The longing for intimacy can be filled in ways that sexual intercourse alone can't.
Aside from hunger, there is a need to simply have someone be there for you under certain circumstances, particularly when you come to grips with the pressures that 'adulting' can thrust upon you. That listening ear, the warm embrace, that comforting presence enveloping your body like a warm blanket on a chilly, rainy night.
The need to feel secure, to feel assured and protected...they can overpower the ache to mate. And we ourselves have been there at some point or another. When the happy hormones derived from carnal coupling withdraw, sometimes that numbing feeling of loneliness comes back. Somehow, it's as if we missed a huge spot.
In a real, established relationship (like the one I am in right now), the urge to merge can shift from the physical sense to emotional. Once in a while, it's necessary to take down the kinky playfulness a few notches and settle for light teasing and cuddling. Always the playful one, I find it really challenging when, lately, I am around my man and I could not jump on his bones.
I would have to constantly remind myself that a libido in hibernation does not mean the absence of passion in a relationship. So now, the lustful beast in me needs to cool its heels in a corner, ready to pounce when the next opportunity comes along.
In the meantime, I'll give in and I will keep giving. The nurturing part of me can gain satisfaction feeding the weary soul of the man I desire to devour and be devoured by more than anyone. When it's time to take, then there would be much, much pleasure to be had. However, I've known men well enough to know that this 'downtime' isn't the right time for a woman to be complacent. Time to play the waiting game.
