Let's face it: flying sucks. Every year security gets tighter and tighter, which means longer lines, more random searches and now the added inconvenience of having to check bags containing life-threatening substances like toothpaste and lotion. Just when you learn how to pack a weekend’s worth of essentials into a single carry-on bag, they force you to wait at the baggage carousel with the rest of the cattle. But don’t fret—not every luxury has been taken away from you. You may not be able to take your £4 coffee onboard with you, but my oh my, you can still take it from behind in the bathroom. That’s right: flying the friendly skies bareback is still a God-given freedom they can never take away from you.
Some think the infamous mile-high club is an urban myth or an unattainable feat, but I’m here to tell you that not only is it alive and thriving, it’s currently inducting new members—and it’s about time you pledged.
The dip in atmospheric pressure is said to increase orgasmic intensity. The higher you fly, the less oxygen is in the air (you get mild hypoxia), which many believe leads to a better orgasm. Another, very simple explanation, is that the plane’s vibrations heighten arousal.
So, if you’re ready to indulge in the mile-high experience, there are a few things to keep in mind. Believe it or not, there’s actually a set of official rules and regulations for becoming an official member. Here are some basic tips for doing it right:
If you can, fly first class. For one, the seats are larger, and if you decide to make the event more discreet, the bathrooms are also larger, not to mention generally cleaner because fewer people have access to them.
Fly the red eye or overseas flights where a lot of other passengers will be sleeping and the plane is generally kept dark.
Be prepared. Bring a blanket or pillow if you don’t think what the plane provides will be enough.
Wear easily assessable clothing. Women, wear a skirt with no panties and a loose or low-cut shirt he can easily slip his hands into. Men, leave the belt in the suitcase and wear your jeans with the zipper—buttons take too long.
Most important, if you’re planning it, remember that foreplay can start the minute you check in. That means eye contact, flirting and gentle touches to get your partner in the mood. Even the planning can be foreplay.
Feeling shy? To spare the embarrassment for those who aren't quite daring enough to make their way back to the lav on a red-eye or transatlantic flight, mile high operations have been cropping up all over the globe, offering couples the chance to climb aboard a custom-outfitted aircraft for their aerial pleasures.
And remember — first rule of Mile High Club is tell EVERYONE about Mile High Club! Good Luck, and we hope you enjoy your flight!
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