2:54 pm Monday, 12th March, 2018
This week we are celebrating St Patrick’s Day, and if there's one word that comes to mind when we think about Paddy’s day and that is PARTY!
A sex party is a great opportunity for sexually active and curious adults to explore their kinks in a safe, fun, group environment. But before you head out the door to pop your sex party cherry, here are a few things you need to know.
Do A Bit Of Research
You’ll be spoilt for choice for sex parties these days, and they vary greatly in size, theme, and degrees of sexual play. Decide on what would suit you and research the event online or through people who have previously been.
Check The Rule Book
All legitimate sex parties will come with a set of ‘rules’, which can be found online, through the organiser or word of mouth from the more experienced. If you’ve got a particular kink, make sure it’s welcomed at this event.
Bring A Friend
Or bring two, or ten. It is a party after all. If you don't feel comfortable rolling into the sextravaganza with a minivan's worth of pals, just bring along one other person. Having a friend to talk to can help ease you into this new environment. If you don't have one, make one online to get inside!
Be Well-dressed
It is an unspoken rule that those who want to participate in an orgy must have at least taken a shower and brushed their teeth before trying to hook up with someone. So wash up, and choose clothing that is smart casual, yet easy to remove once the show starts.
Sex Doesn’t Happen Immediately
Don’t expect that once you enter the room, you’ll see people ravaging each other… Unless you arrived really late. People who attend sex parties do a great deal of socializing prior to the main event. So don’t just barge in and whip your clothes off and manhandle the first person you find. Try to relax, grab a drink, and enjoy the company. Participants use this time to size up the others and find a potential partner later during the night.
Be Open-minded
Some parties are more hardcore than others, the kink community draws all kinds. If the night's activities make you feel uncomfortable, or no one floats your boat, you don't have to do anything at all. Some people go to sex parties just to watch and that is totally cool with everyone. However, don't let your inhibitions cause you to judge others or to limit your experience either. Check your reservations where you probably were asked to check your bag, at the door.
Set Boundaries
Perhaps the most important aspect of attending a sex party is being really clear on your boundaries. What do you want to get out of this party? What would make the experience fun and exciting? Whether you’d want to play with couples, singles or which gender?. The specific activities that are on or off the table for you (for example, BDSM play, giving oral, etc.)
Consent!
Just because it is a sex party does NOT mean that everyone is open to everything with every person. You need to absolutely give and receive enthusiastic consent with every person you engage with, as well as establish consent for every new act. You then need to 100% respect a ‘no’ if you receive a ‘no’.
Stay Mostly Sober
Alcohol will probably be available. Alcohol can also make us do things we regret. This can go two ways – you can do something stupid to harm someone else, or you can say ‘yes’ to something that you soberly would have said ‘no’ to. Having a drink to calm your nerves is normal, but don’t get drunk. Make sure your judgment isn’t impaired for the party.
Have A Moment
Check in with yourself, your partner or your friend. You can take breaks from interacting with people. The first party can be pretty intense and there is nothing wrong with taking a moment. If you aren’t enjoying it or if you’ve had enough, then there is no one stopping you from leaving. If your partner is not comfortable, then you can make the decision together to leave.
You Can Make Good Friends
One thing you can guarantee is that people who go to sex parties are open-minded, non-judgmental and pretty up for a good time – and who wouldn’t want friends like that.
Be Safe
If you do decide to join in on the fun, remember to practice safe sex. You can also check with the party organizers about their safety policies beforehand. If it's a good party, they'll likely also provide safe sex supplies. But don’t assume that the host will have the items that you need and enjoy, so make sure you bring your own. It is widely accepted that toys such as dildos, vibrators, butt plugs, and anal beads should be brought by the participants themselves to avoid “cross-pollinating” with other bedmates.
It’s Less Mysterious Than You Think
And far more fun than you’d imagine. And once the party has started and everyone is in the proverbial swing of things, it will just feel like lots of people having an awesome time with no clothes on.
Now you have all the information, what are you waiting for? You know you want to show off your moves ;-)
Are you a sex party veteran? Do you have any tips for anyone wanting to get into the orgy scene? Or are you a newbie wanting to get involved? Let us know in the comments below
