Swingers in IndoPak: Let's start talking

This is my first blog ever. the idea came to my mind when i started reading blogs of other husbands who were into swinging lifestyle. since almost all of those blogs belonged to westerners, so i thought to write one for my region people. the reason i thought it was necessary was because of the cultural boundaries. all blogs written by westerners are great but they don't quite fit into our south Asian culture and we cannot fully understand and/or adopt many of the ideas discussed in those blogs.

oops, let me introduce myself first. well, i am a 33 years old married guy from Pakistan. i belong to the middle class family consisting a beautiful, loving and very romantic wife. she is 30 years of age and we are both professionally qualified which is not a very common combination in Pakistan. In our country mostly the husband is very social, confident and bold, while the wife is usually domestic, less social and always shy in affairs of physical pleasure.

let me come back the topic again. Since me and my wife have had the opportunity to move around the globe and work with people from different cultures and ethnicity, therefore we have a good comparative analysis of those cultures in contrast to our own. I believe that when it comes to the fantasies of a married male, they are more or less the same all over the world. I mean a south Asian guy would probably have the same set of top 6 fantasies like the rest of the males in other parts of the world have. But when it comes to women, i think that is where our cultural impact plays its role. The way our girls are raised before marriage has a much longer impact on their minds even long after marriage. Once married, the husband expects his wife to be like his mother in kitchen, but like a Bollywood super sexy model in his bed.
The girls are home trained before marriage to be excellent cooks and home care takers already. But the transition from a house wife to a sexy dream girl take a very long time spanned over many years. In 50% cases, it almost never happens. Or the husband looses interest before she is even ready to think about it. So this is where the frustration of a sexually active and demanding husband takes over and he start looking around for alternate means of pleasure. Wife on the other hand never realizes what she needs to change in herself and that she needs to stop worrying about her neat clean image being spoiled in eyes of her husband if she acts a little bit slutty in the bed, instead she blames the guy and thus the marriage turns into a never ending pain in the ass experience. West has had similar experiences too, but they figured out some alternates that involved both the husband and wife. It was easy for them because a western lady is not that worried about the consequences of being judged as a sexually adventurous individual. This alternate lifestyle is now known as Swinging.

In our region, this idea is also getting popular rapidly, but unlike west, this may never be called a life style option. Not in next 50 years i guess. and the reason is our cultural complexities. in 90% cases, couples live in a joint family system and therefore cannot even think about getting into this life style. So what they do is, keep it as their secret activity and limit it to a circle of friends who do not have any direct or indirect link with their normal social circles at work and family. So its a hidden taboo kind of thing which is socially not very much acceptable and can even cause serious damage to your family life. In some cases, it can even turn into a brutal disaster.

I had many fantasies involving my wife flirting and romancing with other males. The idea of couple dates was also attractive because there are not much recreation places here like night clubs and exotic beaches. The lack of such sexually charged opportunities had limited us to experiment with our closed bedroom sex life which eventually runs out of options and we get fad up of the monotonous routine. At first i had these fantasies and never shared them with my wife. i thought it would make me look like a sick person in front of her. but soon i realized that if i do not talk to her about it, i will end up frustrating myself to a painful level. So i started talking to her about what people are into these days. It took me a significant amount of time to finally make her comfortable enough to a level that she can now openly talk to me about it and also about her newly developing feelings. the feelings that she has always ignored and snipped Now after 3 years of continuous baby steps towards this life style, we have a small circle of couple friends with whom we enjoy light activities like private dance parties, couple games, show off a little bit of skin and flirt with each other. We are not sure where it will lead us to. But we are damn sure that we wanna continue this life style for a few more years to come. We are also not sure what we want in future. Can sex happen? Will we also become swappers? Will I be a cuckold? Would she be a hotwife? all these questions are still a mystery to us. Right now we just know that we do not want sex. Its because either we are not ready for it or we are afraid of having regrets. What we know for sure is that, once we are back from a couple date, we feel very light weighted and entertained. Collectively our couple dating experience was like a refreshing memory. This is why we wanna keep doing it for the time being.

i know there are many couples like us out there. i want all of you guys to start talking here and start sharing your thoughts.

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