I can only be as naked as far as my skin allows, as far as kisses and caresses can reach.
The bedroom is the realm of lust, my play ground for my mind and cradle of fantasies.
Outside, where the real world lies, is where I carry out my mundane existence. It's the world I escape from, into the comfort of waiting arms and warm bedsheets. For just a few hours, I indulge the whims of a naughty girl through role-playing and plunging silicone toys.
No deadlines, no chores, no curfews...
But the rules change when once in a while, someone tries to penetrate the walls behind which the true self hides. No, I don't disclose facts about myself, let alone make real friends because they belong to the real world that I am taking a break from.
And yet, someone breaks through, taking no prisoner as even my deepest fear becomes known to him. Can I be his? Can I let him into heart and soul? Can I see ourselves together in the future?
Lust does not mix well with buried emotions, do they? When the body wants to give of itself to please, the heart struggles to remain protected as it has been for so many years.
It's in my distrust of men and their deceptions that has toughened me to take on these trysts for pure physical satisfaction. Yet, here I am being asked to trust, to hope, to feel what it's like to genuinely love. My soul can't be any more naked from the glare of the light of self-honesty.
Someone just pulled the sheet off the mattress. Oh fuck.
|
3:49 am Wednesday, 7th June, 2017
You write so eloquently. It's like I can see, taste and feel every word. Do you write for a living? You should. |
