I recently bumped into an old work colleage and as we chatted a number of things slowly occured to me:
1. I still have a strange attraction to her - let me explain a little further. She is not bad looking in fact she is pretty reasonably good looking, but I would class her as being more average than double take in the street stunning. The thing is there is something about her that really gets me going and I can't quite put my finger on it.
2. I could not have a relationship with her - again to expand a little, we get on, we have always chatted as colleagues, we chat if we ever pass each other in the street, she is very pleasant, she's a nice woman, we just don't have enough in common to base a relationship on if I were looking, which I'm not. After a couple of weeks it would probably fizzle out.
3. It would appear that she is now single - She has always been in a long term relationship since I have known her, as we chated she revealed that she was back living with her parents, I didn't delve as being unsure of the situation I didn't want her breaking down in tears in the street due to my insensitivity.
My dilema is this, after thinking about it a little later I wondered if she'd be interested in taking our friendship to a "with benefits" status. As I've stated I find her very attractive and alluring however I need to make it absolutely clear that there would be no romantic interest simply friends helping each other out providing some mutual relief and satisfaction until such time as she finds a new romantic interest. But how to broach the subject with her without offending her or coming over as some freaky creep, that is my problem.
We have never flirted, and flirting would, in my opinion, give the impression of romantic interest. I remember the struggle I had to contain a smile when a few years ago another female friend confided in me that someone I knew had propositioned her for casual sex when she split up with her husband. My simle was not in mockery of the gentleman making this, in her opinion, indicent proposal but rather at the fact that she could not understand what had caused him to assume she would ever entertain such an arrangement. I could recall countless numbers of social occassions where she had flirted with pretty much every guy in the room and even made joking propositions to some couples of them wife swapping with her and her husband yet once it was public that she was single again she was outraged that someone she knew had asked her if she would be interested in some NSA now and again.
I'd therefore be interested to hear other peoples comments on this situation, have you made such a proposal to a friend, did you just come out with it in a direct manner or was your approach more cagey. Have you had someone make a similar proposal to you, what was your reaction or if someone did what do you anticipate your reaction to be. Would your reaction be different if it were someone you had previously fancied than if it were someone who you've not had an interest in but on the other hand you don't necessarily not fancy them???? (I like question marks I do!)
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6:35 pm Monday, 1st June, 2015
Come on Gerry, where's your spirit? Next time you bump in to her, just say, "Hey gorgeous, fancy a shag?"
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7:18 pm Monday, 1st June, 2015
I'm very fussy! |
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10:20 pm Monday, 1st June, 2015
Will look forward to hearing how the advice from auntie Luv2 went Gerry? Or if she was fussy as well ;-) |
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3:58 am Tuesday, 2nd June, 2015
Garry, I guess even the most flirtatious woman would not particularly agree that this means she could get this kind of proposals all the time lol. Sometimes some women are just very outgoing. I think a proposal like that should come from someone you have been having either a close friendship to feel comfortable to say it one day during drinks or with someone you know very little because there is the advantage of anonymity.
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10:31 am Tuesday, 2nd June, 2015
Thanks freefor, one of my problems is I'm not very perceptive when it comes to this kind of thing, when we were chatting she seemed to be fishing asking questions about my situation but then again this could have been general chat, matters of the heart or in this case matters of the animalistic lust, such a minefield don't you think? |
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11:47 am Tuesday, 2nd June, 2015
Garry, I am sure you are not alone. I truly believe women are truly complex sometimes (Men are sometimes worse on our defense thought) |
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4:49 pm Tuesday, 2nd June, 2015
Just say it slowly ... "Faanncy aa shhaag?"
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10:18 pm Tuesday, 2nd June, 2015
Is she hard of hearing or is English her second language? ..... Perhaps try sign language or a phrasebook? |
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5:59 pm Thursday, 4th June, 2015
I sense some of us on here just aren't taking me seriously. There are plenty of places I can go to have the piss taken thank you very much!!img src="imagesadultemoticons026.gif" |
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7:18 pm Thursday, 4th June, 2015
Oops you wanted serious relationship advice!?
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6:23 am Friday, 5th June, 2015
I think I did see a serious blog once a couple of years ago but it didn't last very long. |
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12:21 pm Saturday, 6th June, 2015
Remember the Tortoise and the Hare....slow and sure wins the raceprize. Sometimes it's better to take your time rather than rushing in.
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2:04 pm Monday, 8th June, 2015
Oh dear, the thing with email and any kind of text based communication is that it is very hard to inject expression and convey intonation which would otherwise give a completely different meaning to the words actually written. My comedy diva outburst seems to have backfired and made a number of you take my text at it's literal face value. Never mind, of course I'm not looking for actual relationship advice, I've not yet reached those depths of despair. I was however expecting more of a discussion on peoples personal experiences relating to my blog. The subject of my blog was basically a fleeting thought that I had during a conversation I had with someone I hadn't seen for some time which then reminded me of another conversation a different friend and I had on a similar experience. I just wondered if anybody else had experience of indecent proposals? Apologies for the crap subject I must try harder. Maybe something Game of Thrones based, sounds like it's been getting interesting with mystic dildo's, what next enchanted love eggs? |
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8:01 pm Monday, 8th June, 2015
Gerry, I got it ... I knew you were being a diva, but you know that serious advice has never been a strength of mine; sarcastic comments are more my thing :-)
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10:06 pm Monday, 8th June, 2015
Gerry don't be so hard on yourself, there's no such thing as a crap blog subject. Just don't be disappointed if it doesn't take the course you thought it would. They very rarely take the direction that the author assumed. Just let it flourish and after several weeks it might just return to where you intended ....... |
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3:25 pm Wednesday, 10th June, 2015
Thanks Luv2, I don't believe you however I'm certain that you would give excellent serious advice maybe after a period of piss taking.
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3:18 pm Thursday, 11th June, 2015
Have to agree Gerry, some don't do themselves any favours with the pics they post though i find it surely they are not shocked by the kind of mails they are sent when they are showing their wares for all to see on a site such as this. I for one would never and have never sent a 'wanna fuck' mail or anything of the sort as i'm not that type of guy, but there are so many morons with shit for brains that maybe to avoid the sort of crude mails that some send that Tasteful pics are maybe a better choice than tacky,unless they are trying to attract a certain type of attention i would have thought. That goes for both males & females as some males also post very tasteless pics.
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8:41 pm Thursday, 11th June, 2015
Are you having a Larrf? |
