A very sorry story.

Sorry can at times be enough, if it's heartfelt and the other person knows that you are not dishing out empty words rather that you are speaking for the heart. We are all human so of course we all make mistakes, it is just important that we realise when making mistakes that we then take steps to build bridges that may have become broken. :-) x

PS Welcome back to the blogs Sentinel. :-) x

If one is fortunate enough to have a " true friendship " it hopefully follows that anything which might be said is not taken as something to wound or hurt but just thoughtless words. My mouth runs away with me sometimes,but those who are closest to me know that I am not intentionally malicious and continually make allowances for me. I value that very much and hope you find friends who will be similarly disposed.

This is quite subjective, forgiveness for being wronged.
I had fallen out with the guy that is my best friend... Long story but it was over money.
Over ten years we did not speak, fortunately our devious partners saw sense and arranged for us to meet.
My 40th, a surprise party.it is arranged that we both come in at the same time.
It could have gone either way, fortunately for me the man mountain walked over to me, hugged me and that was it rift over...it was emotional.
Recently his wife died, I am gutted that I wasted all those years.

Life has taught me now not to over react to situations and say sorry when you make a mistake.

However there are some actions that are beyond forgiveness, hence the fact I find myself on this site.

To err is human, to forgive devine...

This is a very touching blog indeed. I wish I could say I have not hurt anyone. I wish I could say I have not been hurt.However, we are humans and so we have the tendency to act sometimes impulsively and other we just act because we care and it is not seen that way by that person.

I tend to always care for my friends. However, my life has made me leave them behind many times so good byes are always a must for me.

Sentinel: To say sorry sometimes is indeed enough, but above all I truly believe that just finding the right moment to talk is important too. It may not be immediately or it may take 40 years but I hope whatever happened to you can be forgiven because the truth is we don't know what happened. Wishing you the best.

It's so easy to say you forgive what someone has done (or not done) but you will never forget how they made you feel.

Remember: Revenge is a dish best served cold img src="imagesadultemoticons012.gif"

Luv2,
That is a very cynical comment,
Unfortunately it is the bitter truth....

Mr Chocolatelover, I am curious, when you rule the world, will there be free kit kats on Fridays (I can already hear Skebbie groaning - another blog going down the food route!)
And when you do eventually become ruler, can i be your minion img src="imagesadultemoticons022.gif"

To be a ruler don't you have to be 12inches tall?

Let's face it, no matter how you dress it, some actions are unforgivable.

Really? Which one?
Why am I not surprised ....

Luv2, I gotta disagree...
Some actions can be forgiven but it all depends on how you are dressed ;) img src="imagesadultemoticons012.gif"

Saying sorry isn't enough. It's just a word and it has no meaning or value unless you make the effort to understand the other person's viewpoint and how it is that you've hurt them.

I know I've hurt people and I've been hurt in return. My attitude before when someone would hurt me deeply was to walk away from them because to me, that meant I couldn't rely on them. The lesson I learned from all of those people was that I was the only person I could depend on. It meant that I could be close friends with someone but I never opened up to them completely just in case I got hurt yet again.

In the last couple of years, I've changed my attitude. Now I accept that everyone makes mistakes and we hurt each other, often without meaning to. Just because someone might say or do something that hurts me is now no longer a reason for me to cut all ties with them. Having said that, it does depend on what they said or did. Some things are unforgivable. Yes, I know, to err is human and to forgive is divine - but I'll never be anywhere near divine.

Even if the friendship somehow continues, I can't forget if someone I am close to does hurt me. The memory is still there in the murky depths of my mind and I won't allow myself to expect that person to be there if I need them. But at I no longer cut people out of my life the way I used to. I think that may be a good thing but ask me again in 10 years' time.

My belief, and this from my heart, is that when comes to matters of the affore mentioned heart, it is not so easy to forgive simply because a bond has been torn apart by an act of deceit...
Friends are easily forgiven, and in most cases should, unless of course they were implicit in the deceit.
Being hurt by a lover is hard to deal with because the thought lingers, festering away in the darkest recesses of your mind, occasionally rearing up and kicking you in the cobblers when you are at your lowest.
I know i cannot forgive for what has happened to me regards affairs of the heart, the trust is gone and the hurt grew with every kiss...distance is what i now crave, alas like many, i am trapped in what is tant amount to a lie.

Forgiving a very close friend is easy, for me it happened without any words being said, he is a true friend and i feel bad that i didnt spot the problems he had at the time we fell out.

I am not looking for divinity, just happiness and if that comes in the form of not holding a grudge and being man enough to apologize and accept an apology from a friend or stranger then i am almost there, one thing i do know, happiness isnt found in a bottle of JD...

PS, there are those out there that think they know something, IM me ASAP..

"some actions are unforgivable"

If a former Auschwitz inmate can forgive her captors, if a former Brit POW who was a slave on the Burma Railway can forgive how he was treated, and if people who lost family in the recent shootings in Charleston can forgive the gunman, then I think anything is forgivable. The types of actions that generally attract opprobrium on sites like this generally involve "faithlessness" or "deceit", which in the great scheme are pretty petty - and besides - such behavior is part and parcel of the intricate machinations of "adult dating". I would suggest that the true worth of anyone's character is how heshe handles betrayal and disrespect. Unfortunately forgiveness is often taken as a sign of "weakness", when in fact it takes considerably more guts and maturity than being vengeful and vindictive.

Perhaps my comment was misconstrued, it was completely unrelated to the subject of this blog....
I will spell it out instead of trying to use encrypted code..
Very recently a person sent me a message which i cannot reply to due to the current level of my subscription... I need to pass a very important and personal message to them which i have attempted in vain to do.
I hope this person realises who he or SHE is and contacts me through the instant messaging service of this site.

I am not here to be nasty, it is not in my nature.

Very sage words, SS. I think even here in the hallowed ground of the blogs there is a tendency for armchair moralization. Looking after one's own patch has always been my watchword. One's own thoughts and philosophy are exactly that: one's own.

Seductress: I agree. Forgetting is not how we learn :-)

From my previous comment, apparently i am on probation...i must have been very, very bad in a previous life. img src="imagesadultemoticons012.gif"
For the person that has PM'd and IM'd me, i will respond once i am let out of solitary and normal privileges resume...

Yes you are correct...
It is one weeks solitary confinement.
I dont mind the whipping and beatings, its the leather pants and the gimp mask i have to wear i am not too impressed with...no old gits should be made to wear them, not a good look! img src="imagesadultemoticons021.gif"

A lot of well considered words have been published on here. After reading and considering them, feel the word to focus on is "intent". I know it is claimed by wiser souls than I that "there are no accidents", but because they are "wise" does not make them always right. If the offence was intended to hurt rather than accidental then forgiveness is the domain of the strong. To err is human but it takes a computer to really !!!!!!! things up. Thank you all
For your thoughts and input.

What are your thoughts regarding. Simon Cowell, to be forgiven for all he has inflicted on us, or is that stretching it too far?

I'd love to see Cowell and that wanker Clarkson in a cage with SS :-)

No way I'd ever share the same cage with that even bigger wanker Cowell :-)