Strange Days.........

Yes Mr G, it might have turned out to be something from The Matrix :-)

Skebbie, I laughed so hard reading your blog that my eyes watered....You r amazing with words!

I wonder if I could come up with the female version of it but about some male pictures on the site...:P

I have noticed this phenomena on other sites too, why though?
Whilst uploading a photo of their hanging hemorrhoid or prolapse to get themselves onto embarrassing bodies they decide "that will make a great profile picture"
Now i know someone that lost a bollock and had the battered and blackened said meatball in a jar, which they used as a profile picture on a well known social media site...but that was for shock factor.
If you think a photo that would make a gynecologist inhale sharply whilst muttering "holy mary mother of all that is saintly and good; be gone with you Beelzebub!", then please consider the following....
Site admin have to authorize the photos, please do not make them suffer unnecessarily!
Now i know i ain't no George Clooney, hence no photo of my boat; but my back is passable.

DD?
Are you telling me the Russians now brew Double Diamond?
It works wonders apparently..

One positive thing to have emerged from this experience is that it has added weight to my thesis that pubic hair should not be zapped, and serves a very useful purpose: i.e. so that you can tell which way up a fanny photo has been uploaded :-)

Some of my media will testify to that :-)

It made me laugh! Love reading your blogs!

People keep telling me, but I've never been conscious or aware of this blog ratings lark. I think in comparison with most of you I have very limited usage of the site: basically just blogging and letching after women who don't fancy me :-)

Is it my imagination or have a load of posts been given curtains?
Had three of mine hatcheted today.
Think somebody maybe having a bad day!!!
(Don't exepect this post to live longer than five minutes before getting purged)

Lil: Cheque's in the post. And would you like to be my publicity secretary? :-)

Sisy (although I'm sure you're not :-) : Yes I'm occasionally tempted to get a henna tattoo so I can have a couple of weeks pretending to be a thug. Good for my Renaissance Man image :-)

Indepth: Wouldn't be surprised if some wimmin out there have actually followed your suggestion already. I suppose it might come in useful in 30 years time when I'm half blind and suffering from cognitive impairment. A bit like a road sign, or a prompt from the wings when I've forgotten my lines :-)

deboroseMsV: I'm actually quite self-effacing, so currently turning a little scarlet. It's Dixon who's the big-head :-)

OIcpl: Re. ancestry. I know I'm basically Celt, but as the Romans and Vikings both colonized my neck of the woods, I may have a touch of both somewhere in my genes. It could explain a lot :-) Certainly as far as my hair colour goes (both top and bottom) I'm a bit of a mosaic :-)

img src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif"

Er.......quite.

Indepths comment about which way up got me thinking....
If you are caught in an avalanche and become buried in snow, you will be so disoriented, you wont know up from down (sounds like a normal Friday night to me..)
You are meant to dribble which will run downwards so you know which way is up.....now can you see where this is going!!!
So rather than the expense of a tattoo, a trail of dribble should suffice for a "fanny foto"
And one direction wont need to be mentioned again either!
Its win win as i see it.

Welcum: Perhaps that's what the geezer above was trying to say in his emoji.......er.......I think (?)

MissV: I disagree actually. There really is such a thing as an aesthetic minge. And besides - you (and me) are biased :-)

Whats this...going for a blog with as many words for clunge in it?

I take mine with a drop of water and an absinthe chaser.
Chin chin ol chap.

Goodnes me, polluting 'whisky' with water is sacrilege.
One does wonder if 'chin chin' fall's into the same category as 'toodle- pip' and 'toodle-oo' for the all boy's old school days?

Sanshain: "Chin-chin" is a diminutive for "penis" in Japan (usually used in the context of little boys). The opposite is "kyo-kon", or the rather appropriate "marra", which describe something rather more splendid.

Mr Sissy, Are you suggesting i would wreck my Highland Park with H2O?
Perish the thought...Hang your head in shame at the shear mention of such a despicable action.
However the alcoholic substance you allude to i find a little to strong for my softy southern palate.
I'm just a big Jesse....

I agree - Highland Park is to be savoured neat. Had several when I was in Glasgow last month. I was also introduced to Buckfast :-) If in doubt, maybe Sanshain could explain :-)

PS: I'm not a "ned" (well.....not really, but Dixon sometimes gets a bit boisterous :-)

deborose: Well at least his fate wasn't as bad as that of Prometheus, and he'd have emerged as the fittest dead guy around :-)

Openislandcouple,
You may be confused but no more than most brits will be,
Unfortunately google translate doesnt yet translate from cockney or Glaswegian to the queens English, so until that happens just google those spurious words.
I had to with "ned" which turns out to be a scottish term for a chav
And a Jessse is what you would refer to as a fag.
I do hope this helps your understanding of our incomprehensible lingo.
This post was brought to you by the Ministry of Rubbish Information.

I do apologize for not including the welsh, i am very fond of the welsh and find the welsh accent rather sexy.
Indepth, if you live south of the border and speak English...

Think i can say without a doubt that 'Jessie' has become redundant and replaced with the words such as 'Tosser, Wanker, Twat, Dick and Arsehole', Scottish rant over :-) x

Skebbie i wouldn't know about 'Buckfast' not being a ned, though have heard that it tastes rather like all the worst most vile tasting cough medicine rolled into one, so i'll gladly stick to Malt Whisky thanks all the same. :-) x

Indepth, on the subject of "do i sound English?", no idea, i aint ever had the pleasure of hearing your dulset tones.
You must have heard of the duck test?
You aint ginger and you you aint incomprehensible, therefore you must be British.

SSG, i am so sad for Scotland, my mates from the highlands certainly knew a thing or two about insults minus the expletives, although they did insist on wearing those poncy feathers in their berets.
Seems now bonny Scotland is no better than the rest of us foul mouthed berks.

Ahhh but you see welcumdisaster it is better in my opinion, as it's my place of birth and no matter where in the country i were to move. My heart will always belong to Scotland. :-) x

I gather the "problem" with Buckfast is that it delivers a massive jolt of alcohol in an almost "downable in one" strength (unlike whiskey), while containing a potent cocktail of stimulant substances: if you imagine a cross between sherry and Red Bull, you'll get a rough idea. Definitely not a subtle connoisseur's tipple, but purpose-designed for mayhem (despite the fact that the monks of Buckfast Abbey probably had completely innocent intentions in marketing it as a "tonic" :-)

Wow!! I take 2 days off the hub and I am completely and absolutely lost here...All started with a picture of Sauron's eye and now, where are you? Slangs, accents and everything in between? hahaha

For what it is worthy, I love all Brits slangs and I adore British accent. Meaning, Scots, Welsh, English and Irish....Yes, sometimes I can't understand a word of what they are saying, but I should be able to tune in gradually.... Having said that, has someone noticed how sexy Latins are when speaking English? Yep, self-inflicted compliment...Well I should be able to love myself right?

FFP: Can give you a few lessons in Cumbrian if you like (for a suitable fee, of course ;-) There's quite a lot of Viking in there, as you can probably twig if you look at place names all over the county. The hill farmers still count their sheep in Norse (before shagging them).

Where else in England could you find a village called Watendlath ? Sounds like somewhere from Middle Earth :-)

.....and whenever I head north up the M6 and pass through that marvellous cutting between the Howgills at Tebay, I feel as though Mordor is calling me home.........which is, I suppose, where this blog started :-)

Skebbie, Don't forget I lived on that part of the woods (lol) for a while when in the UK. I love Cumbria and West Yorkshire and the moors. I am a city girl for sure but I always admire the beauty of all...(except weather of course) but even that is part of its character...

Did you mention a fee? My mind is wondering now..Considering you have more fans than "One Direction" on the site apparently, I am now picturing like JLo with excessive fees and demands...img src="imagesadultemoticons012.gif"

In fact the train conductor turned to stone and had to be wheeled out on a trolley.

Sisyphus: Don't you mean Honiton ?