12:30 pm Wednesday, 23rd August, 2017
We all know that old saying, “If at first, you don’t succeed, try try again.” Well, whoever says that clearly hasn’t met any of my exes. Whether you were friends with benefits that didn’t work romantically, had a hot passionate relationship full of wild sex that you haven’t found with anyone else, or just want to stop missing them, there are so many reasons that going back to an old flame can seem like a great idea. But it’s not!
Chances are, you broke up for a valid reason, and even though you miss them, things probably haven’t changed all that much. You don't need to get back with your ex — err, you should not get back with your ex.
To celebrate National Kiss and Makeup Day this Friday we have 5 reasons why you should give getting back with your ex a miss.
You broke up for a reason
You don’t break up for no reason. They cheated, you fell out of love, they weren’t the person you thought they were, they stopped going down on you, they wouldn’t put the toilet seat back down… something had to happen to make you break up. The past is the past, and let’s face it they probably haven't changed.
Sorry to be blunt...but you may just be desperate/lonely
The longer you are single or going through a major sex drought, the better your ex starts to look. You remember the sex to be better than it was, and you remember the problems to be easier to get over than they were. Put that glass of wine down, turn off the dry rom-com and pull yourself together and keep doing your own thing until something fresh comes along.
You are at different stages of the breakup
Chances are one of you is way further in the recovery stage than the other. When you first start out in a relationship, you tend to be on the same page but what has changed since you broke up? Who have you each slept with? What kind of relationships have you both been with since each other? Maybe one of you still sleeps in the other’s t-shirt, while the other has been giving someone else their t-shirt to sleep in.
Your relationship might get too comfortable, too soon
Getting comfortable too soon can bring out the bad habits that drove you insane the first time around far too early, or a number of different things. As you’ve dated your ex before, they might automatically assume that means you can pick up the relationship where you left off. Being too tired for sex, still leaving the toilet seat up and still not going down on you...WHYYY?? Whatever it may be that angered you the first time around could start happening much sooner the second time (or third, fourth, etc.) both of you get back together.
You just keep growing your baggage
The longer you toy with this not so brilliant idea of getting into something you shouldn’t (AGAIN), the more baggage you are acquiring. When you eventually move on, you have to add it to your dating resume. You resume bullet will say “Got back together with an ex. Willingly walked into an additional 3-month emotional roller-coaster because I’m a tit and don’t listen to my friends.” Good luck with that.
Life has no guarantees. And maybe there is a very slim chance at working it through with your ex. But make sure you think about why it ended, and how it ended. Can you come back from that? Will it ever be the same? I’m no Psychic Sally, so I can’t tell you the future. But what I can tell you is that you should move on. Take the words of the great Bob Dylan, "Don't look back."
