"Love, I have wounds,
Only you can mend,
You can mend.
I guess that's love,
I can't pretend,
I can't pretend."
There are exactly three words in the English dictionary that I absofuckinglutely detest. The first one is "expectations". To me, it comes hand in hand with pressure. When you say you have expectations, it gives off the impression that there are strings attached to whatever it is in discussion. Like okay, let me set your expectations because I want you to know that what I'm capable of, doesn't come for free. Get ready to reciprocate what I'm willing and able to do for you in lieu of. See what I mean? It's so...cutthroat. I suppose I approach life in a different way. If it's work related, expectations are common because you get paid for the things you bring to the corporate table. But it's not an end all, be all kind of thing. I guess my point is, I've learned the hard way that most of the time, I've caused myself unnecessary pain because of one simple thing: I expected too much from people who were not willing to dish out what they take. But I discovered that apart from love, the cure for expectation is acceptance. And that's what gave me inner peace. You just gotta figure out that you don't need to read too much between the lines. Sometimes, you also have to take people by face value. If they show you their real selves, it's up to you to decide if you can tolerate this person or not and go on from there. You're welcome. 😄
"And I wanna fight,
But I can't contend.
I guess that's love,
I can't pretend,
I can't pretend"
The second word is "regret". I can't deny that I have had my share of those. To remind myself that it's moot point to dwell on what I can no longer change, I got myself a tattoo that says "vivere senza rimpianti". Loosely translated from Italian, it just means to live life without regrets. Recently, my life coach brought up the idea that I need to adjust my belief system so I can eliminate the fears that's been holding me back from pursuing my dreams. But it's easier said than done. It may take awhile but one thing's for sure. I'll get there at my own pace, in God's perfect time. And I'll make that comforting thought my beacon of light instead of drowning in the dark sea of what could've beens.
"Oh, feel our bodies grow,
And our souls they blend.
Yeah love I hope you know,
How much my heart depends."
The third and last word is "almost". I specifically chose this song of Tom Odell because of these poignant lines. It's okay to hope. It's easy to get lost in the magic that you both made. Yet it's also unbearable to not make things happen because you only banked on feelings. Miscues happen when we fail to communicate or voice out what we feel. Almosts are the fruits we reap just because we let the nows pass due to our inhibitions. We are scared to be exposed. To be stripped raw down to our last layer. And that's understandable. Sometimes, our past holds us back to the point where we think this is only as far as one can go. But we can do better than that. You see, everyday we wake up with a clean slate. We have a chance to turn our almosts into moments that count. We only have to shed our masks and go on admitting our preferences. Less pretentions, yes honesty. Live your life free and just love. 💕
"I guess that's love
I can't pretend,
I can't pretend."
