Wise Up Sucker!.......................

we should possess a bit of both, surely!! Keep our eyes wide open every time... yet having a bit of faith is human nature.. Trusting those behind a pc screen, screen names, photos, profiles implicitly is dangerous... internet use always requires trust, but when you invest a bit of yourself in someone, its foolish to be totally blinkered.

Meet for real!! and use online as a means to 'catch up' and manage the relationshipfriendship.. or watch it dissolve. I dont trust enough I think.. maybe thats my age and experience to blame lol img src="imagesadultemoticons012.gif"

It's a matter of principle now Graham ......

did he delete ?

Good for you Joe, fingers crossed for third time lucky!!!

I may be an old fool but i'm somewhat a believer.....though i have found that all will come out i the wash so try to do my homework before making any plans to meet somone having been burnt before. So no leap of faith without knowing exactly what i'm getting into for me, hence the reason i don't go in for quick meets. Also i think taking some time to build a connection makes for a better experience all round. No one likes to be fooled or have the wool pulled over their eye's do they? No good ever comes out of lies as a liar will always be caught out eventually, only so long they can keep up the facade......

Good blog Joe.x

Joe how did you come up with "Couldn't even hit a cow's arse with a banjo"? lolol made me laugh

Maybe you're right BGBF ..... Didn't delete just vanished hmmmm..

Never even got to see last time MissG!

Once upon a time I had this cow and a banjo SSG ......... etc ;)

That's a relief. I thought I was getting dementia. Could have sworn I'd contributed to this one, but comments above explain all. Did the waiter clear the table before everyone had finished?

I 'used' to enjoy people watching (not in a pervy way), looking how members interacted with each other in the blogs etc. You get to notice subtle nuances or 'ticks' in the way people write and express themselves. We all have writing ticks, you just need to look out for them and they stand out a mile in fake and duplicate profiles (shock horror).
So, in terms of trusting people on-line, I'm a self-confessed cynic and I make no apologies for this. It's unsafe to have any other view on this in my opinion; it's not just children and young people who need lessons in e safety.

I may have a cynical (prefer to call it sensible) approach here, but I still like to think that I'm a pretty good judge of character and often rely on my instincts when it comes to trusting people in both a personal and professional setting (yes, I said the P word). I don't always get it right however and what I've come to realise is that my expectations of people are often based on my own values, morals, motivations etc and not on the reality of what someone has committed to or indeed capable of delivering.

My single, good looking, quite a catch colleague mentioned in a previous blog is a prime example of this. He talked the talk so very well and I believed in him, but sadly he was never going to be the bright star employee that I'd hoped for ... I wish him well with his new job.

You need to have your wits about you and learn how to cope with disappointment.

I think life is more pleasant ( certainly in personal relationships ) if one starts from the premise of thinking the best of everyone. Of course there are times when one is going to feel disappointed ,hurt let down,but carrying a jaundiced or cynical view does I think,have a negative effect on one's personality.
Someone once told me many years ago that I was a good friend but terrible as an enemy.There was some truth in that and I have felt generally more content with life since I have drawn a firm line under bad experiences and consigned them to the waste bin of life, to be forgotten forever.
I would say therefore that perhaps I am a little gullible except that that word has fallen into disuse and is no longer in the dictionary.

Luv2, 'I'used' to enjoy people watching (not in a pervy way)'

Liar, liar, pants on fire! Graham, will be telling us he doesn't like kit Kats next! img src="imagesadultemoticons001.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons001.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons001.gif"

OK I get and am also probably a cynic when I first start talking to new contacts but surely after a considerable amount of time that cynicism must slowly change to belief mustn't it?

Luv2 you're such a hard taskmaster. I bet you really crack that whip at work ;-)

I can't believe this blog is still here Graham!

Joe, personally I'm neither one. I think they can both be healthy in small controlled doses, but destructive and debilitating in the extreme!

I like to apply the 'learner' principle! Switch all your senses on to high alert, but sit back, make yourself comfy, and enjoy the twist turns, bumps and thrills of the ride ahead.

I try not to compare and contrast with yesterday, as that was yesterday, and it's all gone now. Tomorrow hasn't happened and never will, so all I'm left to work with is right now!

i have to say of all the stuff read here i suppose im a believer but with a cautious nature ,although i have my reckless moments ,i tend to give people the benefit of the doubt but i won,t and don,t waste energy on those who let me down life too short to hold grudges and it saps your life force , so i just move on and forget

Part of the problem is that a lot of people are not confident in themselves as who they are. They feel they need to create a persona in order to fit in. I wish people would be themselves from the start.

"Part of the problem is that a lot of people ...... feel they need to create a persona in order to fit in."

I was wondering whether I'd fit in better here if I called myself a "bull" :-)

My mind has been boggling at the dead-giveaway idiosyncrasies of writing style that Luv2 seems to have spotted amongst us. (At least I'm assuming she means that, and not a blood-sucking parasite that can sometimes be a vector for nasty viruses..... :-)

I don't know whether I'm sufficiently fixated on this site to apportion so much time to analyzing the characters of invisible people: As long as they appear now and then to prop up the bar with me, and contribute in a positive way to these pages, then I'm quite happy to take them at face value. However, I'm not using the blogs as a medium for "pulling", and I doubt whether any of the current contributors view me as a potential "rogerer" (or indeed a "rogeree" :-)

Off the blogs, though, my "Iron Dome" missile defense system is always on high alert, and it has served me well so far. In an environment that doesn't allow one to look a correspondent in the eye, cynicism seems the only logical approach. Another thing I've found (as FA famously commented last year) is that if I actually call people's bluff, they scuttle off into the woodwork in (say) 95 cases out of a hundred......Which to me suggests that there is a lot of empty talk out there.

"Always expect the worst but hope for the best" perhaps?

I learned my cynicism off my old boss, who possibly did a few too many drugs back in the concorde days, but if you're expecting disappointment it's always a nice surprise when somebody turns out to be who they say they are, and as an added bonus, not an idiot!

Generally I only start to beleive when I have hard physical evidence...I guess that's why religion doesn't do much for me!

even with physical evidence you can still find the persona you thought you was chatting to doesnt measure up, but meet them in a bar and would it be any different? probably not. We're presented with a chance to flirt and arrange fun meets with people we wouldnt have had the chance to know.. and thank God for it!!

I would like u to believe in me I'm a open book and I like to believe in all others but past experience makes me wary. Read my reviews those who have met me have commented on my honesty in the hub wish everyone was like Me

Come sit on the sofa anytime joe x and chat x

DrZ: You sound like a man of my own heart. I agree that being "pleasantly surprised" is always good. Like fq, I'm totally open, but I find that attitude is not reciprocated often here, so I can't help looking at others with a sceptical eye until firm evidence is forthcoming.

FQ, you are indeed one of the kindest and pleasant people I've come into contact with on the site and I shouldn't forget to mention the fact you are also a useful source of advice for cooking, dog training .... the list is long x


MYS - but Graham doesn't like Kit Kats :-)

Not like KitKats Graham? I know there's some strange people here but that takes the biscuit!.... And yes it's still here, who says there's no such thing as miracles?

I believe in your sofa FQ ;-)

Marvellous the things you find down the back of the sofa ;-)

And I was feeling so poorly lishy lol img src="imagesadultemoticons026.gif"

We have, I am sure, suffered hurt from people who deliberately set out to deceive. It is natural to have a healthy reservation about what is being said. However, at some point you have to take a risk to live. That precise moment only you can judge. I am therefore a reserved believer who prefers to get hurt taking a chance and also the reward.

erik: Absolutely no problem with getting "hurt": it's the wasted time that rankles :-)