Bra sizing...What on earth?

Im totally lost.
They tel me to measure under my armpits an nipples to get my bra size. Ok i can do that. Then they tell me to scale the measurement back to the next lowest inch. Oooook?
Itll improve your cleavage they say. But i dont have any damned cleavage! Id love to have but it just aint there. Every woman ive ever known has complined about thier bra being uncomfortable, am i going to start winging as well. Or is that just the price of looking fantastic?
Then they confuse the hell out of you about cup size. Being a "larger lady"i need a big bra right? Dose that mean i have to have a cup size the could be used as a sail in the next America's cup challenge event?
I know i really like a c cup boob but cant i realistically wear that in my plus sized chest?
Im so confused.

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