I have not been looking for a Friend With Benefits for very long and I was in no way prepared for the online aspects. The real world equivalent sure wasn't panning out.
I frequent a bar and there are a lot of nice people there. A friend of mine there got into a wonderful polyamourous relationship with a good couple. I will admit a little envy as it has worked out so well for them. However it has been an uphill climb for me. It is hard walking up to a woman and saying, "Hey, you are nice. Want to come back to my place and meet my wife?" No I don't really say that, but you can imagine how that works.
The one thing I like about sites like this, is that you can be totally honest and upfront about what you are looking for. Granted, not everyone is or is what they pretend to be. However, if you tell them you are into chains and pain, they shouldn't expect flowers and candlelight dinners. That is a for example. Please don't look too deep into that. The problem here is that it seems expected to make yourself seem hotter, thinner and better than real sometime, so we don't know what we are getting into until we meet someone.
Even after that there are the other real world aspects. What to tell the friends and family. How to explain wanting to share time and love with someone outside of the marriage. We are not talking about my wife, but everyone else. You still have to take care of family while looking for opportunities to date and meet people. The little things in life can't be ignored.
So we juggle. We juggle super with searching profiles. We put little people to bed while chatting to someone new. We write blog posts of the experience while winding down from the day. Somehow we have to keep all the balls up in the air. Good luck.
