Imagine that we did have teeny, wee, toty, folk living inside us trying to control what we do - like in 'The Numbkulls' comic strips. I sometimes wonder...
There's a little girl with an irritatingly shrill voice who is always cheery - she's The Optimist. She's the reason I sign on to personals sites. She's the reason why I keep hoping, against all the evidence to the contrary, that my Prince(ss) Charming is out there looking for me just as hard as I am looking for him. She's the one who, after I've been given the brush-off 7 times in one week, points out that there are still some guys talking through e-mail and IM.
Then there's the teenager dressed in black, with black lipstick, black nail varnish and a black outlook on life - she's The Goth Chick. Her paranoia manifests at this stage as she points out that one of these guys immediately logged off when you sent him a message. And there's the one you haven't heard from all week. And there's the one who's obviously only interested in boosting his porn collection.
In jumps the sensible, rational, mature woman in the twinset and pearls - Americans would call her The Soccer Mom. But she just takes one look at the situation and f*@ks off in her Range Rover.
There are others, and I may even introduce them at some point, but I am going to leave with a 'thought for the day' quoted by The Punk Bitch:-
"If you don't wanna f*@k me, baby; baby, f*@k off!" [Jayne County & The Electric Chairs]
