Giving vanilla flavour....

You had only fleetingly considered it. Never once had you explored the world I Inhabit. You knew you had tastes and desires that were different. More vivid. More visceral than your friends'.  Long late night wine fuelled discussions with your girlfriends had confirmed that. At times you had considered looking. Seeing what was out there in the darker world. But the mundane and the necessary  stifled and restrained action. You were married. Demanding job, family and commitments. Surely a person like you should live your life as was expected. Surely a good fulfilling life followed a well worn path that countless others  had walked before. You knew that to open that lid would be a solitary act. There would be little local support for your quest and besides how could you consider what you did not fully understand yourself? . All that changed when you clicked the button. One singular seemingly innocuous act. A whim. A profile that both confused and excited. It made no sense and yet perfect sense. Phrases and titles that were foreign to you yet you knew were right. It reminded you of your trip to Venice. Unable to speak the language yet you understood the waiter who spoke to you at that fabulous restaurant. His language alien yet the tempo and inflections steered your brain to make the correct assumptions. The pace of his words and his subtle body language guiding you despite a blindness to the content. Something else about the waiter. His directness. His confidence. He had probably wooed thousands of woman before you. Tourists intoxicated with the holiday freedom and sun. And maybe a little wine. But it was inescapable. You wanted to give him something in return for his focus and strength.  You wanted to reward him. To show him that despite your husband only being inches away, you were his In those few moments. And now you recognised those same feelings. A sudden urgency to lay your souls bare to a complete stranger. To ask for explanation because you felt this might well be what your souls  had pursued all these years. Pressing the like button had started a ball rolling that would crush the old you and release a spirit that was far more beautiful, far more dark, far more sexual than you ever imagined possible. You had clicked the button and your world and spun on its axis. You wondered if others had pressed the button? But no matter. It was far too late for doubts. This was your new life. And your body ached for nothing else. 

• Add Comment
• View Blog