Chemistry Vs Desire?

Great blog Free. You are absolutely right in saying that I would chose both as I feel desire is physical and chemistry is a meeting of the minds. If I had to choose, I would pick chemistry as I think, if I went on desire alone, any experience I had would leave me feeling rather empty. You are right, it is hard to explain. Whilst it is fun to indulge your more primitive and passionate urges, I think I would look back more fondly upon the banter with a kindred spirit. Then again it is hard to have chemistry unless you are drawn to someone in the first place...

Thanks for the reply Maria. I have been with heavy heart recently about all this issue. Desire, attraction, lust? vd Chemistry, feelings, getting close? I am really wondering what those people who has had just experiences with the first have felt during and afterwards.

Yes Free, after reading your blog and pondering the questions myself, I am very curious now too. I feel a possible article coming on.... :-)

Hahaha...Open, you always make me smile. Well, I guess what I was trying to say in my OP is that how much chemistry is needed to feel this desire is a big question for me. Chemistry almost seems it involves you really liking the person as a person but also as a sexual being. Would it be better if lust and desire were stronger to have the real NSA experience?

Free. It is always a delight to hear from you. Putting the issue of my credit cards on one side ( although I would happily give them a big hammering if I were entertaining Chrissy or yourself ) .I place great reliance on Chemistry.A relationship is so much more fulfilling and satisfying if the persons are on the same wavelength and if they become soul partners as well, there is nothing better !

Open: I have had great pictures of Fetch's Credit Card hahaha

Fetchy!! I do agree whole heartedly with ur last statement. However, my main issue is that NSA almost seems easier when u do not feel too much chemistry or closeness? I was just wondering if people who experience just lust and desire also feel fulfil in many ways, as we do when finding someone with chemistry.

Speaking as the male half of a couple,I was on the scene many years ago& personally it was a case of lust& desire over personality( how immature now looking back? Now I'm older( never said wiser lol) I speak for both of us,if theres no stimulation upstairs"initially at least",then it dont work for us downstairs. Obviously there's lust& desire,but as some have allready mentioned? If its just meeting with no intimate( not love)then we would be just performing robots,regretting in the morning- I might add,as one non swinger said to me" if a guys not interested in my head& transfixed on my crutch- he's by passed me to get to a destination hell never get to arrive( let alone come!) so get wise guys,heads first,then you may improve your chances of getting "down& dirty" common seence?

Holiday: Thanks for your kind reply and welcome to blogland :)...I love it: " If a guy is not interested in my head & just transfixed on my crutch, he's bypassed by me to get to a destination he'll never get to arrive( let alone come!)"

Open: I am sure Fetch is shining his credit card lol

Brownie: Nicely written. I like what you wrote about insecurities. That point when you feel comfortable to just let go.
I doubt that you will lose any friend and perhaps you will get many fans. ;)

Vic: Welcome back too :) I am glad we share chemistry preferences. lol

I must admit, your blog makes me think. answers to your questions. 1. hard to call here. desire is quite hard to leave. without desire, karma wont act, i believe. but, but, when you re talking about desire vs chemistry, i strongly believe chemistry is quite more important. both together is best combination. without chemistry, it feels like a physical torture to me. so, i will go with chemistry here.

2. yes, i am lucky and i met someone you are talking about, its best part of life and enjoying.

keep writing more! have fun

Welcome to blogland too fun! I am glad you have found what you wanted and I hope your thoughts always guide you to the right direction :)

thank you free,

million dollar question here, do you think without desire, karma makes any sense?

I am sorry to say I do know the concept of karma but I do not believe much about the concept very much or perhaps I have not studied it enough to understand its basis . Therefore, I would not be honest replying the million dollar question. I do apologize. However, it seems to me that if u have someone that you feel happy with then you are already very fortunate. :)

oh no, dont be sorry. i believe this is very good post and along with you, your inputs from your friends are quite impressive. I am enjoying this conversation.

my only concern was, dont you think its quite hard to remove "desire" part totally? its hard but not impossible, i agree. The more I think about you question, it becomes tougher to answer. now, its like chicken or egg situation here.

well, i must read your other posts.

Hi,

As an older make I have probably run the entire gauntlet of reasons to enjoy sex and, as aper a previous comment made, would definitely agree that as I got older even with an NSA arrangement the chemistry is the main part for me, along with, hopefully, the chance of a long term relationship based on both affrication and lust. That need not necessarily prevent anything anyone else so long as it is part of the agreed relationship

Hi may I contribute some more? I know from as a couple,my wife did have enjoyable sex with others( I dont know what others may think about just how maby( mainly allways safely I add)partners especially in are mid29,s throught to peaking around the 45 ish mark,up to the present time- its really narrowed down to a selective liason( abit like a kid iin a swweet ship at the beggining,hence desire as in wow she he looks real sexy equals one thing desire( must have,going to have regardless any connection mentally. I am not pontificating whatever ones age here,but I do feel its a big learning curve,my wife(& I'm sure if more females contribued in a honest way,they mostly admit to going through a similar thought process? No woman wants to be felt used as merly a notch( I'm quite adamant about this regular comment,as unfortunetly us guys do think almost allways throught are appendages & the brains just instigate onething- yep desire v how about being attentive,taking an interest etc in the potential to lead to that desiring being a reality to want to repeat possibly many times,just simply because there has to be some ciivility here( eh guys,dont you get that from your partners at some point?) of course thee are going to be ladies who like the desire,the stats aren't recorded aywhere,they naturally have fantasies( many infact,but some they wouldent dare tell there partners- judgemental is a word often springs to mind( what will others think if your a female? Jack the lads just fulfil not only there lusts,but Moe so ego,s fine,the proverbial statement my wife often felt& used,was" I felt like a price if meat,he was undressing me while being introduced"! Men are men,but common simple "respect" means a woman then feels- desirable flattered,so its a choice between just performing- or doing your damnest,but meaning it simultaneously making her feel "special" FN we've seen couples who stipulate" no kissing" Jesus,where& how the heck does oral overide that basic part of foreplay? Are there any others who know where I'm coming from,cas we sure like to meet them? With sincerity,sex is meant to be enjoyable,I love watching performing myself also,but not if its blatantly clinical,big turn off,not on folks hope this cuts the crap from the nice types we have met? Preach over- is it xxximg src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons029.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons019.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons004.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons008.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons016.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons023.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons009.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif"

I guess we'll lose any contacts before we start,with what we mutually commented? Thank goodness there are some real nice exps we've exp within cuckolds and with very nice couples too?:::) no whingeing,just saying it straight ,from the two of us,enjoy x

@holidayfun - your one line is enough - "sex is meant to be enjoyable". Bold and Beautiful.

For me desire is something to be listened to, considered and then ignored...a bit like a party political broadcast.
Example of this is, i desire a Jag F type but still drive around in me lil Italian non sports model.... reason, Fetch's credit card didn't have a big enough credit limit.

Chemistry can be instant or may take time, but it is important..very, very important.
Without the chemistry, i feel nothing and a relationship with no feeling is pointless..
I would like to think that i have outgrown my former infantile and shallow self that considered a shag a worthy cause.
There is nothing worse in my opinion than the post sex awkward silence followed by a "oh, is that the time...must go my train leaves in fifteen minutes"

Maybe i am looking for something i won't find here which is probably why i made the decision only to stay here for chat and blogs and not for meeting anyone new...note to self; must change my profile.
I am sure there not gonna be many, if any at all that will be devastated at that news...

Paul: Thanks for your reply and welcome to blogland too. I think age definitely gives you the wisdom necessary to understand easily all easily.

Holiday: I think on this site as many now online It is a very tough concept to be understood. The mind of a woman is a complicated one but I do agree with u in many ideas. I cant talk for all women but I think many like to be admired in different ways and definitely be desired . Isn't it strange in a way that even when saying NSA, we still need to feel special?

Welcum: I missed you around and I am totally devastated that you prefer Fetch's credit card. img src="imagesadultemoticons021.gif"

Man does not understand women, agree. Furthermore, woman does not understand women. And woman does not understand herself (in most cases).

Instead of saying woman is confused creature, lets say woman is most colorful and vibrant in so many levels. It is hard for even god to understand her.

Like free said, you only pick one, chemistry or desire. Hard call. However, deep down she knows both are important. Priorities may change time to time.

Plus, consider, man and woman think differently. Their ultimiate desires are completely diffenent to each other. To understand eachother's like and dislike, easily take time. Its like 2 complete different universe are trying to melt down into one.

So all very confusing yet interesting.

May be, this differences make the game interesting and unpredictable.

Hahaha fun, you have made me laugh...Someone yesterday told me that I was a pain in the bum sometimes with my endless stream of thoughts...lol

But as Open says, everything in our minds os so clear...hahaha...Feeling special surely is not much to ask even here right?

guys, don't stop this conversation... come on,

Free,
i have gone off of Fetch's plastic... It wouldn't stretch t a cuppa rosy let alone a new jam jar.

Open,
of course men don't understand women, not even those with divine insight do...here is an example to prove this fact..
This is a true storey, only he facts have been changed to protect the guilty...

A surfer guy was walking along a beach in Cornwall, carrying his board, after a day of catching waves.
As he walked towards the Doom Bar for a pint of the aforementioned, he spotted a bottle bobbing in the surf..
being conscientious guy,he picked the bottle up to dispose of it correctly.
he noticed a cork in the bottle, knowing this isn't a recyclable he pulled out the stopper ....
With a flash, a genie appeared..."i will grant you one wish" says the genie..
the guy thinks for a while... "i have never flown or sailed but i really want to surf in Hawaii..I cannot because i amafraid the plane will crash or the boat will sink... I wish there was a bridge from Cornwall to Hawaii."
"you gotta be kidding" replies the genie "that will use all the worlds metal resources and do you know how hard it is to get foundations and supports in oceans that deep...no, that is impossible, make a different wish"
The guy thinks some more, "i have been married four times now but it never lasts..women are so difficult to understand, why they get upset for no reason, why they cry. It would be great to know what women are thinking and what they mean...I wish i could understand women"
"ok", replies the genie "is that two or four lanes you want on the bridge"

Hi guys i'm new to the lets meet up thing

@britton, welcome. Expert panel is figuring out what is desire, chemistry, physics and maths. everything looks so confusing and clear. and yes, if you re talking about meeting minds, contact free immediately. img src="imagesadultemoticons013.gif"

Welcum, you made me laugh so hard....Yes, I used to think the mind of men was so complex and now I realise that women are the nightmare hahahaha but shhhhhh, dont tell too many :)

Fun, meeting amazing minds that sounds indeed great. Nice thought with my coffee, could I add a great mind with a naughty side? img src="imagesadultemoticons021.gif"

Free, yeah, go ahead ;)

Chrissy ." It's a long way to Tipperary " ?........ Yes, and Hawaii is long way to " Tickle Mary " Or whatever Americans call it ! LOL xxxxx

Hi Thrill, welcome to Blogland too ;)....I think after the kind replies from many people here, I do not feel that I should compromise or change the fact that I do need chemistry to take the next step. I was debating and having a huge dilemma about this, just because it entail many things.

However, I should add different things work for different people. Perhaps, desire and senses sometimes will lead us stray but it should be taken just as part of what you want to experience and even for your learning curve. As long everything is done with both parties consent, then it seems all should all right (well at least in theory right?)

Open: I forgot I like to think that one day all blogland regular will have a little show where all will wear this skirts and just roll our hips to the music. lol

Any chance you write a new blog in near future?? waiting.

Hot: Thanks for your kind reply. I am not sure if it is admirable but I am now more clear it is what I want. However, I should add I do not think people who just meet based on desire should be made felt in any way wrong. I think we all go through periods of discovery and learning. The only way to know what you really need and want is by experience many things. After all, only experiences change perspectives and goals in life.

MrsNew, Welcome to blogland. I am glad to hear you may be able to achieve the nice balance of desire and chemistry. I wish you all the luck and then if you get to meet this person, everything turns out to be the way you hope and desire ;)

I am now thinking about what you have just said. Have I ever just desired someone so much, I overlooked a little chemistry? I have to think this truly. img src="imagesadultemoticons013.gif"

Just like you pointed out, both are necessary. For me, Chemistry + Desire= Turbo Satisfaction for both parties. However, the one factor you really can't take away remains THE DESIRE - the passion, the hunger, the strong urge - these elements are somehow bound to bring about the 'Chemistry' and the drive that takes you to cloud 9.

I've experienced such chemistry with a somewhat stranger before, however, something in her ignited my person - it was sort of a 'strange' mutual feeling that made it happened and afterwards, it was rather difficult to go our separate ways...

Desires is more important for me with NSA sex.
Chemistry is more important for relationships.