WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ART OF FLIRTING ONLINE?

London, I can definitely do a lot of the work, but flirting is a two way street. There is no point in trying to be subtle when the other person is trying to get my pics in underwear...img src="imagesadultemoticons026.gif"

I'm crap at flirting (at least online). Basically, because we meet on a site like this, we assume the ultimate goal goes without saying :-)
Having made an e-mail introduction, I assume my would-be partner has a like mind, and therefore I don't go straight for the sexual jugular, but prefer to open up a bit about myself, the final aim being to enhance intimacy (which leads to better sex). If any women write to me in the hope of some cheap online titillation, they are generally disappointed. I prefer to give out more personal info about myself and my life, anticipating that this will build up my persona on top of what is already on my profile. Most of any subsequent flirting (if given the opportunity) comes when I meet face to face.
The corollary of this is that I'm not really very receptive to flirting because I tend to have a suspicious mind. (Why would such an attractive woman flirt with the likes of me? What's her game? :-)
I suppose I'm my own worst victim......but there you go...... :-)

Indepth: Thanks for the reply. I am very polite but I just don't bother answering any message like that anymore. :(

Skibbie, I find a little funny you say all this. I always thought u were good at flirting...There is nothing like the way you write to make your fans like u more :P And saying something about you sets up a good way to start communication. img src="imagesadultemoticons001.gif"

Online flirting is the reason I'm here haha! Outside of here there are no signs of whether someone is interested (for me) based on some text on a screen; I'll put the graft in irl but won't be too disrespectful (I hope!) before then

FFP, you're right that there are a lot of messages about getting right down to the nitty gritty. Myself, I prefer to start off with some banter and lots of innuendo before anything else happens. All is not lost however, there are still people out there who feel the same. An example is the reply I got a couple of days ago from someone - "mental stimulation is the the foreplay to the physical". Honestly, couildn't put it better myself!

I do suspect that this site promotes the lack of verbiose foreplay. As I commented on another blog, I've recently come back after a brief absence to find my inbox overflowing with generic messages which are as subtle as a brick through a jeweller's window. So either people on here are now suddenly very lazy or something else has changed.

I think it was Skebbie commenting on another blog about the way his profile seems to be sending auto flirts to women who have no interest in men which got me thinking, what's going on? So I just had a look at my email settings....and found something that wasn't there a few months ago. Like magic, a new setting has appeared which has been ticked to send out an auto message whenever I "like" something! The message is several short lines and is quite frankly, an invitation to skip the foreplay. I have now unticked this so hopefully no one else out there will be getting stupid inane messages from me.

By the way Skebbie, I agree with FFP, you are very good at flirting even if you don't think you are!

From the sound of your blogs FFP, I suspect you don't need any tips on how to flirt online! You do have a wickedly lovely way with words so I don't think you need worry.

Mac: Exactly what I meant. You pretty much said it loud and clear. Flirting for me it is just the beginning of establishing the first lights into a person's mind and interests without going for the jugular (as Skebbie well put it).
img src="imagesadultemoticons022.gif"

Turquiose: Thanks for your kind words (were you flirting?) hahaha Just kidding :P

I love it "Mental stimulation is the the foreplay to the physical"...Gosh, I hope you dont mind if I copy and paste it in CAPITALS in my profile. And you are right, I have found diamonds here. However, I just wish there were far more of those.

Lostmand: You are indeed sweet :) (Was it too much flirting?)

Was I flirting? Ah, perhaps...according to my friends, I flirt without even knowing it! Personally, I just call it being friendly...ah well, a rose by any other name...!

I have no objection to you using the quote. If I ever end up meeting the flirty young man who sent me that message, I'll let him know :)

Lostman, I'm considered the black sheep of my family....img src="imagesadultemoticons001.gif"

CT: Well it certainly gets you noticed, if nothing else :-)

Choco: Even a rolo is better that some of the messages I get.

Lilli: Have u ever been on cam? I would love to see that :P....Yes, well about cams, that is another blog. I cam sometimes and when people tell me, you shud smile, u shud show more...I always say the same Lilli....You do it first and teach me img src="imagesadultemoticons012.gif"

The English language is one of the most expressive in the world with a vast vocabulary allowing one to use nuances which are not available in some other languages.Therefore to use it like a sledgehammer is to devalue it. I enjoy using the language of Keats, Byron,Shakespeare,Wilde etc. to establish a rapport . It is true that some of the responses I get are along the lines of " You're a smarmy git,aren't you ? " These are more than counter balanced however, by ladies who think it is charming. I shall continue and hope that my words are received in the same spirit as when I address them to someone.

Delivering the ideal flirt is (I imagine) as difficult as effective bowling in Cricket. Some flirts can just come over as being sickeningly sycophantic, whereas others are about as subtle as a sexual sledgehammer :-) And yet - human character being as diverse as it is - there will always be those who will actually prefer either type of approach. I suppose I'm a crabby old cynic, and would not (for example) stoop to calling a woman a "goddess" in the public domain because it's just so.....well.....yucky :-) I'm not averse to dishing out (or accepting) compliments, but they have to be delivered with a straight arm :-)

Fetch:
To flirt or not to flirt, that's the question. Adapted from Shakespeare
Flirting is Love without his wings! - Adapted from Lord Byron
Flirting is a science; if you have the conditions, you get the result. - Adapted from Oscar Wilde

I also love these authors and actually Wilde is one of my favs. Never change Fetch.

Choco: I am googling the Panda's rolo :P lol

I can't agree Skebbie ! Although I was a pretty decent batsman, my left arm spinners were usually hammered out of the park !

FreeFor. " Flirting is a capital offence "...." Yes,it is capital ! " ( WS Gilbert " The Mikado " ) In fact, that particular playwright was so fond of chatting up the ladies,he had a salon in his house he used to refer to as " The Flirtorium "

Skebbie: To call a woman a goddess in public is not flirting is just being a sledgehammer lol..However, you are right, I am sure all of us get what we want from someone. It just takes time and going through automated messages img src="imagesadultemoticons026.gif"

Choc: You could be onto something there. Either that or an app that links you to a polygraph machine while you're online :-)

MsV: Fetch will appear like the Good Fairy in a minute and say you shouldn't be so self-depreciating :-)

Flirting,
I am bloody useless at the online flirting and yet face to face, it comes completely naturally.

I find it difficult to gauge a person from their profiles, especially those that have the one liner 'Bored and ere for a shag' with 'Tell you later' all the way through.
The other end of that scale is the concise profile, every little detail included. All the does and don't s of this persons life.
Replying to that is like an job application; having to write a personal statement which includes all of the desired traits to prove you are a worthy and eligible candidate.
That's not flirting, it's a bloody a box ticking exercise.

I tried to flirt in the blogs with very little success.
Well, I used to but no longer....thanks Censorfairy! Grrrrr.
I suppose it is possible, given the correct direction of conversation, but the random nature of blogs, it very rarely happens.
Also blogland is filled with the same people, therefore it is very limited and I kinda see you all as an extended online family now....


There is always the chat....now is it just me, or at busy periods it is impossible to follow a single conversation, let alone ten or more.
It's just all too frenetic for me, by the time i have typed a response, the conversation has moved on several times.

Now Fetch, I much admire you....in a manly and non flirtatious way..
To have read such works by great writers, to enjoy that work and be able to quote and adapt is a great skill...
I am much disappointed that in my childhood i didn't read or appreciate such works...
The Encyclopaedia Britannica was my staple, fulfilling my thirst for knowledge, but if i was to quote that publication, my flirt would end up written in an ascending alphabetical order, alright for anyone with an alpabetti spaghetti fetish!

So, yes, I do envy you smooth talking, silver tongue bastards that can charm the birds from the trees, and more so, do it online

It is definitely an art form, that which I have not mastered. I know my place and that doesn't involve online flirting.

Welcum: You know? The other day I read someone in the chat giving advice to a guy there saying that women usually remember the man who made them smile or laugh and not the one showing his bits. Therefore, I am sure that your kind of flirting is also valid. You make lots of people smile...

BTW, I am not your aunty Welcum. lol

"Also blogland is filled with the same people"

In terms of people who contribute regularly, then probably yes. However I know for a fact that many others read and follow the blogs but remain in the wings. It came as a complete surprise to me a few months back that some people actually *follow* my posts, as several have PM'd me. So, Welcum, rest assured us regulars value your input, and you can bet your amusing contributions have found the attention of others elsewhere. I'm sure your street cred is way higher than average on this site, irrespective of your own perceived image of your flirting skills.

Skebbie: Is there a follow button? ...I would not mind following some people here...img src="imagesadultemoticons024.gif"

Deborose: Missed u! :) .....Well, in a way my point has been exactly that. Asking men here to take the time to talk, to communicate. Flirting is just a way to start but you could use any different method you feel comfortable with as long as there is interaction. After all, there is always a shoe who would fit your size but you need to try it on first. img src="imagesadultemoticons022.gif"

Love flirting and chattin. Can be so sensual. Erotic

Love flirting and chattin. Can be so sensual. Erotic

HV: I think u do pretty well :)

Lillie: I laughed so hard at your post. Shall I share my amazing flirty message?
"Hey I couldn’t help but notice how gorgeous you are! Let’s get naked! If you’re interested, say hi!"
Gosh! I think I am totally wooed img src="imagesadultemoticons022.gif"

Marie: It is great that you give second chances. You are defo better person than me. img src="imagesadultemoticons001.gif" Maybe, I should? Something to think about.

FFP: Obviously no FB-type "follow" button.....but people PM me now and again.......

Skebbie & Free,

There is a form of like button, the "will you he my friend" request.
In the recent activity drop down, there are two tabs to the left of history, check the one that looks like a group.
Any comments from your car then shows as "that person has commented on blogs" which includes those you yourself have not commented on.

But you all probably knew that so sorry if i am teaching you to suck eggs.
(Not creamy ones from a particular confectionary manufacturer that we are not allowed to mention, apparently, or maybe the suggestion of having relations with said confectionary was outside the realms of what is decent? I am sure there is nothing wrong with an extra creamy cream egg)

Mac: I think you just wanted to find the opportunity to use that emoji...lol...I hope your eyes survived too :)

Welcum: Thanks I will have a look. I am always learning :)

Tesla: Thanks for your reply. I think the way I wrote the blog was indeed a very light way to point out how many automated messages and flirts are getting in the way of decent interaction with people.

I have never personally clicked on the flirt button but I am sure many messages have been sent on my behalf from the site. The truth is when I write a message to someone I am interested in, I really take the time to write someone personal. It does not need to be long but meaningful.

Another way for people to start and who are not good at messages is the chatrooms. I suggest this also to people that feel more comfortable exchanging in a different and more direct way.

However, you may be right, I should give a second chance but considering, that some people just write "Hey babe sup, shall we meet?"...I am sorry to say, I may think twice before doing it. Plus, I read the profile and I see the pics and I form an opinion of a that person. Maybe unfair and not accurate but considering how many people are there, first impressions are important.

Mac: I buy anything for you….I will pretend and hug u even. To show sympathy of course, your vulnerability breaks my heart lol

Testa, I speak for myself…… Definitely acceptable and if the subject in question is sexy, wity and get the hint of banter even better….Not everything has a goal sometimes. Even though Mac said otherwise….lolimg src="imagesadultemoticons021.gif"

Flirting is an art form, some are blessed with the creativity to perform that 'art' with ease while others are not so gifted.
My personal opinion is that one has to be open to being flirted with or it won't come across i the way it was intended. Though i will say i've come across one or two that seem to have mastered the 'art' of flirting and managed to do so with such ease which has lead to a higher level of connection, so to speak. Though that has also proved that they also have the art of good conversation & communication skills that are more stimulating and not limited to 'fancy a shag' or the like :-) x

And talking about flirting....I just read an article saying that in order to bond or to express sexual interest, people flirt.

Furthermore, it added that there are two main types of flirting.
1. Flirting for fun that can take place between friends, co-workers, or total strangers that wish to get to know each other. This does not intend to lead to sexual intercourse or romantic relationship, but increases the bonds between two people.

2. Flirting with intent plays a role in the mate-selection process. This flirting will send out signals of sexual availability to another, and expects to see the interest returned in order to continue flirting.

Now, I feel better :P

And is there anything wrong with being a tease?
Intentions are usually obvious from the outset so very rarely should it lead to confusion or misunderstanding.... Except on the odd occasion, but that was a one off and the injunction has been removed now so no harm done.

Hahahahahahaha S&C: I was too. Until I remembered, I numbered the types of flirt...I was laughing so hard LMAO

Lillie: I am not sure about being a tease. I do think it is nice to feel not all flirting has got a sexual aim. Though nothing being wrong about being a tiny little tease when appropriate ;)

Mild piss taking is flirting, right? Without a sense of humor on both sides nothing good is going to come of it...whatever it may turn out to be!

Woosheenk,
So you wont blow every guy that can write an amazing macro, but that would imply your criteria dictates you would blow some of them?
Now when you say amazing, what is your definition of amazing?
Are we àble to submit our own codes for your approval?
It doesn't seem to fit the confines of having a number one or a two'sy but as far as online flirting goes, blow me, writing a mean macro is something i can do.

Flirting is always good :) makes the heart pound when your trying too impress someone! But if your a shy person it can be hard too follow up on what you start, and you may end up with nothing. (First reply too a blog and not sure if I should have lol)

Welcum: You are defo a flirt lol

Deb: I was about to dare you but you were too quick for me. Dang it! :P...I just hope you don't get messages from guys who are into that kind of flirting though...lol

Me: Welcome to blogland, I am glad you are replying and I really hope you stick around. I think this is one of the best ways for people to get to know you, especially if you are shy (btw, I thnk it is a cute thing to admit) img src="imagesadultemoticons001.gif"

Zorro, wasn't that a backdoor trojan?
I am oldschool, much prefer my code written in Pascal.
I find it like a Shakespearian sonnet.
Begin
How(i).compareTo(thee)=summers day)
While((thou art):more lovely(and).more+(temperate):
Num.+1(rough.winds)do.(sha(ke))=the.da(r.ling)+(buds).of may...

Seems this computerised flirting malarkey ain't so difficult after all.

Well this is my first reply to a blog so please bare (grins) with me. The art of flirting can be a very enjoyable experience for for both, when both are on the same page. The obvious problems come when the flirt is unwelcome. Feelings can be hurt on either side, but there is no reward if you don't at least take a chance correct? We all knowhave people that we flirt with. Whether they are a friendly flirt or a more intimate flirt depends on the person. Having chemistry is the main ingredient as we all know. Unfortunately some people whether on chat or in public have no idea how to flirt. Some become aggressive and end up being told off by the recepiant of the unwanted flirts or by the group as a whole. In public or in chat on of the main ingrediants in communication is the respect factor. If the person perceives that the flirt is done in a disrespective manor, then the communication will be unwanted. ( hence the crash and burn )

The art of flirting is almost extinct. But there is A few on line who know how to flirt and i can say with open heart that i am one person who still knows how to flirt even on line. i have never forgotten how to flirt with A lady and make her feel special.. I like to think that iI am still very good at it. So does that answer your question BOB X X X q!

OIcpl: Is no woman safe - even in Starbucks in broad daylight ????? :-)

Anthony: Welcome to blogland and thanks so much for your reply. I always wonder how it happens when there are 4 people involved in the process.

Open: I have this feeling that u were beginning to tell a story and I am waiting fr the rest now...lol

Skibbie: If I were in Starbucks and someone wud buy me a coffee, he would alreayd have half my heart in his pocket. And I think Open is very attractive for sure because until nobody has offered me one...so I guess at least I am safe...lol

someone bought me ****** (geez)
until now *******

Welcome back Gemini :) I hope you have come back as radiant as ever :)

Choco: I am sure we will get a piece :P

Open: I am looking forward to the end or beginning :)

That doesn't sound anything like the Pascal we did at uni...that was all about arrays and algorithms, not a single bit of incest anywhere to be seen!

There was no chance of flirting neither as the only girl involved was a raving hypochondriac with the personality of a roof tile that never turned up..probably for the best really.

Lillie, give it a try you don't know what you're missing...but can probably guess!

Tees bien!