fashion faux pas - or - you have got to be kidding me!

Over the years curiosity and girlfriends evil minds have brought me a selection of clothes that incite the words "you have got to be kidding me!" or similar. From the latex mankini - look at me! latex on this? to a C string - where the hell is that meant to go?! Leather - well at least it breathes and stretches and it is quite comfortable next to the skin - careful. Lace? for a bloke ....... okay what's next

I remember when an ex bought me a G-string bathing suit, WHY? I hate to think what I looked like - a gorilla wearing dental floss! that would have been scary to see - but I put them on for her, I can't imagine that a cheese wire applied to the knackers could have been more painful, you have this little bit of fabric that barely covers your cock and a bit of string that goes up between your arse cheeks, - and it works and looks good on a woman, but what are you meant to do with your balls? there is no way they will hide behind that little triangle so is it one either side or to one side or the other of that horrible bit of string, either way you may end up castrated or at least feeling like you have been! Suffice to say it never saw a beach I think I would have been arrested!

I am all for ladies in sexy lingerie and yes I'll give it a go if she - whoever she is - wants me to but I am sorry for most of us men it so wrong on so many levels and in many cases painful!

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