12:11 pm Tuesday, 22nd March, 2016
You may think that sex toys rose to popularity alongside the free-love movement in the ’60s and ’70s, but in actuality these little beauties (or not so little, in some cases) have been used for thousands of years. So get comfortable and take a trip back in time to discover what gave our ancient friends a ‘buzz’ back in the day.
Blow-up Dolls - 1904
When vulcanised rubber was patented in 1904, an alchemist was recorded having a chat with a ‘Dr. P.’ in Paris, who created inflatable dolls for the discerning gentlemen. A few years later, men were marvelling over mass-produced versions that could ‘imitate ejaculation’.
Butt Plugs - 1892
Frank E. Young was a man with a vision - a vision that involved things being inserted up other people’s bottoms. His ‘Rectal Dilator’ was a horrific 4 1/2-inches of agony designed to go where the stars never shone. Marketed as a cure for piles, the devices were peddled to medical professionals. People might well have gone on believing they were medical devices too, were it not for the incredibly suggestive instruction book that came with every purchase.
Vibrator - 1869
George Taylor invented the first steam-powered vibrator for doctors to treat females diagnosed with hysteria. Although this version failed to catch on, the same can’t be said of J. Granville’s 1880 ‘electrochemical’ design. Housewives went absolutely crazy for them. So what happened? Well, society accepted the ‘massager’ so long as they could tell themselves that it was a medical device. When they began appearing in early porn films, the prudes soon put a stop to them. Bah!
Cock Ring - 1200 A.D.
As if you didn’t have enough to worry about, as ancient Chinese nobility you also had to regularly boink your wives, mistresses and concubines in an urgency to produce a male heir. It may sound like fun (and probably was), but in such stressful circumstances, performing can become – well, difficult. Hence the penis ring. Made from the eyelids of a goat, with the eyelashes still intact, it helped the wearer keep going for hours, even if they were crying on the inside.
Ben Wa Balls (love eggs) - 500 A.D.
The origins of Ben Wa Balls are uncertain: all we know is that they appeared in the Orient around A.D. 500 and were used originally to pleasure men. Women soon caught on to the benefits of the device, and the balls’ popularity went colossal. Recorded across most Asian cultures, they were the Rampant Rabbit of their day and still used now.
Dildo - 23,000 B.C.
The dildo may well be humankind's most durable invention. Only fire, weapons, clothing and beads seem to have been around longer. And that’s only taking into account the ones that have been found: the oldest known dildo (an eight inch stone monster discovered in Germany) dates back over 25,000 years.
Pornography - 33,000 B.C.
A few years back, archaeologists uncovered a pretty pervy prehistoric statue. Carved from mammoth tusk, it showed a female torso with…erm… highly exaggerated lady bits. Although its age is uncertain, the best guess places it at over 35,000 years old. Somebody better have a closer squint at some of those cave paintings!
So there you go, our ancestors had their priorities right when it came to inventing hey. ;-)
Do you have a special accessory that you hold dear to your *ahem* heart? Maybe you even have an entire drawer full of secret goodies that can make you wail like a banshee and you want to talk about your love of them?
Have your say in the comments and, who knows, maybe one day the results will inspire tomorrow’s titillating teasers.
