Things Behind The Sun

Like you, Joe, I am open and honest about who I am, maybe to a fault. I find I can't lie, period, even to strangers behind a screen. It just isn't me. The best I can do is refrain from saying something.

Is this good or bad? Depends on who you (generic you, here) open up to, I guess, as it hurts when you share and then get brushed aside for whatever reason.

Still, I can't help saying what's on my mind, for better or for worse. If it's happening in my head, you'll most likely hear about it.

And I hope others are the same with me; I don't like "mysterious" strangers who reveal nothing of who they are.

I guess exhibitionist describes me pretty well.

PS--how do you put up mental road blocks? Have never been able to figure that one out.

There is a very big difference between telling a lie or being deceitful and simply keeping the stuff that is important to you to yourself.

I happen to think that the latter has to be the default setting until one really gets to know and trust someone - and even then some things are best left unsaid.

Open and honest - yes, always. But at the same time there should be a degree of care.

Right. Who wants to know about my swarfega fetish?

I think that being a member of an internet sex site creates a dilemma if you’ve got a job and a family. I’ve got a job, which I love and I also have a family, who would probably prefer not to read about my 'dirty little secret' online or learn about it from someone else. For these reasons, my privacy is an absolute necessity.

So although some may well think they know me or be able to find out who I am (internet nerds are generally pretty good at this), think again ... you really have no idea. This doesn't mean I am dishonest; it simply means that what I tell you about myself will be limited. This is my 'secret' and I'd like to keep it that way therefore I am very, very, very selective about who I open up to and as Riggs says, even then some things are best left unsaid.

If you’re a member of my immediate family (Hi, Mum!) know only that every single thing I say here is a lie: The activities I describe in my blogs are a figment of my imagination, I have never enjoyed sex and have very little understanding of the mechanics behind it.


I imagine many of you are in the same boat.

As anyone who has privately PMed me will testify, I'm totally open about myself. To be anything other than myself takes too much effort and besides being misleading or obtuse creates a house of cards that gets more unstable as correspondence progresses. Another thing is that I want people to like me for being who I am. I'd get no fulfillment from someone who is attracted to a version of me that has all the cracks plastered over.

So it looks like most of us are pretty open. Perhaps some of us are too open and unfortunately this come backs to bite you. But Riggs and Luv2 hit the nail on the head about there being a difference between being dishonest and just not telling others everything. Maybe this is the best option? Time will tell....

Is there anyone out there who doesn't open up at all or prefers not to know anything?

Joe: I'm told that sex with a total stranger is one of the most exciting things a person can experience, but I suspect that tends to happen more in the real world (i.e. spontaneously) than via a site like this. Not knowing anything about a person would probably not be a safe formula for meeting anyone from a sex site.

There are some very interesting comments here.For my part ,I initially found that my disclosing my upbringing and background to all and sundry,had the effect of setting me apart in some people's minds.In fact, being honest and sincere with one person in particular,back-fired very badly on me and I found myself standing accused of misdemeanors, which were totally a figment of this persons somewhat jaundiced imagination.I cannot deny that this hurt and so I tend to a degree, to hide behind a facade of being an amiable ( I hope ) buffoon.
This is not a problem to me since it keeps those who don't matter at arms length. I am glad to say however,that those on here who are important to me ( and there are quite a few ), know full well that this persona is a front and that I am not a bumbling half-wit .I trust these people implicitly and have been happy to reveal my true self to them in the knowledge that they are sincere friends.
I now return to my self-appointed role of Village Idiot!img src="imagesadultemoticons021.gif"

Call my cynical (I don't care), but I'm guessing it's safe to assume that a high percentage of profiles here are bogus. There are people collecting 'research' for all sorts of reasons (mental masturbation, university, writing books, making adult movies etc). Anyone who believes differently is delusional in my humble opinion.

Once again, It's horses for courses. We all have different motivations and different personal circumstances. I dare say that if I was a single, jobless woman with no family to worry about, I would be less cautious about who I trust (perhaps).

Trust: Funny little word that has only been mentioned two or three times so far. Am I going to trust any old Tom, Dick or Harry with information about my self? No way! It is right for me to be cautious about who I trust and what information I trust them with. I make no apologies for this.

Let me tell you, it takes a lot for me to trust someone with personal information about myself. What I can't tell you is how I know who to trust because the answer would be, I don't, until they prove it. I'm a great believer in doing my homework and listening to my gut feeling. It hasn't let me down so far.

Agree that spontaneity and sex with a stranger is probably more likely outside of the site skebbie. A drunken 1 night stand is probably the obvious example. Although I'm sure it happens on here as well. Look at all the requests in chat for spontaneous meets. They must always be successful, aren't they???

Maybe its just wishful thinking on my part or just naivety that getting to know others is part of the process. So far that trust has not been broken which probably says far more about the people I've got to know than myself :)

Oi Miss Cynical I can't believe you're suggesting that not everyone on here is as they appear ;)

But as Fetch states surely we all have a few select people on here that we chat to more than others. People who we really get to know, really understand us and we really can and do trust. I'm open to virtually everyone I talk to but very open to those few. I feel it would be a shame if this wasn't true in most people's experiences on here. This only happens with time and that trust builds with it... Not something that could or should be rushed.

Maybe even this would be considered a non starter for some members?

Amongst the many to whom I would vouchsafe my most inner secrets ,I list a few for your consideration.
A delightful and lovely lady ,notwithstanding her unusual obsession with a coffee machine, to the extent of giving it a pet name !
A lady who likes to splash green paint on herself and uses a funny German surname !
Someone who is better at algebra than I and who would whisper simultaneous equations in my ear during moments of intimacy.
A lady who satisfies my interest in Greek mythology.
Someone,probably called Myfanwy or Blodwen ,who sends me pictures of her very attractive boobs then coyly suggests it was a mistake !
A Scouser who understands my frailties and whom I would trust my life with...and she wouldn't steal my hub caps either !
A lady resident in Spain who happily displays her assets,unfailingly gives my diatribes a " like" and from whom I am still awaiting an invitation to visit !
There are many others of course, but I suspect a few of the blog contributers might recognize themselves. I hope so !

Great stuff folks - yet again the blog bar is raised. A further thought did occur to me as I read through. There are many times in life when I regret asking the question "how are you" on account of the fact that it is seen by the other party as a question not simply part of the greeting ritual (no one here I hasten to add). I am then treated (and I use that word advisedly) to a lengthy diatribe about either how brilliantly little Sebastian* is doing at St Bedes or else a catalogue of personal issues that make your toes curl.

Every day I discover new things, and sometimes those new things are about people I have known for donkeys years. Equally I have been obliged to interface with all sorts from world leaders to war criminals, and in those circumstances any exchange of niceties has simply been enough to satisfy the needs of the moment. So in my humble opinion there is something to be said for the less is more approach. I can chat for hours and yet retain all the anonymity I need (although to be fair I have had an exceptionally quiet and boring life) or I can say virtually nowt and yet give it all away. The key for me is to know which is which and retain the choice for me to make.

As for the complete "zipless fuck" on the basis of a few paltry cyber exchanges all I will say is keep the faith folks - it happens and its great!!

Right wheres that fecking plumber....???

Oh ! and I forgot to mention that I believe totally in fairies who buy me Airfix kits of model Spitfires.
What a glittering life I lead !
xx

I've never been one to talk about emotions or feelings at the best of times, let alone when it's words on a screen.

It's easier (i find) to talk to someone you've actually met, as one can be reasonably sure they're similar to who they say they are!

I'm very very wary if saying things that could hint who I actually am...or much about myself other than the obvious, but I'm not hugely trusting of the world in general.

Sassy & co please note my comment about spontaneous meets in the chat room contained a humungous dose of sarcasm! You lot should know me by now ;)

I will have to try harder to get that security clearance lishy ..... One day I might be lucky if I keep trying.....

As for having someone you can trust and talk with about problems, dilemmas & issues.... Anyone who has that should be very flattered and extremely thankful!!!!

Fetch, I'm much better with my alphabet without numbers in it. Or should that be numbers with out letters? Either way, X will always mark the spot and you will always have the X factor. To infinity and beyond!
Mwah x


Riggs, you are naughty. You know that the phrase 'zipless fuck' sounds much worse than it is. Google Erica Jong(?)
You do not have a fear of flying :-)


Joe, sarcastic? Never!

That fear of flying was one of the wankest books I've ever had the misfortune of trying to read...made catch 22 seem good in comparison

Zook, I'll read anything (well, almost) and the wankier the better. To be fair, Jong isn't exactly a typical 'man's read' so I can understand you not liking it, but what the heck's wrong with Catch 22?



Note to self: Check to see if wankier and wankest are real words. I like them ;-)

Luv2Suc Wankimost perhaps, rolls easier off the tongue,do you think ?

Joe, late coming to the party as usual! Good blog topic, and fills my head with all sorts of thoughts.

Great comments from everyone, and I think that most of the regular bloggers on here are decent, honest and open people, that thrown in a room together would have a great old time, with a fair modicum of trust and respect for each other.

However, For me personally, the question isn't so much as what one is prepared to show or reveal, or how honest the other members are, it's more about why we are all on here in the first place! How many of us are genuinely being open about what we want?

Do we all want copious amounts of sex without any consequences, or is it that we are looking for that one special individual to enter into a, dare I say, 'normal' one on one caring loving relationship with?

If it's the latter then yes, of course there has to be a vast, if not total reveal of one's soul, past life, warts n all, and there is a great deal of pain caused if the other party involved is less than honest in return, but isn't that life? Period!

If on the other hand one is looking for, 'I won't say meaningless sex' but a none committed relationship. Is it really that important if there is a chequered past, or they don't quite tick all the boxes in being honest and open with you?

I'm very much a heart on sleeve man, and will answer any question that's asked of me, without hesitation. I have no skeletons that I've not dealt with, or in the process of dealing with personally, but I tend to find that most of the time it's better to keep them to myself to avoid being judged, and conversely not to know too much about the other party to quickly to save being judgmental about them.

For me the time is right now, who you were, and what is in your past is just that, in your past!

I would like to find that, 'one' that individual that makes me feel glad to be alive, and that I could happily spend the rest of my life with, but I know along the way I'm going to meet some, less than honest individuals, but if I'm not looking to settle down with them, and live happily ever after, does it really matter?

Much love to you all MYS.

MYS, some good points there.


StarGirl, I like your thinking. There are more:
Shag, shagger, shaggier, shaggiest, shaggest and Fetch's version, shagimost. Not sure of the definitions yet, but we could work on that.
Maybe Skebbie could use them for his Urban Dickshonary
(See what I did there?). I'm so childish ...

StarG I'm glad you have tried both ways and even happier that the trust you invested in someone has paid off. I can't imagine not trusting someone and will always think the best of people until it is proved otherwise, which I hope it never will be.

Certainly doesn't matter at all MYS. Was just curious about everyone else's approach to things. Whatever makes you happy is all that matters in life. Finding that person you can trust is just the cherry on top of the icing on top of a massive cake!

Wankiest isn't in the Oxford Dictionary Luv2 so no using it in your next Scrabble meeting... but if your Scrabble nights are more exciting it is in the Urban Dictionary ;)

Good to see you Lilith. Was only thinking about you yesterday :-)

Welcome back Lilith ... Missed your cups of tea :)

Lilith! Ello, img src="imagesadultemoticons001.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons001.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons001.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons001.gif"

I will Gatecrash your party as a latecomer Joe(sorry for my late arrival but i've brought a lovely bottle of malt ;-))

I tend to take my time and don't disclose too much detail other than to a couple of people who i comunicate with on a somewhat regular basis, people who dare i say i feel comfortable sharing almost my all ;-)

As for fakers, Hmm having been on this site for a couple of years i have seen many fakes who tend not to stick around as Skebbie said they can only keep the pretencelie going for so long before the mask slips and they are caught out.

Good blog topic Joe.x

So did I. Where have you been hiding?

I wasam just such a quiet shy sole ;-)

Honestly, i just didn't have confidence nor had i found a platform to let my voice (although via written words) be heard by the masses till the day i stumbled onto the blogs a few months back. Now i bet sometimes you's wish you gag me lol :-)

Quiet Soul even lol, Hic hic hic oft must be the single malt i brought to the party (^.^)

awh thanks SS.x I'm ALWAYS honest, best way to be....I think anyway.

Thanks SunShine .... Better late than never and the single malt always helps ;)

Taking your time to get to know people is always the best option and usually pays off in the end... At least that's what I've found.

Glad you discovered the blogs as well. Like others I didn't realise you had been a member so long but now always look forward to your blogs and comments as much as the rest of this motley crew ;)))

Aw shucks Joe(blushing) you are too kind as alwasy ;-)

I discovered the blogs just when i was about to delete my profile and leave the site, so it was obviously just ment to be, for this old timer to stick around at least for a wee while longer.

"Motley Crew" i alwasy think of them as a rather Canny lot :-)

Joe, this is the shaggiest* blog EVER!!

*definition to be confirmed

:-)

runs round looking for a Scooby snack.........

Hi Lilith. Hope you had more luck with the Barbie house than I am having with mine.

Fecking absentee plumber.....

runs round looking for a Scooby snack.........

Hi Lilith. Hope you had more luck with the Barbie house than I am having with mine.

Fecking absentee plumber.....

Oh and according to Gardeners World Monty is having trouble with blight in his box.

Oh and according to Gardeners World Monty is having trouble with blight in his box.

Luv2 until the definition is confirmed I shall take that as a compliment ;)

Joe, of course it was meant to be a compliment, duh. The point is (I think), with the urban Dictionary, lots of different people post their own definition.
Shaggiest could be the new flippin' marvellous. :-)


Monty has blight in his box. I didn't have time to watch TV today, was busy shopping. Now making voodoo dolls ... Now where's those pins?

In that case Luv2 anything that is ever said about my blogs will always be taken as a compliment. My blog so therefore my defintion!! lol

Ow! Sure I just felt a sharp stabbing pain ?!?!

Luv2, SHAGGIEST!

S harp.
H appening.
A ce.
G oddam.
G reat.
I ce.
E pic.
S ick.
T ops.

MYS

What about:


Stay
Happy
And
Get
Guys
Involved in
Erotic
Sexy
Times

Luv2, very clever! Yes please! img src="imagesadultemoticons001.gif"

Luv2Suc .My brain hurts too much to indulge in acrostics at this stage........ Perhaps when I get out of therapy and feel a little better xxxxxxximg src="imagesadultemoticons005.gif"

U r asking good questions and its difficult to give the right answer. Many people here r asking for pics straight away! The problem is that friends of mine (couple) have send out a few pics of them to someone and this person then has used it to pass it on all over Internet for his own purpose therefor I'm quite aware now before I send out pics of myself specially cause of my job I have to be descreet so I always suggest to meet people first for a quick drink and chat and then see what we think of each other but most people don't understand and without a pics no1 wants to meet!!! So I find it difficult myself to advice u what could be the right thing to do and how much information to pass on...
All I can hope is that u meet nice and genuine people unlike it happened to the couple I know!
All the best

Fetch: "Luv2Suc .My brain hurts too much to indulge in acrostics at this stage"


Yes, I know and here I am on a sex site playing word games. Says it all ...