is "hot or not" acceptable

I don't think hot or not is the same as pretty or ugly. It is simply a way of expressing an opinion as to whether an individual finds another attractive. Furthermore whilst hot or not is the title of the feature there is no option to select "not" you can say you find someone attractive (hot) or say nothing at all.

In the context of this site which is, as you say, based on a desire for human interaction in a whole range of ways that are less hidebound by societal norms (did I really just say that?) I think it is entirely appropriate. There are definitely people out there who do not find me attractive but by the same token, there are a small number who do and that is nice.

There are many many things in this world of ours that I would be glad to see changed for the better, and sometimes I have been known to give changing things a go. I am not sure that the hot or not feature on a swinging website is one of them!

I don't see any harm in it, because I don't vote every picture and never press not

Well now then! I was a little disconcerted with Gillians comment so I had another look at the layout of the site that I use (if that sounds odd they should understand that this is really a family of sites all based around a thing called the adulthub)

I have looked, checked than looked again. I even looked at the FAQs of the particular portal that I am a member of (connect4fun vintage site) and there is no "or not" option. One can say someone is hot, one can even vote as to who is hottest. But as far as I can see there is no "or not" function in my part of the forest!

Perhaps you should all join me over here!

Sure, it's a bit of fun, and yes I suppose everyone likes a bit of positive feedback every now and then, but lately I've been thinking that there's a degree of merit in keeping your counsel when it comes to certain aspects of a site such as this. If you see a person who is quite frankly hideous to your own eye, I don't think there's anything to be gained in publicly stating the fact. If you keep it to yourself, then at least no-one's feelings are dented. Likewise, individuals who are more pleasing to the eye will probably know that already, so voting on their looks will probably serve little purpose except to inflate their ego even further. (Surely even attractive women must tire of getting sycophantic compliments from every Tom, Dick and Harry they're never likely to shag - they've heard it all before.) I could even extend this to testimonials in guest books. Again, there is a degree of merit in *some* testimonials if they confirm that someone is real and actually meets from time to time. On the other hand, I'm not sure I want my sex life paraded in public: I'm not here to collect kudos and brownie points. I guess you could say I've evolved in a direction that is more circumspect and discreet.

Right help me out here! Where's this flipping button!!!