1:31 pm Wednesday, 20th November, 2013
Are you stumped for what to say in bed? Or do you speak before you think? Read this before you end up with a slapped face and empty bed.
Don’t Pick Up The Phone, Full Stop
Picking up the phone whilst supposedly in the throes of passion is bad enough but you could answer your call with something like: “Hi, Oh nothing and you”?
“Are You Gonna Be Much Longer?”
If you come across as bored or in a rush you are going to seriously offend your sex partner. Mentioning a fast approaching football match is not going to do you any favours other than get yourself dumped and lose out on your regular nookie.
Don’t Say Anything Inappropriate, From Either End..
Any mention of bodily functions is dead out of the question. “Sorry if I fart” or “once we’re finished here, I really need to drop one off” are about as alluring as a cold shower on an ice rink. Talk about killing the passion!
“I Could Play Pool with That...........Nose”
Size is such a delicate issue that you need to tread around, especially when you’re between the sheets. Careful, you don’t offend your sexy other by saying something out of term. “It’s ok I can just imagine it’s bigger” or “is it in yet?” will scar a man’s ego for life, as might “I knew you wore a padded bra!” to a woman.
“Zzzzzz”
Be cautious as you also don’t want to insult them on their love making skills. Stating “but you’ve just started!” or “that’s It?” are gonna sting like a biatch if they’re genuinely putting all their effort in and believe that they’re doing alright.
We have an article on what you should say in bed, at all costs don’t say anything in this one or you will yourself in a sexless position!
