In the realm of BDSM exists a discussion concerning when a conquest turns into a stalking? From a legal stand point that is a simply answer, when the man or woman say so! End of that discussion.
From the Dominant/submissive realm it is not as easy in practical terms. The chase or perusal is not easily confined in terms of legal jargon. Often a male will stay back and only present his Dominant characteristics which is more traditional. But with some shy subs that becomes troublesome as they will sit in waiting beyond reasonable expectations and likely never expose themselves to a Dominant they would actually enjoy. Then the Dominant makes a choice to either move on, or push. Each Dominant decides whether the chase will be worth the reward of training a shy sub and moves as aggressively as needed. This can and does come across as uncomfortable for many woman who are new to Domination. I personally move on as I have never seen the point in aggression outside an established relationship without rules, obedience, training etc already in place. There is a place and time for that release and at the front of a relationship seems too obvious for most subs, unless it was for an SM relationship.
From the feminist point of view this discussion is simpler. It is in the woman's choice regardless of the man's whim of pushes. But there is a dynamic in D/s that fights naturally against this since the inception of these interactions. Thus switching became more useful over time and enjoyed by many Dominants, including myself. It is the break we need and enjoy. The changing cultural traits for men and woman have enabled Dominant and submissive partners to enjoy alterations over the progress in culture and media. Conquests moved out of magazines onto the internet easily assisting in the illustrating of what was once hidden in most relationships.
Stalking a submissive rarely produces a good result and attending any local Munch or community based gathering will illustrate this with just one question. Have you ever experienced it? You will get an ear full. Personally I have been stalked by at least a dozen submissive woman and few men over the years. Even had a Dominant or two attack me in public. Some Dominants are just not nice people, sorry but this is very true. This is not a one way street when it comes to aggressive behaviour.
The answer is actually fairly simple, respect and manners. Ask with politeness in your heart and respect in your soul for all humanity. If not what are you actually looking for in another human being? Sexuality is barely 20% of this experience. If you have interest, that is to honestly enjoy D/s as a lifestyle or just fun, then sensuality covers 40% and the rest is sharing of an experiences with someone you care about in your life. If not, question why you want a partner to submit or to be dominant? Then conquest or stalking will never be part of your life discussion with any future or past partners.
Gordon
xo
