1:58 pm Wednesday, 6th July, 2016
Let’s be honest: the best automobiles are the ones that get you from point A to point O. The sexy backseat hookup is one of the best perks to owning a car, everyone remembers the first car they had sex in - and what a mess it was: dirty seats, tight spaces, gear shifters in places gear shifters should never be. If you’ve never indulged in copulating in a car, you really don’t know what you are missing. It’s an exhibitionistic dream with the added thrill of getting caught.
Based on a strenuous obstacle course of car coitus criteria, including the interior space, comfort and design, here is our list of the ten cars the internet say are perfect for automobile-based intercourse. This really is one of the most engine-revving types of intercourse there is so if you’re contemplating trading in your old *ahem* banger check out our list of top outdoor fun cars first.
Ford F-150
If getting all weird in a tight spot is your style, you’ve got to go the classic Ford route. Throw an air mattress in the bed of the truck or a sleeping bag made for two and start, um..testing that suspension? Make sure you bring condoms that are built ‘Ford tough’!
Honda Element
As an alternative to the truck bed, try a vehicle that’s infamous for having seats that fold all the way down. Honestly, what other benefits are there for such acrobatic seating arrangements? Unless you live in your car…which is a huge bummer and chances are you wont be finding anyone to take ‘home’ any time soon!
Mercedes-Benz CLS63 AG Shooting brake
The insane amount of boot space in the Shooting brake is perfect for any number of scenarios, from a surplus of grocery bags to writhing naked bodies. All ‘junk in the trunk’ jokes aside, the backside of this Mercedes makes for a killer pseudo-bed for discreet sex - if you’re into the whole discretion scene. Bonus: 557hp helps you get to a desolate area much faster.
Tucker 48
The wide, luxurious and thoroughly padded additional space in the front seat was originally pitched as a safety feature so people could easily tucks and roll during a collision. The added capacity was more than perfect for some in-car slap and tickle in the driver’s seat.What else would you expect from a designer that also gave us flying saucers?
Rolls-Royce Phantom
The element of luxury is often overlooked during an auto-centric bangorama - that’s more than enough reason to go old school with the Rolls-Royce. Sure, your grandpa might’ve had one (and his grandpa), but you shouldn’t let the old-man smell dissuade you from getting down and dirty.
Jeep Wrangler
Jeeps are vehicles per excellence for the couple who will move mountains to make their volcanoes explode with molten passion. They’re rugged and customisable, sure, but it’s on this list of the stain-proof rubber floors and a set of doors you can legally remove — which totally ups your horizontal game.
Toyota Prius
Finally, a way to drive a Prius that doesn’t put you on the same level as fashion-challenged chaps who wear socks with sandals, (each to their own, you may very well be fond of the look). The Prius makes the cut for it’s unique ability to creep through neighbourhoods without sound or suspicion, making it the perfect post-coital getaway vehicle. Nobody suspects the Toyota Prius. Perfect for the dogger who love stealth mode!
2015 FIAT 500c
Maybe you’re fucking in cars for convenience, maybe you’re doing it for the exhilaration of possibly getting caught in a public place. If either instance is the case, the 500c convertible is an exhibitionist’s dream ride. Just see how wide that top opens up! Even a space-walking astronaut could spot the depravity going on in this Italian devil. Now that’s doing exhibition correctly!
Airstream Interstate Grand Tour
Airstream owners are lucky, every single time they have sex.. it’s done on wheels. The Grand Tour gives you a fold-out sleeper sofa, shower, tv, and microwave in a small(ish) vehicle, meaning you can bone all over this thing and then watch ‘Game of Thrones’ afterwards.
RinSpeed XchangE
For the hardcore, perverse, thrill-seeking lawbreakers who want to get their groove on whilst in motion, the clear choice will someday be the Rinspeed XchangE. Whilst still a prototype, this self-driving and highly modified Tesla will allow passengers and drivers alike to do whatever they damn well please as they cruise down the motorway worry-free. You know - read, chat, play games, do hand-stuff, whatever. The future of outdoor fun is coming soon!
