A Hearty 'n Wholesome Breakfast

I've never tried typing with my tongue planted firmly in my cheek before.

Let me tell you, it wasn't easy ;-)

Don't get me wrong Suechris, they're not all bad and I would like to put it out there that I have in fact seen some very, very nice photos, but never once have I then thought "Oh yeah ... I'm really interested. I'll see you in the carpark behind Waitrose in half an hour."

OK I get the message.

I will stop sending you the cock pics...

Oh dear Luv2, think you may have opened Pandora's box.... I know for a fact sarcasm either doesn't travel well on here or is not understood ;)

Good luck with your Coco Pops and buy yourself a season ticket for the local pay & display, it will be cheaper!

Oh deary me Luv2, you sure did make me laugh :-)

I shall confess what happend to silly me, i dropped my full piping hot coffee cup way back when i joined the site 2 years ago. Imagine poor shy me opening up my first ever mail from my inbox and BANG!! This big cock slapped me in my face (well almost)haha...

Now I have been known to peek at a few profile pics but that is due to my love and appreciation of art & photography lol ;-)

I don't bat an eyelash at some of the sights that turn up in my inbox nowadays lol ;-)

Sassy, don't be too upset that you don't get as many as I do. Perhaps I have one of those faces that screams 'I want to see your cock'. I'm completely bemused by it to be honest ...
Anyhow, I'm happy to share any gooduns. We could create our own little gallery.


DrP, oh yes, how could I forget, our Asian friends do like the cock selfie. I hear PorkyChopper is taking Urdu lessons so maybe he'd translate some of the dirty secrets for me.


Riggs. Yours are very much solicited so please don't stop sending me your daily selfie. I should also congratulate you ... your creativity is improving and Sunday's snapshot was a corker. I didn't know you could do handstands. :-0

Frisky, good idea, I'm tempted to offer my observation services in the chat room. At least then I could get some verbal instruction from the 'cock owner' about what criteria would like me to use to rate it. I'm guessing it would be on the ability of Mrs Palm and her five daughters to run a one-minute mile. What do you think?
PM me of you're interested ;-)



SAS, to answer your question about what makes a good photo (do they really use the word stellar in the states?):

BAD:
No sweaty hands, no (I mean NO!) socks, no well-worn undies and also angle is important. The shot taken from a standing position looking down is never going to achieve anything more than a hot dog bun sticking out of a hairy chest.


GOOD:
For example, where the cock is positioned in just the right way, gripped tight in one hand and stretched out from his body or where the lighting is just right or it's bulging beneath the stretched fabric of his underwear or where a lovely lady has her lips and painted nails around it ...

.,, I think I should stop there, I'm starting to sound like a perv :-)



Mmm, I think I'm now in need something more substantial than coffee today ... ;-)

Luv2Suc. As we're good friends i thought I might send you a photo of my cock which I've just had tattoed.Would you prefer the one where the word " European" can be read,or the one taken a little while later( after I had been fantasizing about you wearing nothing but high heels, a mortar board and holding a diploma) which reads " Support Nigel Farage and vote for the United Kingdom Independence Party in the forhcoming European elections " ? Or should that have read " European erections " ?img src="imagesadultemoticons008.gif"

Miss Goodnight. My friend Armitage Shanks will be devastated.He relies on the free publicity he gets from having one of his thunderboxes in the background ! xxxx

Fetch, before and after please :-)

Mac, I am glad; so very, very glad ;-)

Ladies, head-on views of One-Eyed-Bob are not that great either. At breakfast time, I'd rather have a bagel.

Handstands - ha

Has the girl never heard of photoshop?

And talking of cock tattoos I want "LUDO" on mine done so that when really erect it reads

"Welcome to Landudno - Please Drive Carefully"

Riggs, would there be enough room for Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch?
Tiddlywinks anyone?


Gilli, "I'd like to meet the man who'd be brave enough to have that tattooed there"
Have you been introduced to Wilf? :-)


Wilf, the only problem with HS2 would be the reduced people watching time. Otherwise, I'm a great fan of most things high speed.

It occurred to me today that there seems to be a number of men on here (mostly young - perhaps) who appear to be a little obsessed with their cocks. So much so, they just have to show it off at every opportunity and this includes sending pics of it.

Yet us girls don't seem to be so bothered about our girlie bits and pieces. They're functional ... ya know, there's no need for us to walk about having a feel to check it's still there or discuss how big or small we are. Also, I'm betting fewer women send unsolicited pics of their bits to men.

Why is this? Why would a guy want to send a photo of his cock to a complete stranger?

Are cocks better? Are these guys aware that actually, most of us girls already know what they look like?

Seen one, seen them all (actually, that's not true because some are just downright gruesome and resemble something my new puppy digs up in the garden.

Sound's like some form of cock rating system is required but should this be a British Standard or are we to adopt European legislation that's the question. Do we want British women to determine what's a good British cock or are we going to let those cocks in Brussels dick-tate to us. I for one don't want my cock classed as substandard for having too much bend or not enough girth. Solidarity brothers let's fight the good fight and make sure our cock's never loose their British identity.

Lets make sure BS6969 - "Stress grading of Love length's for use in strenuous physical activity" is adopted as the one true standard by which a British Gentleman's excuse me is graded.

Further more I urge you all to join ukip for who better to fight for cock right's than a total bunch of cock's?

I thank you.

Luv2 slugs are dangerouspoisonous to poor puppy as are they to my eyesight lol

Message to all Ladies:

Are you fed up being duped by men who tell you they have a lovely cock waiting for you?

Are you confused by the definitions commonly use do describe attributes of the luvpump?

It's the twenty first century and it's about time us girls took our destiny into our own hands.

Is it time we developed our own accepted standard for what constitutes a 'nice cock'?

It may be tricky due to the fact that tastes are so diverse so we need to use criteria that is objective and non-discriminatory.

What do you think? Shall we give it a go?

One of the (many) things I get up to is the fabrication of no-longer available components for exotic machinery. Modern technology means I can use a 3d laser scanner to produce a digital file that I can fire around the net for production on a 3d printer or similar CAD machine.

So it seems to me that those who are really serious about e-cocks should invest in the technology required to scan and send digital maps of their choppers to willing recipients.

Clearly my plan is a teensy bit flawed as you ladies will have to have kitchenssunroomsbedrooms (or wherever it is that you nominate to be the - er - receiving end of the system) in which to install the necessary equipment to decipher and produce the real (well replica) thing for your consideration and approval (and maybe even a little product testing if you are so inclined)

Or you could subcontract the work to your local high tech machine shop. Not quite so handy I know but at least it keeps British jobs and it will give the lads on the shop floor a laugh (or maybe see them reaching for a funtime guide to getting things bigger).

But look - they said the world wide web was a daft idea and yet here we all are.

There we go. Another of Riggers Gifts To Humanity.

Gillibean, The Bic scale! Pure genius!

The girth could be measured in 'bundles of Bic' with the acronym of,

B ic
U nified
L ong
L ength

C ock
R eassurance
A nd
P roof

Mac I think e-cocks could be the biggest consumer product since the ipod. Can't wait to see your presentation on Dragon's Den. I'm thinking Deborah Meaden and Kelly Hoppen will both be eager to get something on with e-cock's, they'll definitely both be all over e-cock's. Better still double ended e-cock's.

I think MissGoodnight would be up for helping you do the presentation, she could do the wavy finger clicky thing. I fucking love the wavy finger clicky thing.

As for the bic scale, sounds like it's aiming a little high for me can we use those little pens from argos instead?

Ok, before I get round to Gilli's Bic Scale (awesome idea) and the e-cock thingies, I'd like to have it on blog record that today I received the most amazing cock photo.

A regular blogger and fwend sent a priceless pic of his willy tattooed with my username. Gilli, it 'well passed' the Bic Test if ya know what I mean (wink wink).
After a long and crap day this made me really chuckle. You have a wonderful sense of humour.
Thank you xxx

Gingered ... did you catch that show of hands? :-)

Don't know about you, but I find the thought of 'big jumbo pencil' sized a bit scary. Not bad to look at, but that's about it as far as I'm concerned.

I have been working on the iKok (see what I did there?) during the quiet bits of today and dragons den notwithstanding I think I am on to something.

Handy, multifunctional and pleasing to have and hold, it could spawn a range of accessories from jewelled carry cases to torches.

A range of apps (called Kokapps)would be available too, one I am particularly proud of would be the ability to use the iKok as a mobile phone (I call it the dick-to-phone)

I would encourage celebrities to nt only endorse the product but also to - er - model for limited edition iKoks, each one a life-sized replica of the male celebrity's todger. My guess is that ladies would be proud to have a Clooney iKok in their handbag whilst I can see the more outdoorsy types clamouring for a Grylls iKok (which, whilst rather on the small size comes complete with a variety of handy implements and attachments.

Men of course will want a MiKok, based on their own trouser snake. What better way of breaking the ice in decent wine bars than nonchalantly popping your Audi keys and MiKok on the bar and asking for a Moscow Mule with two olives?

Yep. Definitely been a quiet day in riggerland. But I am on the verge of something big here - I can feel it.

I hope you are considering having Siri on the iKok too. Oh, the thought of just pressing a button, giving a verbal command and woooo Bob's your uncle.

"Ooo whats that next to your Audi keys"

"That's my iKok"

"iKok my arse...."

Mmm good point Luv2. Best I check my public liability insurance..........

Miss Goodnight you can wavy clicky fingers thing me anytime, oooohh I've gone all weak at the knees!

I'm liking the ikok idea. The Bear Grylls one sounds like a real monster, something you could knock nails in with whilst simultaneously chatting on the phone. If it had GPS built in women could geotag their orgasms and plot them on google earth and with a accelerometer included too they could even chart how earth moving they were. "Oh look I had a 5.6 in Sainsbury's car park"

Nooooo the Grylls one would be a natty little number just like Edward himself - like a swiss army knife in fact. Damm handy for getting boy scouts out of horses hooves that sort of thing.

But here's the exciting thing. For once size would not be better (well sort of anyway) because who wants to try to stick something the size of a rounders bat into your fave Prada bag? Instead the choice would be for something more modest, yet still satisfying.

Time to work on some apps methinks..

You know rigger, it's such a bizarre idea, yet I really could see it happening!!!! Go on fella, get the drawing board out and fire up the furnace!

Re the Bic scale. Perhaps this should be avoided as there is bound to be the odd moron who gets it wrong and thinks it relates to disposable razors. Cock measuring and plastic flimsy wet razors are not natural combinations. Has anyone written up the risk assessment?