1:18 pm Monday, 23rd September, 2013
The term mile high club refers to an exclusive group of people who have enjoyed an illicit romp thousands of ft in the air. This ‘club’ is in the minority due the difficulty involved with getting your rocks off airborne and walking away with it scott free.
It’s easy to understand how a couple could get a bit carried away in the moment sky high, they’re in an environment they may not normally share together, it’s unusual and exciting. The on-board drinks could be flowing and the excitement of leaving for a foreign land rife. The aisle toilet is a couple of rows behind you, it would be so easy to slip away and in, one after the other whilst it’s still vacant. What would happen if you were caught though? Is getting jiggy on your flight a criminal offence?
Uh-oh We’re In Trouble
Yes, it's considered a criminal offence to get frisky airborne in numerous countries and there’s a variation of punishments. There’s been multiple stories of couples being caught red handed indulging in sex on planes, very recently a couple were arrested as they disembarked from the aircraft that had flown them to Las Vegas. Their crime? Performing sex acts on one another whilst mid flight was their felony, for which they are now facing a prison sentence.
High Flyer
Despite the threat of a criminal record, jail sentence and/ or public shaming, there is still people taking the risk who swear by a little bit of sky high fun. If you are intent on
joining the mile-high club then you should remember a few things.
Under Cover
There won’t be any time for revving yourselves up to sex when you reach the confined box of a bathroom so attempt a bit of foreplay beforehand, using thick blankets as a curtain from what you are really doing with your hands underneath.
Nighty Night
At a certain point during the flight, the cabin crew may dim the lights in order for passengers to grab some kip. This will most likely be the opportune moment to seize as most people will be off in the land of nod and wont notice you coincidentally both head toilet direction one after the other.
Tactical Ops
When the first mile higher reaches the toilet cubicle give it at least a minute or so before the second makes their move from their seat. The first club goer should leave the door unlocked as the second knocking to let them in is going to alert anyone within earshot and is more than just suspicious. Fingers crossed in the small period of time between no fellow passengers decide to alleviate their bladder as the toilet will appear as vacant due to being unlocked, this is a risk to consider however.
Pay High, Fly High
If the in-flight lavatory isn’t for you, there is another way of joining the privileged club. There are numerous airline companies who, at a price now provide a service like no other: a small plane, kitted out with a bed and champagne. The aircraft is all yours for an hour where you can get as filthy as you like at the bottom of the stratosphere and don’t have to worry about the seemingly knowing glances as you shamefully hold your eyes to the floor creeping back to your seat. Apart from your discreet pilot of course!
So overall attaining the status as a member of the Mile High Club is a risky endeavor to attempt, but it is possible if you’re cautious and go undetected. To those of you who are already members, congratulations you high flyers.
Picture credit goes to www.freedigitalphoto.net
