Yup, we made that WTF face too! Just when you think sex toys can’t possibly get more bizarre, something ...ahem...’comes’ along that is so mind-numbingly weird that it’s difficult to get your head round.
That’s right! I am talking about Primal Hardwere’s patented Ovipositor —the gigantic dildo that lays goopy eggs, moulded from gelatin, into the body cavity of your choice. Fans of the Ovipositor say that the sensation of mushy extraterrestrial ovum slopping back out of them is a real treat.
The owner of Primal Hardwere, a man who insisted to only be called by the name Lone Wolf, is a Native American of indeterminate age. He apparently was a builder, a fast-food dude, a fashion model, a church organist, a butcher, and a veterinary student, before coming to the conclusion: I want to make enormous egg-laying alien dicks.
Lone Wolf, when asked about the new strange device, commented:
“The idea is to replicate the act of being impregnated with eggs. Usually from an alien or insect. If you've seen the Aliens movies, you'll get the picture. Many people find this sort of thing very arousing. The toys are simply phallic-shaped hollow tubes that can be used to insert gelatin eggs into oneself. There is a funnel-shaped hole in the bottom to receive the eggs, which are inserted one by one, forcing them up the tube and out the top.”
When asked about the dangers of putting gelatinous eggs up your butt (or cavity of your choice), Lone Wolf said:
“Everything in moderation. We are not doctors, and we're not about to comment on what is safe or unsafe to do to one's body as it varies from person to person. I can say that I have used them many times without hurting myself, but frankly it is up to the person using it to know their own limits. For instance, if you are allergic to gelatin. If made properly, the eggs are firm, but rubbery, similar to the consistency of gummy bears. They dissolve with body heat rather quickly.”
So who are the Ovipositor’s typical customers?
“Well, the real answer here is simply "people." I truly can't say that it's strictly one group or mindset or any other kind of convenient stereotype that like these sorts of things. People get turned on by many things beyond what our respective societies would deem "normal." We are niche in the sense that we're catering to some of the lesser catered-to fetishes. We send our products all over the world to many different races, creeds, and cultures.”
Lone Wolf gave one final sales pitch at the end of the interview:
“There are different perspectives of everything, and Ovipositors are no exception. Many like to envision an alien creature that wants its eggs inside you. It can be a little intimidating or off-putting to those who do not fantasise about being the willing or unwilling host of alien beings inside them. It blurs the line of our own humanity to find sexual pleasure with something that is so far from human, and for some, just talking about it gets them wet.”
So…erm..we’re convinced! Shut up and take our money!
*Image via Primal Hardwere
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