11:50 am Tuesday, 14th July, 2015
The Internet has been a miracle for sex fetishists, not just because of the availability of porn in their specific category, but because of how it has broadened everybody's horizons. No matter how weird your turn-ons are, there is always somebody out there into far weirder stuff. And as we've pointed out before, there are some people who enjoy fetishes so far removed from the concept of sex that they don't bear to be mentioned together in the same sentence. These are fully clothed, non-sexual images and videos that still serve as wank material for vast audiences of otherwise normal people. Here are some examples.
Quicksand
This fetish contains no nudity or sex, and it in fact involves a situation in which sex would be utterly impossible. There are individuals who get aroused at the sight of fully clothed women sinking in quicksand: A cursory search online would reveal tons of sites dedicated to compiling clips from various sources of girls drowning in quicksand, and then there are the niche video sites dedicated to providing original content (there probably is a booming industry in quicksand pit installation these days). On those sites, elaborate storylines are created to justify how these lovely ladies came to be trapped in the unforgiving, bottomless pit of certain-yet-sexy death. So ... maybe the quicksand thing triggers some "damsel in distress" response in the brain's boner cortex? If there's anything lonely Internet tough guys love, it's sitting behind their keyboards visualising all the many ways they would totally jump in and save the unfortunate lady fake- drowning in a boggy marsh. But the fact that they're jerking off to the "trapped and terrified" part, rather than the sexy rescue, really puts a darker spin on the whole thing. We'd prefer not to think any more about it.
Licking Doorknobs
Japan's perversity is one of the longest running jokes on the Internet, but the explanation behind it is fairly straightforward: Japanese porn censorship laws are some of the most draconian out there, and they simply force people to be more creative about what they masturbate to. And, as anybody with a porn addiction can tell you, in order to keep things fresh, you have to get a bit weird. Japan, always on the cutting edge of innovation, simply took this idea and ran with it all the way to Planet Pump. Now, let's be clear: Men (and presumably some women) get turned on by the sight of females licking anything. The curse of being a woman is knowing that you can't eat an ice cream cone or a banana in public without several nearby males achieving a state of semi-arousal. But ... doorknobs? You don't have to be a germaphobe to know that these are the filthiest surfaces in your entire house, the toilet included. Is that the turn-on here?
Human Furniture
This fetish is known as forniphilia, and it involves tying up your significant other and using them as a piece of furniture for hours on end. Pretty straightforward, really. On one hand, we totally get role-playing -- half of the people you know have probably played a nice round of ‘sexy firefighter rescues sexy French maid’ as a prelude to vigorous porking. And lots of people enjoy role play that involves submission or domination. But it seems like the role-playing lacks some of the thrill when one of the partners is playing the role of an inanimate object. But maybe that's part of it -- it's a form of bondage and fetish where people ‘punish’ their mate by making them pose for long periods of time as things like coat racks or even ironing boards.
More unusual fetishes coming soon. Remember, as long as your fetish does not get in the way of your personal relationships and daily life, it’s ok to let that freak flag fly.
