Hi there. So I'm working through something I never thought would happen. I thought I was happily married and thought my partner was "happy enough". I recently found out that not only was he miserable, but living a double life. I've tried to tell him that I am willing to do anything to bring "Laura" out. We just got our makeup done for the first time. I don't know if Laura wants a man, woman, or something in between. I've told my husband, and Laura, that I don't care what he wears, what she looks like, what her voice is, I just want him/her. I would proudly introduce Laura to my family if that's what she wants.
So, long story short, Laura has been trying to break free for many years and I didn't see it. I thought the depression had to do with work. It never occurred to me that as soon as I left on a trip (weekend with friends, home for a week), that that is when Laura came out. Before he left, we had a fabulous night - we both dressed up, had a few drinks, and had public sex. I was totally turned on and felt that by letting Laura free, I was freeing myself but he still left.
And now I'm left holding down the home, the cats, and explaining to friends that he needs to examine his navel in the Himalayas... I don't want to cause issues down the road so of course, "we're OK".
I guess I'm looking for some kind of validation. Do men/women feel so suppressed by their significant others that no matter what they do, once they know, it can't be a wonderful life? I love my husband, and I love Laura. Why can't I make him understand that?
Thanks for letting me rant. Not sure if I'll keep posting but if I can help just one person struggling with this, struggling with keeping a secret because you're not sure if your loved one can handle your secret identity, than maybe it's all worth it. I hope that your loved one is like me - I don't care what you wear, what turns you on, what wants you to come home - just come home.
