinch my nipples hard but the only way I could do any good for her was to in my mind that it was me laying there and she was on top drilling it home.
A few years down the road she asked me to buy her some makeup, I didn't think anything about it. we had watch a movie where a man dressed as a woman and she thought it was exciting to have a man willing to do that. Then a few weeks later she wanted to go out and buy her a bra and panties. It was a Saturday so I drove to a neighboring town and brought her a matching set and me a matching set.
When I got back home and gave them to her she asked why there were two of everything, I came clean and told here we could both wear the same thing. Needless to say it didn't go well.
Cut to the chase we got divorced and for the next twenty-five years I continue to buy lingerie, clothes, shoes and makeup. I would dress as a woman every chance I got. I only had magazines to learn about my habit.
I continue to date women not a lot but a few and only told one why I got divorced. The others didn't ask I didn't tell.
I did date a woman for about tens years and would go down on her after shooting some cream into her, and she would pinch my nipples also. She drew the line when I asked her to suck and nibble on my breast. She said it would to much like making love to a woman and she wasn't into that.
So once again I continue to dress as a woman, brought some toys to use and would go out for drives as a woman, once in a while I would stop some where and walk around just to hear my heels, feel the breeze on my nylon covered legs and look at my reflection on the glass.
I feel in my front yard one day and woke up in the ER luckily I was all in drab attire, I had removed the nail polish off my toenails the day before.
My two sister's and one brother-in-law came down as they live around 100 to 125 miles from me. I had to stay the night and couldn't get it out of my mind that I had a room full of woman's lingerie, clothes, shoes, outer wear and makeup at home. they stayed in a motel that night but took me home the next day and made sure I had everything that I needed. Once they left I managed to purge everything so when they came back in two weeks to take me for a checkup they wouldn't find my stash.
I had to have surgery on my shoulder but was also wanting to dress as a woman even tried it a time or two and once again purged.
A year later an old flame came by and wanted to get back together dated a few months and we tied the knot. Year and a half later I filed for divorce, six moths later she agreed to sign the papers.
Now I am slowly rebuilding my wardrobe and have decide I need some friends who understand why I enjoy dressing as a woman and who will allow me to be a woman in their presence.
I would like to find some who would make love to my breast and nipples.
My goal this year probably on Halloween is to go out as a woman to an Adam and Eve store and shop for some new toys. I may go out sooner than Halloween if my feminine side has any say in it. She wants to go shopping for clothes and makeup.

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