9 months out for a very long journey

Hini am Lucy, this is s blog No1
For many years I wore lingerie as part of a way to understand certain events in my life, rationalise my thoughts regarding men, TS and cds, and generally and misleading myself in many unexplained emotions in my life. My wife and I finally seperated properly about 9 months despite MNA years of sexless marriàge. I thought beuty here's my chance to really explore my sexuality and my joy of feminisation. I joined up every site I could possibly find that would allow me an opportunity to behave the way a woman should behave sexually. a real dirty little slut. literally 3 Weekes in I had been on a bit of a bender stood up off my bed, rolled my ankle inwards not the usual outwards. I dislocated my ankle , strapped my fibula and woke up in a hospital bed 3 days later.. it took 2 months before I found myself on the prowl to be the slut my wife never was. Id get drunk and pick up randoms and it did nothing but fuel a plummeting self worth. What was I doing, let alone. It wasn't until I was bullied by the the biggest closet gay meethead I lve ever met and an equally fucked up situation injury inflicted on my did the we web begin to take shape. I was trying to rationalise something that needed accepting, nothing else. It did not come way still, but little by little , I found myself not wanting to feel used and abused. probably like my wife, I wanted to not only feel the harder more passionate element of sex, but to feel an embrace,, eye contact, getting to know someone at least a little instead of just meaningless. I wanted to connection. About. A month ago I got my first pair of heels that I love. I have learnt to at least not fall over again in them. Begin learning the art of makeup. Walked the the city dressed up and even met a couple of just beautiful trans people and cds. In. Astrqnge act 9f fateit turns out my ankle fibula heeled ok but my ankle joined was never even Examined after relocating. So I write you this blog as I lay in my hospital bed, having now had more medical coasts than I can even imagine. Admittedly dosed to the eyeballs with painkillers with this realisation. I love taking on the role of a woman, sexually emotionally ad a little beauty to my outta and inner self. . I love the fact that asva a man I get get to see just how big a pig of a man I had become, I love that as a woman, I get wallow a man to be a pig or not. Don't get me wrong, with a little respect shown from you to me and me to you I can still become a real dirty little bitch. The irony is for the next 3 months I'll be waiting on the sidelines. Hopefully getting to know some beautiful cds, TS and men's Nd woman on here. Peace out and thanks for listening, lucy

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