Has the Internet been better for relationships?

Yes, the opportunites to meet new people are much more diverse.

But with the anonymity of e-personalities, it is also very easy to be "someone else" too?

Welcome to the Blogs Paul. I thought you would find your way here eventually ;-)

I think the internet has opened up a whole new world of possibilities when it comes to relationshipsdating or hook ups. Although i have to agree with Frisky i don't think it has made it too easy as you still have to form and build up communication. Paying special attention to make sure the person is who and what they claim to be over a period of time before meeting face to face for the first time.

But i suppose it is easier to start communicating via a site like this if you are lucky enough to find someone you click with. Then progress to E mail then onto phone chat.

Night clubsDiscos were never really conducive to holding a conversation due to the sheer volume of the music and the sound from people enjoying a lively night out.

For me the first moment of face to face contact, when meeting anyone for the first time could change my thoughts on how the night will play out. As no matter how many mails or however often you chat the final question will not be answered till i meet them. Only then could we both be 100% sure if we feel a spark when we look each other in the eyes.

This is a good blog subject. Thanks for posting.

Personally, I'm really glad that "internet dating" sites evolved before I became too decrepit to enjoy them. My middle age has been really fruitful and rewarding as a result. When I was in my teens and 20s I was absolutely hopeless at approaching women. I don't think I was bad looking - just pathologically shy. Also I used to hate that "disco cattle market" way of meeting people: having to stand up and jiggle just in order to meet people seemed to me totally ridiculous, and having a conversation in tones anything lower than a shouting match was practically impossible. House parties were a better environment for me: or scavenging the retinue of female hangers on who were attracted to my rugby-playing pals :-)

The internet could almost have been purpose-designed for the likes of me, and I've made full use of it. I'm aware I'm reaching the end of my "shelf-life" on here now, though, and probably will pull the plug at some point after I've accrued a handful of good lady friends who I know I'll always get on with.

Hi Paul, always good to see a new face (or avatar) on the blogs.
In answer to your question: Whether it's better or not depends on the type of internet site being used, what you are looking for (your expectations) and what your personal circumstances are.
My own view is that this is lots of fun, but no serious place to be if you are looking for a long-term and meaningful 'relationship'. (Just my opinion)


It's horses for courses.

Ron: You old smoothie, you :-) But that's what I call using your head.
Trouble was that the "leftovers" were either "I don't fancy yours" material, or the really good looking ones who were as fastidious as hell and wouldn't let me come within a barge-pole's length :-)

Ronald, that made me laugh. When I was younger (much younger) and regularly went clubbing, I never, EVER did that last dance 'thing' (we called them slowies). It was always a good excuse to nip to the ladies or go get in the front of the taxi queue.

I wonder if there is a 'last dance equivalent' in the chat room. Does it ever get quiet enough in there late at night or early hours? What would cyber slowies look like?

GDU: Sometimes I think the only way to survive on a site like this is to assume that *everyone* is a lyin' cheatin' arsehole :-)

Well I for one am glad I am no longer hidebound by the discobarclub scrimmage. In my case though I was usually in a hyena-like pack of ruthless scavengers hell bent on getting laid. Generally speaking the pack were fit, arrogantly confident and (in relative terms) had money to burn.

It was not pretty, and looking back I blush inwardly.

I am still keen on a decent location for a bit of social intercourse, but the interweb has added a dimension hitherto missing, the ability to have a conversation in a corner and be overheard across the land.

That said, Smolenskys anyone?

This is all a lot easier than having to get dressed up, be 'up all night to get lucky', spend a fortune on nasty drinks, suffer the hangovers etc etc.

But like some have said, it was usually pretty obvious who somebody was, rather than what they claim to be (26 yr old hotties who keep hotlisting me, I'm looking at you here!).

DrZ: Tell me about it :-) I think those types of "hottie" profile are a feature of every such site, and their true purpose is anyone's guess. Having said that - one of them turned out to be genuine for me last year, so I'm a little less reluctant to dismiss them out of hand now :-)

Famine: As de facto "discos" have been around for centuries, now and again in moments of whimsy, I conjure up an image of Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley being suddenly teleported to a contemporary dance setting: (I'll leave you to decide who is the foot-tapper and who is the chancer.....)

"I say Darcy - I don't fancy yours!"

"I concede she has a veritably prodigious rump, but I hear she plays the clavichord like an angel."

"The shy little thing in the corner: she appears comely enough. Would you not care to arsk her?"

"She is tolerable, I suppose, but not slutty enough to tempt me."

"Good heavens, man ! I would not be as fastidious as you for a kingdom. The assembly rooms are chock full of jolly decent skirt this evening."

"Look here, Bingley.....if you are indeed in earnest about a tumble tonight, I suggest you present your dance card to Miss Lucas, who I hear has been very accommodating to the regiment stationed nearby."

"It grieves me to say, Darcy, that rumours are rife the little wench is pox'd. Quite ruined it seems. Besides, she's only be worth a mere thousand a year at most."

No doubt other similar juxtapositions would work too - maybe a medieval one, or a Roman Empire one (?) :-)

GDU: Yes it made me hallucinate instead of giving Dixon a stiffy :-)

BBlish: In my book, men don't have a monopoly on being lyin' cheatin' arseholes. But on sites like this I prefer to think of us all as simply "going with the flow" rather than transgressing certain moral codes. I think you just have do adopt a philosophical approach to "mingling" on this site :-)

GDU: "BTW: Miss Lucas was a paragon of virtue"

Oh gawd......it *was* meant to be fiction (haha.....). The image of Miss Lucas as a rampant slapper did tickle me somewhat :-)

I always detested nightclubs and never felt at ease or relaxed in them. You would spend several hours buying crap expensive drinks and if you were lucky enough to find someone you liked you would spend another couple of hours shouting at them over the sound of cheesy dance music. Then just when you thought it might be your night and the last, slow song came on the object of your affection would dissapear..... Was it you Luv2? At which point all you would be left with was a greasy kebab and a depressing cab ride home.

Online gives you the opportunity to really get to know someone at your own pace. You can see them, hear them and even search for similar souls as yourself. Yes there are fakes here but there were just as many in clubs and at least online you can take your time, ask questions and get a real sense of a person. Also as a bloke who always tended to be the quiet one of the group finally I feel my voice can be heard and not drowned out by blokes saying anything just to conquer their next partner victim.....

Good blog Paul, welcome to the madhouse!

Yes gdu I really was!!

Joe: Looks like I'm not alone in having found the right medium for "getting to know people at one's own pace". Nice post.

As my last vestiges of shyness are that I cannot look someone in the eye and think at the same time, at least not initially, I say thank god for being able to communicate in the media I feel most comfortable in, writing.

Also, as the self proclaimed "fat girl who was ugly beyond compare" I like the fact that someone has to actually get to know who I am before I decide if they can see me.

So: internet wins by far.

As far as BBW's comment goes, re: lying cheating arseholes.....this was discussed in the hot tub this afternoon, but--new blog topic?

Famine....I'm with Joe on this one.

Famine: sorry, i am also with Joe on this.

Joe: Very well put :-)

Lol Famine .... You don't know what you missed? Those kebabs were gorgeous!

Good work fella lol :)

Wow.. this really took off.. Thanks for all your comments.

I posted it as more of a devils' advocate.. rather than having an opinion at the moment.

I see that there are strongly held views on both sides. And that the true situation lies somewhere between....

Both social situations have their good and bad points.. I guess its all down to what you want our of them.

Yes?

Couldn't take offence Famine difference of opinion is what blogs are made of. They'd be bloody boring if everyone agreed on them. You enjoyed clubs where I prefered Smokey music venues with sticky carpets and left you with ringing ears for days after.... Still ended up with that kebab most times though. Probably why I get on so well in the online world, being able to hear and be heard.

It was an original and interesting blog for a first attempt Paul. Your next ones got a lot to live up to now lol.

Hmmm.. yes... large girl-groups are always a bit intimidating. (And no that wasnt a dig at the spice girls!)

You would need a lot of Dutch courage to chat up one in a large group.

Oh my! Talk about in your face! x

Back in my good old (Pints of Red Witch) drinking Goth days I used to frequent places that as Joe said had sticky carpets full of probably all the types who would not have been socially excepted in "night clubsdiscos" that only played boom-boom samey music.

Oh my how my taste has changed over the years and not just in music may i add. Although i do still listen to my "old" music every so often.

I settled down at twenty and a social life became a thing of the past till a couple of years ago. But i don't have the time or the inclination to go to clubsdiscos besides the fact that i am a bit too old now lol
So i suppose the internet is more befitting to my needs ;-)

I'm not sure from your rose tinted reminiscences whether that was better than now... Or not. ;)

It's borderline

i think it has been great for us as a couple
We have been able to contact lots of other swingers and we have never had so much sex and pkeasure
Julie has an insatiabke appetite for sex and i cant fulfil her some of the time but we have had a couoke of guys we met on line come roind and service her all night
They have now become good friends and we all went on holiday in early january and jukie was never without a man in her somewhere
We are so confident in these 2 guys thay we dont bother with condoms any more we just kove pkleasuring julie

It does seem that if enough messages are exchanged, and that people get a good idea of each others' wishes, needs and wants, that the medium of the internet can be very satisfying.

U txtn?

U axn?

I axn

I txtn OK

Doesn't have the same ring to it for me...

SOME of us are able to text in full words AND sentences.....