Let's string each other along, eh

Dixon replies:
Yes, string. As well as the pink thick variety of which you speak, I also recommend its use it as a handy "ready reckoner" during correspondence with prospective lady clients. All I do is ask them to acquire a small amount of the said article and a ruler, and then I give them two measurements, representing length and circumference. A glance at the ruler is sufficient for appraisal of length, and then the string is used for visual representation of circumference: in "real terms", if you will, by forming the given length of string into a circle. All I have to do then is wait a little while for their feverish little imaginations to go into overdrive.

I don't believe Funtimes has come up with this one yet, BTW.......

Lol Luv2 is there no end to your talents?

Being a country boy I've always been partial to the soft green gardening twine which is far nicer than the other rural alternative the nylon baleing string which cuts and burns your hands, but I'm sure there's a few members out there who would prefer the smooth feel of the latter ;-)

As for practical uses of these items, I use mine to attach a tin can on one end at tie the other to the hubs chat room to provide a hi-Tec communication device for interaction with other members but as many people have discovered it keeps breaking and I'm constantly unravelling my balls of string to make a new connection which becomes very time consuming and frustrating!!!!

After about the 10th time of this happening in chat I give up and decide to play with my string on my own .......................

By tying it to a kite for the ultimate funtime experience.

This is almost a top tips blog!

Kinky fq .... string can be used to practice rope play.... tie someone up or something. ....... string can bind all those packages my many admires are sending me
....
When asked how long before you meet? How long Is a piece of string?

Back to sleep to dream of pretty rope play now :)

But when does a piece of string become a length of rope fq?

Is there an official thickness and length needed for rope play? Maybe you can enlighten us string enthusiasts?

How long is a piece of string joe?
Depends on how steadfast you want to hold someone. ...
Soooo many questions but in sure there is a "EU" standard re when string becomes rope......

How long is a piece of string.. and the answer is.... twice the distance from the middle to the end.

So now I have been roped into a thread about string (see what I did there)

I'm bound to feel bad about this later but am sure it will intertwine with something else later.... or knot as the case may be :)

Joe: I had an epiphany after reading your post. If someone were to develop a fully automated "shibari" (or "kinbaku".....depending on preference) machine along the lines of an agricultural hay baler, not only would it eliminate at a stroke all that BS from would-be "rope masters", but it would make available a mind-boggling variety of styles, textures and tension suited to all tastes. It could be fully programmable along the lines of a 3D printer: just punch in the requirements, position your lady partner on the "baling platform" and select the type of ropestring she prefers (which could range from silk through to rough baling twine for extra suffering). Simply press the red button and the thing would whirr into action, lifting, inclining, inverting and spreading the recipient while the ropestring feeds continuously from a large roll stored on a spool. A minute or two later, the fully bound and helpless subject would be ejected from the machine down a shoot, and straight onto the bed (or wherever), ready to be abusedtorturedplied with sex toyshot candle wax etc. Naturally such luxury would not come cheap, but I suppose group rental (perhaps by a sex club) could be an option.

Sounds like the plot to the next Wallace & Grommit film to me Skebbie. Oh what jolly japers they can have when Wallace and Mrs Honeybuns fall into the Acme Bound-o-Matic machine only to be saved by Grommit after they have emerged from the exit in a compromising position.... Unless they wouldn't want to be saved? ;-)

Lilith all sexed out ??????? img src="imagesadultemoticons026.gif"

Luv2Suc,dear heart.I thought I might have something sensible to say about string but I'm a frayed knot .
xxxxxx

I believe string can be woven into a utiliterian garment known in some parts as a vest and is often worn as a symbol of status by a social elite
known for their great wisdom and appreciation of fine wines

Roger: Like Rab C. Nesbitt :-)

The very one I had in mind Skebbie lol

SG14: Actually, as I have mostly Scots DNA, he's always been my role model :-)

When I was little, my gran used to buy cakes for Saturday afternoon tea and the baker would tie the box up with string ... awww the things you remember ;-)


Have I ever mentioned the fact that I can knit? I can also make some fine things with a crochet hook. Lilith, I've even crocheted an early 18th century dress for Barbie. Sexy, eh? I'm such a catch.

Stringfellow in a G-String with a string vest StarG.... Don't tell me you're not thinking about it now!img src="imagesadultemoticons026.gif"

Like I said Luv2 is there no end to your talents?

A friend of mine was concerned to see that he was passing chips when he went the loo.
He explained this strange occurance to his doctor, who advised him to remove his string vest before going to the lavatory !
( poor taste I know but jokes about string are few and far between img src="imagesadultemoticons025.gif"

"there no end to your talents?"
... You should see why I can do with a didgeridoo. :-)


Fetch, jokes about string are few and far between. I'm thinking Joe was setting me up for a fall with his challenge to do a blog about string. Perhaps we could do knot, knot jokes.

Knot, knot, who's there?
(sexy voice) Who would you like me to be sugar?

Knot knot .... Who's there?

Fred ....

Hope you all cotton on to that one....

Knot,Knot !
Who's there ?
I know knot !
( Blimey ,I think that's Shakespeare knocking to come in ! )

Wurzel, they do lots of strange things in Yorkshire.

String also comes in virtual form, you should be very familiar with it Luv2, you keep enough of your blog followers dangling by it!

Yes I have to admit being dangled can be exciting and a lot of fun but sometimes you just wish that you'd be reeled in and put out of your misery.

one, two, three....aaahhhwww.

So stargirl, is that you offering to give me a tug?

Abracadabra ... now you see it, now you don't.
Grrrr

So said granddad to little Johnny. What can't you do with string? Dunno said Johnny. Push it! said Grandad. Huh said Johnny, who wrent off, came back with a can of spray starch which he squirts on the string and once it dries, shoves it through a hole in the garden fence.

Grandad disappears then returns in half an hour. Here's a quid Johnny he says, for that great idea. 50p from me and 50p from your Nan........

Or as Spike Milligan opined:

String
is a very important thing
Rope
is thicker
but string is quicker..

Ooo, gran always had a can of spray starch in a cupboard under the stairs :-)

Didn't the Soup Dragon love blue string?

Loved watching the Clangers which reminds me that Fingerbobs had whiskers made of string ... creative!

Ah, the old programmes were the best :-)

I used to use string to hold my trousers up...

Fingerbobs and clangers .... Think we are showing our age people. I'm sure string was used by the mice in the marvelous mouse organ on Bagpuss as well? But not in the way that has been described by most people here .....

" String is bustin' out all over "
Rigger, how gratifying to see that you worship at the shrine of the sainted Spike ! Remind me to send you an Aunty Disintegrater or two and a half pairs of blue damask curtains which were well-known in Belgravia, for Xmas.

My favourite was the Pakistani Dalek who came back to his wife after a hard day at the office.

Bill and Ben definitely had strings. I think Andy Pandy did too.

Pinocchio didn't need strings because he was a real boy. Ooo, who can remember that rude joke about Pinocchio?

Can't imagine what joke you're talking about ;-)

Don't forget the strings in Joe90, Stingray and Thunderbirds Luv2 ...... Can see you as the Lady Penelope type ;-)

Muffin the Mule?


Jeez, can you tell I'm bored ;-)

Lady Penelope.....mmmmmmmm

I would have been her Parker anyday!

Now there was an oriental lady in Thunderbirds but cant remember her name.

Buy what of Melody Rhapsody and Blowjob in Capt Scarlett? I think Blowjob was the third one but might be mistaken. Anyway they flew fast jets so were probably quite boring for real.

And wasn't there a deaf chick who could breath underwater in Stingray?

I rock a pink twin-set and pearls (dirty winks)

Yes M'lady ...... F.A.B.

Was it Aqua Marina Riggs?

And no one has mentioned a cats cradle. Oh what fun !!!!

A couple seated in a restaurant noticed that all the waiters carried two spoons in their vest pocket. Curious, the man asked their waiter the reason for this.
"Well, sir," the waiter explained, "an efficiency study conducted by management determined that the most frequently dropped silverware item is a spoon. Therefore, all waiters carry two spoons so that the item can be instantly replaced."
As the waiter was offering the explanation to the couple, they noticed there was a string hanging out of the fly of his pants. "What about that?" the man asked, discreetly pointing to the string.
"That, sir, is the result of another efficiency study," the waiter replied. "When we need to go to the bathroom, we use the string to pull ourselves out and aim. Therefore, we do not have to stop to wash our hands."
"We understand how you can get yourself out and aim," the man said, "but how do you go about getting yourself back in?"
"I don't know about the other waiters, sir," the waiter replied, "but I use the two spoons"

Joe I think you are right - Marina. Named after a leaky British Leyland car of the time.

But what the oriental thunderbirds wench? I seem to recall she was connected brain-wise to some Kim -Il-Yong bad dude - a situation that kept International Rescue on their toes on many occasion.

The fast jet babes were from Captain Scarlet.... The Angels!

Comprising of Harmonie, Rapsodie, Fantasie, Melodie & Symfonie. A fine use of strings!

No mention of Blowjob though. She seems to have been airbrushed out of history. Bloody PC brigade!