1:11 pm Monday, 14th October, 2013
Cringeworthy dating disasters, unfortunately they happen all the time and can inflict any unsuspecting dater. If you’re meeting a potential love partner for the first time, you so want to make a good impression but there’s a myriad of possible scenarios where it can go oh so wrong. So what do you need to watch out for to ensure your date runs smoothly and event free?
Mmn tasty!
One to watch out for is getting bits of food stuck in your teeth and looking like you’re in need of some good dentistry rather than having a head full of pearly whites. Certain foods are more prone to getting caught in the nooks and crannies of your nashers than others, so keep potentially troublesome ingredients in mind whilst ordering your food. You could also keep a small arson of food fighting tools at your side should you wish to freely munch all the clingy herbs and crusty roll your heart desires without having to worry about scarring your date and putting them off garlic bread to the point of needing a therapist.
Pardon Me For Being So Rude
A mega big nono is bodily eruptions, from either end of course! Chances are your date won’t be coming back for seconds should you let a room shaking ripper go mid conversation or try to discreetly dispel a little noxious gas, you’re not fooling anyone, smelt it dealt it! Make sure you gastronomically prepare for your date by not divulging in sulphur infused consumables at least the day before and arrive well equipped with gas-diffusing products to discreetly slip in your mouth and salvage your dignity before it’s publicly expelled.
Fancy Meeting A Place Like You In A Girl Like This..
A cardinal sin of a romantic meeting is that of being under the influence, whilst a couple of alcohol laced beverages is fine, it’s important to know your limit before you start sounding a bit elocution phobic and like a seasoned martini drinker. Make sure you line your stomach by keeping the booze : food numbers at a healthy ratio and not a large vino for every butter smothered new potato on your plate. Also be aware of what you’re saying, Dutch Courage makes most people’s tongue’s a little more active than usual. Loose lips sink ships after all, man your poop deck and don’t sink your dating ship with a bit of alcohol induced verbal diarrhea.
I thought You’d be Taller...
Sometimes, not everyone is truthful with regards to their appearance or personality traits and tells a few porkies to bag a date. So they’ve stated on their profile that they’re a corn-fed adonis or Pamela Anderson’s long lost (better looking) sister, fantastic, go you! You arrive at your agreed meeting place but your shredded love god/goddess is nowhere to be seen, yet the lovechild of Danny DeVito and a mangled potato is standing in the exact spot where your sexy date shall be arriving to at any given minute. Suddenly..the epiphanous bolt of lightning strikes you..what if that IS your date?? Dilemma, what do you do from here? Well, that depends on you. If you’re the patient, sensitive type, you could introduce yourself and go ahead with your meeting as planned, after all you never know you may hit it off! Or, if you do feel that strongly about your date’s white lies and the appearance is that important to you, you could message them with a reasonable excuse as to why you can’t make it. If they’ve already spotted you however, to spare their feelings perhaps you could discreetly request the help of a friend to call you up mid date with an “urgent life or death emergency”. You have a credible reason for leaving early and you’re not offending anyone.
These are only a few of the rainbow of possible dating catastrophes that can befall an innocent dater on the lookout for someone that ticks boxes and floats their boat, watch out it’s not you next!
