It's getting hot in here: The stripped down truth

Don't give me all that - I bet you looked knockout regardless xxxx

So good to have you back Luv2.x

Deary me i chocked & spluttered my coffee as per usual.....

You brought back memories of DDs(Darling Daughter) big fake tanning bloomer a couple of years back. She looked as though she had been painted wih duluxe using a brightest orange all over other than her back which was even more funny as she was wearing a beautiful long white sliky backless dress. After the 6th shower using a buffer and squeezing fresh lemons in hope that the juice would strip the colour to something near normal she still looked as thought she had been tangoed. Bless her, if this wasn't a sex site i would post a pic but would have to attach a warning to view only with sunglasses on lol

dulux even or any other brand.

Wb Luv2! Never gone for the orange look but can naturally perfect either the "bright white, doesn't look like I've seen the sun and have been hiding in a darkened room look" or the "first sight of summer, turn scarlet like a lobster with a fever look". There is no middle ground between these 2 high fashion statements and they will fade from 1 to other with a couple of days notice....

As for the hair get it as short as possible as this not only saves times but reduces any chance of looking like a member of The Hair Bear Bunch after a heavy night out!

If a did't look like an escapee from a mental istitution i would shave my hair off, as my hair goes fuzzy & curly in the warm weather when i get hot & bothered ;-)

Lucky me i tan in the summer but normally only on front like MissG. As my boobs get in the way when i turn onto my front to toast my back.

Lobsters are tasty Joe, though nothing wrong with pale & interesting maybe stems back to the good old goth days lol

Oompa loompa doompety doo
I've got a perfect puzzle for you
Oompa loompa doompety dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me

What do you get when you try a fake tan?
You wake the next morn like the fat tango man!

I really don't get fake tan!?! I never have... It so seldom looks natural, so why bother! I much prefer natural colour, be that from a natural tan, or pale skin, if the sun isn't for you.
SSG, don't fight it, I love curly hair!

Of course everything is relative. I saw on the news it was a bracing 23 degrees at Wimbledon yesterday. Compare that with 36 degrees plus and 80% humidity in Tokyo in late July. I suspect you'd be leaving a glistening orange trail along the pavement under those conditions, so bear up - it could be worse :-)

Dear Luv2Suc, your latest epistle made me chuckle.I have to agree with the sentiments expressed by Chris ( I'm still waiting for the invitation to get naked with her and sip Tinto De Verano in the shade of a palm tree ).
Whilst it is too uncomfortable to wear clothes here in the height of summer,the more sensible ex -pats follow the example of the natives,and are careful to ration the amount of exposure to the direct rays of the sun.
So do not fret that you are wearing a fake tan,it is probably safer to do so.By the way ,do you not think that the word " Tangerine " sounds more exotic and alluring than " Orange" ? xx

I'm thinking 'pumpkin' would be more appropriate for colour and shape. Why oh why did I think it was a good idea to try to apply it to my backside? What possessed me?
Apart from the fact I almost slipped a disc or two trying to stretch behind me to put it on, it's impossible to check that you have achieved a good coverage. I now know that I didn't - if you look closely (not recommended), you can make out the shape of at least four fingers on my left cheek. Like I've been spanked by Mr Cadbury.

It's a good job I haven't got any naughty adventures lined up.

Skebbie, I'd have to find a cave to hide in with those conditions. Not sure I could cope with living, working and daily routine etc. What is the Japanese secret for keeping cool? They never look hot and sticky on TV :-)

Luv2Suc. I have no doubt that your bum would look scrumptious even if Jackson Pollock had pained a masterpiece on it.
I should have said that I was waiting to bare all with Sue, with Chris there as well,of couse.

" Painted " FFS ! ( i am in need of early morning T )

Luv2: The opposite side of the coin is that I've become acclimated to Japan over the years, so I'm always astonished at the site of blokes in the UK stripping off or walking around in shorts when it's about 18 degrees and I've got my long johns on.
It's fortunate I don't need to commute to work, so I tend to spend June till late Sept barefoot and wearing little more than a loincloth :-)

luv2........ salt spray....... spray it on hair and scrunch... beach look and no fuss.

Me if i have a fake tan have to remember to lift boobs as get white domes underneath....... but saying that fake tanned skin tastes like crap so dont tend to bother...

a maxi dress is a girls best friend in this heat :)

Well hello Ronald....long time no see, how the heck are you?xx

I imagine even sporting the " Hot in a bright glowy kind of way" that Luv2 is still as attractive as ever :-)

Bflickr, if i dont tame my curls i end up looking like a Wild Woman from Borneo or Medusa....Trust me it's not a good look on me ;-)

I always had a strange fascination with medusa hehe!

Ooo maybe i should be brave and post a pic with my hair curly sometime lol

You have to tell us now Sensual....Can't leave us all wondering now you've mentioned it ;-)

Oh go on SeneualS,you know you want to really...... we will drag it out you if we have to.x ;-)

Bet the bloomin fecker though he was hilarious. Sounds like we was a img src="imagesadultemoticons008.gif" .xx

Lol oh dear sensual I'm sorry ..... Is he now residing underneath the patio or will he just be talking with a high pitched voice for the rest of his life? ;-)

Well its about fucking time that's all I can say, some of us readers were thinking we'd been tossed aside like yesterday's dirty washing, left in a crumpled heap in the laundry basket of discontent. Build up a following and then cast them adrift, L2 you can be so cruel but we welcome you back to the blogosphere with open arms and lets say no more about it just don't do it again.

As for the weather, being someone who run's hot so to speak this weather is a real pain in the arse. The slightest hint of physical exertion and I'm wetter than an otters pocket, how did that blog go "Horses sweat Men perspire..." Men fucking sweat that's it end of story. I know, I know I'm painting such an appealing picture I don't know how you girls keep your hands off me, fanny fucking magnet or what.

Consider this combined with the other effect this weather is having on me, I'm hornier than hell, orange or not given the chance I'd fuck you to oblivion and then some. The unwanted erection is a real pain around the office and combined with the sweating I feel like Jimmy Savile at a scout camp. I've taken to keeping a box file on my desk to bash the fucking thing into submission like an x rated version of wak-a-mole.

Well it never lasts that's why in the UK we don't have siesta or many air conditioned buildings, until then we'll all just have to put up with it. Why do people refer to it as "good" weather? Weather isn't good or bad it just is.

P.S. This blogs has reminded me I need to pick up some wood stain for my new shed......doba di do!img src="imagesadultemoticons020.gif"

"orange or not given the chance I'd fuck you to oblivion and then some. "

What are you waiting for? Grab your coat and your sunglasses and hurry!

MissG "I'm wetter than an otters pocket"
That's going in my book of favourite 2014 blog quotes along with a note of Ealish's chest brows :-)


Ronald, catch this ... Mwah xx

You know you flatter me shamelessly, but I like it ;-)



BBW 'n SS are you two just trying to make me jealous with your skin tones? My self-esteem is already on the floor and you two aren't helping ;-)

I am sure after saying
"Apart from the fact I almost slipped a disc or two trying to stretch behind me to put it on, it's impossible to check that you have achieved a good coverage. I now know that I didn't - if you look closely (not recommended), you can make out the shape of at least four fingers on my left cheek. Like I've been spanked by Mr Cadbury. "
You will be inundated with offers to help you next time.
And thank you for making me laugh with your blog!

I bet it does StarGirl x I tan fairly easily, but never sunbathe. I'm always out at weekends but usually covered in jeans and wellie boots so skin hardly ever catches the sun. My face is always an odd shade to the rest of me :-0


SeanWoodRunner - good to see a new face and you're more than welcome.


Wilf - you really expect me to answer that? Gawwwd ...

I miss the Bundys. I quite fancied Peggy lol