I joined this community in search of like-minded kinksters to play with. When I started to consider meeting with couples, I took the same pursuits to the playroom. It has not been real easy, of course, to wee.d through a whole list of vanillas to look for players interested in pursuing BDSM-themed fantasies.
From time to time, I would get sought out by couples. One look at their profile summaries is often enough to tell me that we aren't kink compatible, so either I end up ignoring the messages or ask them to read my summary. Carefully.
I am usually patient when it comes to explaining to people what it is I look for in my bedroom encounters. On hindsight, my profile should probably come with a checklist as well as glossary for newbies to understand. Some get stuck with the idea that P.AIN is always necessary to enjoy the fun, but it isn't really. H.ardcore isn't really my cup of tea. I am more into the sensual variety, yet even this can be beyond the grasp of those who are curious to explore the intriguing and arousing world of sensual bdsm play.
If you ever asked yourself what it's like, I am sure you turned to references whether it's articles, blogs, books, videos, or films. There are two ways that I found indispensable to increasing your knowledge ---- spending time conversing with people who have some experience and going through the experience experimentally.
Even people who are already in the know can get lost in the semantics, because that's how vastly different the actual practices are. When people ask me what's involved in this sort of play, the discussion gets stuck in being quizzed on the type of activities I engage in. Do I use w.hips and c.hains? Hahaha, no. Could be a possibility, but that's too scripted for me.
The activities can be just about anything as long as it stimulates the senses, but more important, they interest both my potential play partner and myself. So shift the frame of reference, I would ask what it is that the other person enjoys and/or likes to try. This is not easy for any one who lacks imagination or creativity. Can you imagine how much more of a p.ain it is for me when hubby couldn't describe what wifey wants and yet they are interested in having me join them? Asking a kinky player like me to act like a vanilla thirdy is a lot like asking a meat eater to join a vegan dinner.
Let me just put it down to this...kinkless sex won't really do it for me. Often I would ask gentlemen to be b.easts once we start to play. Or when it comes to curious couples, one partner must be willing to be submissive and willing to go through novel experiences. Kissing has to be torrid, touching has to progress from demanding to highly intense, and coupling needs to intensify on multiple levels.
It's not a simple case of hard f.ucking as many people think this is what it's all about. Someone has to be the alpha wolf seeking to conquer his prey (well, I'd have to be the she-Wolf in many cases), setting the pace, giving orders, pushing limits, and ultimately turning up the heat to dizzying heights. All this while enjoying the confidence and trust of the play partner because that is exactly what the other person desires.
