The untold truth of mine...

Okay I don't look like a khai khai type horny looks...so ladies got me a cute boy at frist look...  So when i was in uni their  had an affair with a Madam in mid age...  I thought it was love..  So every thing was so deep to scratched but it was just a physical attachment artistically ways...( her logic ) and she was an damn good artist...  But broke me...  It was 2004 to 2008... 
After that i wasn't in any kinda so called affair... Coz i was focused and in love with my works... So in between i had fews girls who were okay only  date or do have orgasm to concentration in career...  But still the madam's memories  made me to searching arround like her...  No one can replace..  Coz as i said she was an artist.. .. 
I got married 2014.. Arranged...  And it was not work out coz we both were too focused on career to make love / good time.. So started from there we end up with mutually separated at 2015 

But to having the Sad sad debdas type drama i professionally met with a 45+ aged woman... Beauty with brain...  And she is made me face the truth...  I am actually looking for the hungry physical memory of that madam...  And she proved.... 
And HaHaHaHa...  Again i am in a artistic crazy love making (without love )...  Soo...soo unnamed feeling.... When she left the country she made me addicted of her / those moments...  So after that lots of Things i tried..  Try to love or hook up and even prostitute... Faild...  So i shared with a phycologists male friend for way out coz i am being stuck in those crazy sensational memory...  And it is too hard to replace or ignore...  And he brings me to his professor  She was a lady...
And after weeks she declared that i don't have any thing to cure...  What is the issue???
  That madam bring me to a level of experience  in physically in a early age and the time was so deep from my side. So the normal same aged or emotional attachement is not that power full...  Fall in or attacked.. Or hooked... And she make a introduce a Mid aged lady who has similar type situations...  And...  So tricky my proffesor was...  We are the ginipig and it works for us...  So My proffessor was successful  to prove me... Some sort of frick... 
I am trying few Meditation which is helping me to control my subcon brain... 
But i am too hungry to control.... It is being too much..  

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