One experience we'll never forget

Around ten years ago, we arranged and met a couple in a pub near their home.
God knows why we didn't walk away as soon as we met, but we were shy about etiquette.Neither of us had eaten so we assumed we'd eat a pub or restaurant meal and if we all got on, retire to the other couples home for some fun.On arriving in the local pub to our hosts, we were greeted by a couple who looked like they had been plucked out of the seventies.The lady, her hair in a beehive style, wore a pink formal jacket and pink skirt with a white ruffled blouse and shiny patent white stilleto shoes.Her blue mascara and 1" false eyelashes conjured up the makeup I always associated with Agnetha Fältskog, she of ABBA.However, that's where the similarity ended.She looked like she'd come straight from a wedding reception.The man looked totally as if he wasn't right to be with her. His dark, curly unkempt hair and coke bottle glasses were all I could focus upon.I was captured, like a deer in the headlights.Being excessively polite in those days, I didn't know how to make our excuses and leave!So, we suggested dinner at the pub.Much to my dismay, the lady offered to cook me something at there home.Though I tried to decline, it wasn't to be and my wife and I found ourselves following this couple to the exit as the woman asked me what type of food I liked.I said, "Plain and simple will do- something like egg and chips would tide me over?""You won't catch ME cooking you chips!" she replied sternly, " I can't stand the grease, nor the smell!". "Oh- er fine. Wha-whatever?" I answered sheepishly.Before we knew it, we were following them to their home, by this time having almost feeling like we were strangely magnetised to their car.Short there after we arrived, and the man unlocked the door to a two-up two down, modest tarraced home in middle class suburbia.The woman raced up the stairs near the front door telling us she'd, "Slip into something more comfortable". (Pink fluffy negligee immediately sprang to mind for me)The guy sat us down on the black and red velour settee as he removed his pullover, exposing an off white tee shirt with bean juice stain from the neck collar to bellybutton.As he moved closer to the closed kitchen door, my wife looked at me and nodded 'No!!' and I knew somehow we'd have to be strong and decline their advances.Then it hit us, like a smell of dead dogs except worse- much worse.The guy opened the kitchen door and we were greeted by seven cats and their unchanged cat litter as they padded across sticky worktops as their meows, chirrups, hisses, purrs, chatters and growls eminated from the room.Immediately, I rose as did my wife and headed straight for the front door.As we did, the woman walked down the stairs, fluffy pink slippers preceding her entrance to the room.I can't remember if we ran- I think we did?Anyhow- it was really hard to drive when we were both crying with laughter.We wondered to ourselves if we were the closest the couple had ever come to a successful meet?Something good did come out of it...We quickly became assertive enough to say there was no chemistry after that.

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