My story. A dirty old mans search for a sub

Well, I'm not sure how many folks will even read this, I'm probably just talking to myself but that's nothing new.
So my back story is that I married a lovely woman 25 yrs ago. I hadn't really thought of myself as kinky back then but it seemed my wife wasn't keen on some of my bedroom habits. I liked to be very directive, sometimes a bit rough, and liked to (for instance) hold her wrists above her head. She told me about a nasty experience she had when she was young and some of my behaviour was triggering bad memories. I love her very much (despite being a cheating git!) so I 
modified my behaviour to suit her tastes.
All was well for a while but it soon became apparent that my sex drive was far stronger than hers.
I had a few extra-marital flings spread over several years and a couple of those women wanted to be treated roughly, tied up etc and I found those encounters particularly exciting but they were only ever brief encounters and ultimately unsatisfactory.
Then I met BG. We both started work at the same place on the same day and during the induction day it became apparent we were attracted to each other.
It didn't take long for us to start an affair.
She was married too but in those early days our working hours meant we both had time to spend together while our mutual spouses were still at work.
What started as a vanilla affair soon took a darker tone as my natural Dom side brought out her innate submissiveness.
We established safe words but never needed them as a) I had to be careful not to leave too many marks and b) her limits were/are far harder than mine. 
We had SO much fun. For a few yrs it was fantastic. But she also had a religious side to her which she struggled to reconcile with her darker kinkier side. She was very involved with her church and had every intention then of becoming a vicar. Eventually the guilt became too much after about 5 yrs and she broke it off between us.
I was heart broken but understood.
I tried to find another sub, and although I had a couple of pleasant interludes, struggled to find that connection with anyone.
About 18 months later we "accidentally" bumped into each other in the supermarket (I don't think it was an accident) and she admitted she missed me and would like to meet up again.
We had both changed jobs by now (she had given up on the vicar idea and is now something very senior in social services) and meetings became more difficult to organise and were very often brief but we kept it going for another 8 years or so.
Then about 2 years ago she got caught. Not with me, but with another woman (a surprise to me as well as her husband).
It very nearly ended her marriage and she decided to play the good wife and broke it off between us.
I was a bit skeptical that she would manage it. Her needs were so powerful. And who knows, maybe she couldn't, but if she has fallen back into her old ways, it isn't with me.
I'll be honest, I was sort of waiting for her to come back to me but she hasn't.
So here I am, looking for a new playmate again (but alas, not having much joy so far)

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