I like to write erotic fiction and jump right to the moment of excitement, but I am not blind to the needs of a good build. Foreplay is a necessity and it is one we should not ignore. However, I think we often misunderstand what foreplay is.
On a movie (which is going to be nameless for copywrite) there is a line that says, "What about a kiss...What's wrong with a kiss?) We want to jump into acts when the subtle cues are all foreplay and how we focus on them greatly changes the dynamic of our sex lives. So discard what you think you know about foreplay and listen close.
Foreplay begins at sight. Maybe not even the first sight but at some point you will lock eyes with someone. In this simple gesture, you are speaking volumes to each other. You are letting them know how attractive they are and your base intentions. One look makes you disinterested while another a creepy pervert, and many shades in between. Guys, if you nod your head while keeping eye contact, you may be letting her know that you feel attracted, but gals when you look, with raised eyebrows and bite on your lip suggestively, most of us are going to be turned on and way up. No touch required. Even if that is all you do, you shared in foreplay.
The nature of the first date is foreplay. A simple rose at a picnic, in a secluded woodland area can let that date know you find them to be special and worthy of planning ahead. Add to that the nature of touching and kissing and you have the concrete foundation for some great romance. Even if you get no further than that, you are building upon foreplay. You are making the moment to come special.
When you finally are both ready, don't go to just getting naked and banging. Removing the clothes is foreplay. Looking at each other naked is foreplay. Kissing caressing is foreplay as is oral and heavy petting (maybe even pinching). Take your time and enjoy each other until you build a rocket that sends you both to orgasmic orbit.
Look, if you like just hook ups, I get it. Sometimes you just need to be lost in the throws with another person. However, if you want more--if you want to make a memory and lasting impression, slow down. Meet their needs and desires and with a little more foreplay, you may even meet new levels of your own desire you didn't even know you had.
