My journey began about 5 years ago. I looked in the mirror one day and I had a set of rounded girlie boobs. Definitely not man boobs or for the technical term gynecomastia. For years I had investigated the whole transformation process but I never felt like I would have the courage to do it. I had over the years dressed up as a female and applied make up. I laugh when I remember those futile attempts to make myself look pretty.
Given my body had grown breasts I thought well it has made my choice for me. I had recently separated from my partner so it seemed that the time was right. So I thought to myself if I am going to do this I need to do it right.
I made an appointment to see my doctor. She took me seriously and we formed a sort of a partnership to undertake my transition in a responsible medical way. She prescribed for me female hormones. Later on we added testosterone blockers I can now say I have the same sex hormones as a biological girl.
After being on hormones for 5 years my body shape has inevitably changed. I have put on weight mostly fat. My thighs have grown wider, my butt has grown bigger and of course my breasts have gotten bigger and rounded, my nipples have gotten bigger and wider. I must have spent thousands getting laser hair removal done. It hurts, it hurts a lot , but now I have a smooth hairless feminine body.
For me I have never regretted making the change I am much happier as a woman than I ever was at being male. But this journey I have gone on is not for the faint hearted. Or to be done on whim without giving the process careful thought and consideration. You must be prepared to loose yr friends and your family. In my case this didn’t happen but I know in many cases it does happen. More importantly you can lose your immediate family and that can be very sad.
I have read statements that transwomen are called delusional. Well I have been to shrinks and I am definitely not delusional. There is something in me which makes me want to be female. I hate wearing trousers but I like wearing dresses I don’t know why but I am comfortable in a dress it feels natural to me.
When I first started to dress as a woman to go out in public was a huge thing for me. Even something as simple as grocery shopping was a major challenge. A guy wearing makeup and in a dress took a massive amount of courage to even step out of the car. I was having extreme anxiety, even panic attacks. I felt as though everyone was staring at me all the time .
As the years passed things got easier for me to the point where no anyone sees is a tall confident female going about her business. People don’t stare at me anymore and I don’t suffer from anxiety anymore.
I still face some ongoing challenges, but now I can face them as they come up. Having never been with a man I am still confused about the whole sex thing but Maybe I am bi or atheist bi curious.
And there is the whole sex reassignment surgery thing. Which I badly want bur the whole costs thing is prohibitive at the moment but some options is opening up for me.
You might say I am being selfish.
And most likely I am.
I have always tended to put others first.
Now it’s my time to shine.
Luv Mikaela
