Inconsequential blog : "I don't mind the golfers being boring but do they have to wear those fucking

So....to start the ball rolling, I'm happy and confident to state that no-one will ever get me to wear a baseball cap (either standard or - worse still - reversed), a polo shirt (of any colour or brand), or a T-shirt with a stupid slogan on it in large letters (unless very drunk at a party with a group of very close friends). Things that are on the cusp would be a suit or any form of uniform (but maybe OK at a fancy dress party or funeral). Perhaps we can cover the rationale later. In the meantime, over to you............

A Christmas jumper of any description. Beige slacks. Socks and sandals. Boots without steel toecaps.

Just to start with!

Thanks lads. Shan't inquire further about the rationale just yet, but I'm sure this will get more heated :-)

Would never be caught dead in leggings and a short shirt.

I took onsies, tracksuits, and other such 'garments' as red in my list of not-ways, but seeing as they've been mentioned, no I won't be wearing them!

I can also add any baseball cap that doesn't come free with heavy machinery.

I've got a onsie and I can't wait to get home and put it on along with my matching slippers.
Clearly that makes me chavalicious.

Skebbie that's quite a list you have. I think you'd look fine in a tee-shirt with " **** cruising for a bruising " in large print. :-)

Thanks girlsboys. I stayed up late over a few drinks to relish your comments, and I wasn't disappointed. One thing, though: this is all about *you* and what *you* wouldn't wear (helpful hint - and besides those in charge of blogs must crack the whip, right? ;-)

I must agree about male jewelry esp. necklacesgold chains or whatever. I freely admit I used to be a hippie and wore "things on thongs" around my neck, but these days I try to draw as little attention as possible to my neck regions: I guess it's an age thing. As I've probably hinted before too, there's no way I'd ever get a tat or piercing, but I guess that is a personal thing and besides - does it count as something that is "worn" ??

What I'm really trying to get at here is the personal psychology of clothing dislikes. To give an example, I hate wearing suits and uniforms because I've always had an allergyaversion to uniformityconformity (as well as the fact that the above items are bloody uncomfortable - at least to me).

Ron: Yes I do wear black a lot (see profile pic). I'm not a goth but yes I suppose it's a bit of a cop-out choice. On the other hand it's a popular choice here in Japan so I suppose I've been influenced.

But while we're on the subject of colours, I tend to avoid brown, red and green in favour of black, grey and blue (of various shades). On the other hand I'm cool about the former set of colours for interior decor. I'm sure a psychoanalyst could get to grips with that.

PS: xboofx - feel free to take as much room as you want, providing it's about yourself :-)

Slippers - It's an age thing
Sandals - with or without socks
Tracksuit trousers - in public
Jewellery - except a watch
Cardigans - why?
Trainers - except adidas sambas
Anything golf related!
Lycra - just no!
Onesies - no explanation needed
Jeans hanging around your knees - criminal offence
Baseball hats....
Cords - unforgivable

End of part one.......

There's nothing I wouldn't be seen dead in. I wouldn't give a bugger if I was dead, would I?

No doubt my loved ones would choose something appropriate that reflects my 'don't take myself too seriously' personality and that may well include a leopard skin onesie, jodhpur leggings, Blue Jays cap and my favoured Rolling Stones tee-shirt and let's not forget the wellies.

Hmmm....yes come to mention it "cardigans" are another big no-no for me (thanks Joe). I think it's because I'm middle-aged and can't yet bear to make that transition to the "grandad" look.

I think an underlying theme among your choices above is trying your best to avoid looking like a chav :-) Which of course is perfectly understandable.

I freely admit I'm not an imaginative dresser, but what I choose suits me and I feel comfortable in it. I suppose because I've been self-employed and lived in the countryside for such a long time, I've never had to "dress up" for work. Another thing is that in Tokyo, restaurants and hotels tend not to be snotty about dress codes, which is fine as far as I'm concerned.

Oh....I never wear a watch :-) It's partly because they always go wrong within a month or two. But also I've never been able to understand why some guys go crazy about branded watches. Do they think a woman is more likely to shag them if they're wearing a Rolex? :-) I'd be grateful if someone could explain the mystique to me. Going back to my "joys of spam" blog, one ever-repeating little chestnut in my in-tray is "Rolex replicas". In my book there's only one thing worse than wearing a Rolex: it's wearing a Rolex replica :-)

Re: Tutus - I recently saw a documentary about a fat guy who is now famous for having himself photographed wearing a pink tutu in all manner of unlikely places around the world. Must admit his pics are rather striking artistically, perhaps because of their sheer incongruity :-)

MsG: oh dear, hell has no fury like a woman scorned, is that not so "Debbie" lol ;-)

I have to wear business clothes all week long so i deffo don't want to be seen dead in a suit when my time comes.

On ocassion when i have to pop into court in gown i have been known to sneak on some rather naughty underwear. Hmm just my way of sticking my finger up to the establishment.

I have alwasy been a little bit of a rebel, must stem back to my years of being a Goth, where my love of black clothes also stems from.

Although i must admit i love the colour Yellow. I alwasy smile when i see anything yellow and no i can't explain why, it just has that effect on me lol ;-)

Hang on guys! Let me see if I've got this right!

From all of your previous blog comments it would appear that you are saying that my, white socks and camouflage print sandals, powder blue shell suit bottoms, and my leopard skin pants.

My 'I'm with stupid' tee shirt and my hand knitted reindeer Christmas cardigan. My goatee and pigtail (with a small bow). Mirrored aviator sunglasses and baseball cap complete with a beer can either side is 'NOT' a good look!!!!!!!!

Next you'll be telling me my 'love and hate' knuckle tattoos and the tear drop tattoo under my left eye aren't fashionable either!

Dam you all to hell, I've got style me!!!!!



img src="imagesadultemoticons026.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons026.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons026.gif"

Ron: Totally agree about avoiding patterns and stripes - the only exception being my clan tartan scarf (and even *that* doesn't get an airing very often).

Back in my 30s I actually used to wear lumberjack shirts (shock - horror !!), but I wince with embarrassment now whenever I see old photos. In my 20s I used to wear purple nylon Y-fronts because I actually thought it would improve my bedroom mystique. Clearly one's choice of clothes, and those one chooses to avoid, evolve throughout life. Maybe in 20 years time I'll think cardigans and cravats are cool :-)

SAS: Each to his own, mate :-) I've just got it in for watches - one of my personal crusades :-) The fact that Roger Federer wears a Rolex is hardly likely to tempt me to shell out a bloody fortune so I can emulate him in my little universe. One of the things that amuses me about many profile media is that some guys evidently keep their watches on for sex. Either they think that having a branded watch distracts attention away their hideous tats and beer bellies, or they have a pathological need to keep track of the time, even when in mid orgasm :-)

MsG: Aye it's grim oop north. Ah wear them kulers t'hide all t'grime from t'gasworks that settles on mer joomper and keks.

Ektually....I couldn't *possibly* wear a bright floral dress dahling, because the smuts would leave howibble unsightly smadges :-)

Hope you are not disappearing totally, and will stick around to keep a careful eye on my dress sense :-) xxx

From the hip

RAF uniform
Anything remotely golf - er - inspired
Wifebeater vest
Boxers
Light coloured shoes
Stonewashed plum chinos
Those pants that hang round the lower portion of your arse



Apart from that I think I may have skated on thin ice with some less flattering attire.

Including the tutu.

Rigger: The mind boggles as to the content of your dressing-up box :-)
Re: wifebeater vest. I only discovered what that was a couple of years back when one of my UK-educated daughters broke the news to me. Now you can appreciate why these blogs are an essential part of *my* education :-)

MsG: Relieved to hear we will not be deprived of your company. Re. your comment - I've found that wearing the clothes I do helps me blend into the background. I only get attention when I take them off ;-)

Skebbie: I concur, as the clothes i wear "help me blend into the background" in my day to day life as i like to fly below radar.
I only share my "other side" on my terms and with people of my choosing ;-)

"I only get attention when i take them off"
I find that hard to believe. Very sure you get your fair share of attention due to your other attributes while dressed in the manner you feel comfortable with.

Oh and when "you take them off" is that not Dixon that gets most of the attention lol ;-)

MsG: Thank goodness you are sticking around as i am sure you would be missed in many ways.x

SG: It's all good as long as you're happy :-) x

I would never wear UGG(ly) boots or a onesie or even more horrifying wear the boots with a onesie.
For some strange reason it is a common sight in the streets and shops in the town where i live, both males & feamales dressed in the afore mentioned items. Not only does it look horrendous but surely it is the height of laziness. It makes me question if they even bother to showerbath before they leave their homes or do they fall out of bed,pull on the boots then hit the streets looking like vagrants ...
Maybe i am just getting old as someone hinted recently that i am nearing "middle age" lol

Big Confession: When I started this blog, I had never heard of a onesie :-) I may have seen a few about Yorkshire on my visits, but at the time was unaware of the correct nomenclature. A quick etymology search has revealed that the term was not in wide use until about 2008, so of course if I was in Japan most of the time it would not have filtered through to me, and it's hardly a subject I would discuss with my UK pub landlord :-) This just goes to show that I'm not often au fait with current UK trends (as per wifebeater :-) so I rely on you good blogging souls to keep me up to speed. A quick perve (if that is the right word) at onesies being modeled on websites tells me that I definitely wouldn't say no to the ladies who are inside them, and the zip would allow easy access. However, I realize that these models may not necessarily be representative of the average proto-shoggoth who slouches around the streets of Leeds or Manchester on any given Saturday :-)

Re: leather jackets. I think you either suit 'em or you don't. I don't. I did have one back in the 80s but squinting hesitantly at the pics now, I look like a reject from the Iranian Astronaut Training Centre.

I'm confused ... am I the only one who thinks onesies are pyjamas?
I've never worn it outside.
Purple polka dot with matching slippers. Just the right shade of purple to complement a glass of wine on a Friday evening (yeah, my social life is overwhelming at times).
I thought it was cute, but clearly I'm wrong. OMG .... I really am a chav!!

Luv2: Being a closet chav is nothing to be ashamed of. We all have a secret need to revert to something we feel comfortable with when we're off duty :-) Just so long as you don't wear it to one of your Dementor meetings you'll be fine.

Shiny suits - Bad taste
Beany hats - look twattish
Shoes without socks - Not cool
Jumpers draped over shoulders - public schoolboy pillocks
Red or yellow trousers - Upperclass prats
Constantly wearing headphones - Pardon!
Onesies - Again because they deserve it

End of part 2

Joe: Particularly loved your epithets on that one :-) I'll definitely think twice before I swing my jumper over my shoulder next time I'm at Henley Regatta.

And another thing...
jewellery
cord-you-roy
pyjamas
designer garments

Just had a ghastly realization: I wear a lovat onesie for doing my gardening and strimming !! ........or is it an "overall"? (It has a double-ended full-length zip so Dixon can mark his territory without having to use the interior bogs.)

Perhaps Rigger is the one to consult for the final word on this issue. "Riggs, Riggs.....??!"

Overalls are not onsies!

Luv2: We all have something that we turn to for comfort during our down time within the confines of our own home. Mine is a silk Kaftan but i dont wear slippers as i like walking around in bare feet although in winter i tend to pop on a pair of knitted sock type things that don't go passed the ankle but i don't inflict that sight on the public lol.
I deffo take offence to being subjected to the sight of onesies worn as outdoor garments by adults. They have been banned (along with hoodies) from being worn in some supermarkets & shops in my area thank goodness :-)

Star: Thank you, compliments are always welcome.

Please remember all my dislikes are posted by a miserable old git with very little fashion sense.... End of disclaimer.

Doktor, "Overalls are not onsies!"

Oh yes they are!
If my pjs are onsies, so are overalls. :-)



Joe ... Noted!

Matching bra and pants! Gilli, this is sacrosanct as far as I am concerned. Should be subject of a parliamentary debate and made law.

Just idle curiosity, but WTF is a onesie? The only ones I know anything are about are the ones you put on babies.

Here,Here Luv2 i second that!!

EG: That is almost exactly what the are lol

I must be terribly unfashionable, as I had no idea they even make them for anyone over the age of 2.

They're convenient for changing diapers...but hate to think of the contortions needed for adults.

What is 'far shone sense'?

Lovely sunny Wales. ..is that the new south one where everybody's upside down?

Skebbie they are overalls not a onesie. Could be classed as coveralls. Do onesies not have hoods (just checking) whilst covies don't?

Many of my - er - previous colleagues - wear beanies (I do myself sometimes). Call them twattish at your peril. That said they are a thing of purpose (ie hat head warming) not something to be sported in your local shopping centre. Especially those stupid oversized ones that make the wearier look like Papa Smurf.

Oh and on the RAF uniform thing - could I just point out that there are a number that I wanted to get into and some that I did (one was even wearing a onsie but she called it a flying suit) but that is not the same as wearing it.

And I put my jumper over my shoulders all the time.

Dungarees - Terrible
Crocs - passion killers
Tie dyed tshirts - Never trust a hippy
Cornish pasty shoes - you know what i mean
Morris dancing - does that count?
Speedos - .............. ?
Has anyone mentioned onesies?

End of part 3

Mankini

Took me a while to get back as the site was down.......

I seem to recall that Winston Churchill used to wear something called a "siren suit": was that a sort of prototypic onsie?

Rigger: point taken about the hood issue. It seems I'm exonerated :-)

Must say I titter with inner amusement whenever I see blokes sporting camouglage fatigues in the civvie domain. I'm wondering whether they think it has a similar impact to wearing a Rolex.

Joe: "never trust a hippie"
Well I used to be one (sort of) and I can vouch for that statement. On the other hand I could also say "some of the biggest crooks wear suits". I think the difference is that hippies are just feckless and unreliable, and don't really mean to be the way the are. On the other hand, some suited gents are positively evil.

Yes I would definitely add Morris Dancing attire to my list of things I'd never be seen dead in. I'm all for preserving our fragile traditions: I just wish this particular one didn't involve poncing about in one's belt and braces, and all that limp-wristed hanky-flicking :-) Japanese festivals are much more full-on and butch :-)

Skebbie you've just made me grin from ear to ear!

There's very few things if any in life that I detest, despise or hate, but Morris dancers flip me right over the edge.

Each to their own, and live and let live, but 'ffs' what the hell would make a grown man want to dress up like a complete twat, then prance around in public is utterly beyond me! Even more incredulous is that people go to watch the sad gits do it, and applaud them!

MYS: Put it another way: I admire them, in fact, for trying to preserve traditions, but rather them than me :-)

I concur that traditions should be kept alive, after all i have sang at Burns Suppers to entertain diners in the past and watched as many a Haggis was slain by as some would say a "Man in a skirt" ;-)
That is a tradition i hold dear and will forever be proud of. I just hope it is a tradition my country preserves.

But even i have to asmit it is nowhere near as spectacular or elaborate nor is it as ancient a tradition as the ones celebrated in Japan.

All that said i still don't get the "limp-wristed,hanky-flicking" Morris Dancers poncing around lol

*admit (even lol)

Oo am I wounded now...by Joe of all peeps!

I wear dungarees a lot - working ones. I even put a steel rule in the pocket sometimes.

Now where's my trilby?

Cravats - Get a real tie
Skinny jeans that are just too tight - Worse than lycra?
Manbags - Poncy
Jeans without belts - They just don't look right
Syrups - Obviously!
Dirty shoes - Make an effort

End of part 4

I'm on a roll Stargirl don't stop me now!

Boof did warn you it would open a can of worms ;) lol

Joe: Keep on Rolling, i am liking your dislikes ;-)

Ooops think i forgot where i was. For a moment i thought i was on Luv2's like blog lol

GDU: I do believe it is a wig.x

My Scots DNA simply will not allow me to accept that a kilt is poncy, whereas floral dances and hanky-flicking seem very much so. I guess one man's tradition is another pan's poncing :-)

Skebbie: "Pan's Pouncing"

Not only did you make me splutter my coffee, my sides are sore with laughing lolol

oh dear even more so now as it was "Pan's Poncing" lol. see having the giggles and having to type at the same time is never a good thing for me ;-)

The are referred to as "Troupe of Morris dancers"

Frisky: I alwasy feel a lump in my throat and pride in my heart whenever i hear Bagpipes

Ahhh, kilts and bagpipes, now there's a tradition worth keeping alive!

Sunshine drinks coffee at 1am.
I'm impressed!



Joe, I'm convinced you're obsessive compulsive; you're displaying many of the signs and symptoms (and I should know being a sufferer of CDO myself). Get therapy!

And as for your thoughts on onsie pjs ... I still love them, even though mine doesn't have a hood (which makes them PJs in my book). But it's ok for you to disagree with me, I can't force you to be right :-)

I always thought thehcorrect phrase was a CAMRA of morris men.

You won't catch me doing either, either antipoprincess! Don't mind admitting I'm English, but I have no desire to be invoked in that endeavour in the least!

Frisky, CDO is OCD, but in alphabetical order ;-)

Bagpipes are scary. Always remind me of New Years Eve and hangovers.

Just imagine a Scottish morris dancing troupe with bagpipes ........ img src="imagesadultemoticons026.gif"

Joe (always the picture of sartorial elegance it seems) :

I think you and I maybe differ in our views regarding use of belts with jeans. I always thought that being casual was the whole point of wearing jeans; insisting on an accompanying belt seems (to me) like tipping a nod to conventionality. Mind you - I suppose it all depends on the individual waistline: those who aren't of the right shape may indeed require a belt to avoid the embarrassment of suddenly finding themselves with their jeans around their ankles in the super while reaching up to the pickle shelf. Besides, in sexual situations, I find that belts are more of a hindrance than a lure.

I've formed an opinion that blokes can be divided into two species according to their need for belts. One species will always wear a belt and tuck their tops (of whatever description) into their pants, whereas the other will always eschew belts and let their tops hang freely over their pants. There seems to be a preponderance of the former at golf clubs :-)

"You English are weird.
never catch any red blooded Aussie bloke doing either."

Well I always say it's nice to have some kind of outlet for the inner ponce in all of us, rather than bottling it up for the sake of machismo :-) Mind you, if you go down to Bondi, I suspect that a lot of the muscular guys there flexing their muscles would feel very much at home flicking hankies in time to an accordion: it's just that the environment makes it difficult for them.

Pepe: Tut,Tut the sound is actually described as "Skirl" and not screech and not from a cat. In UK the bags are traditionally sheepskin although other animal hide can be used and Gortex a modern material is sometimes used as a substitute to replace native hides. Bagpipes were classed as a weapon of war in the past. Here endeth the lesson lol ;-)

Oh and hairy knees or not, i do love a man in a kilt. Long may Scottish men continue to wear their Kilts with pride.x

Sanshain: There used to be a troupe of lady dancers on Top of the Pops called "Pan's People": it was only a natural extrapolation :-)

Sanshain (2): The Japanese 3-stringed banjo, or "shamisen", uses cat skin, and the Okinawan version is made from the skin of a local snake. Traditional instrument makers are now having probs because of the international outcry against cruel Japanese slaughtering innocent animals for the sale of frivolous pleasure. I suspect a "Gortex shamisen" would sound a bit tinny :-)

Joe: Hmm we have our own dancers who prefer to use swords, so NEVER will there be any need to team our Bagpipes with hanky waving Morris dancers lol :-)

Oh....on the subject of Bondi "hunks"........

On Hughie Green's "Opportunity Knocks" (a primitive forerunner of the X-Factor), one of the long-running successes was "Tony Holland the Muscle Man", who would flex and twitch his muscles in time to the musical number "Wheels" (qv). I was wondering whether the Bondi guys could do the same, except to a jingly accordion accompaniment, rather than hanky-flicking. Perhaps that would give them a face-saving chance to express themselves :-)

MsGN: Am I not allowed to address you as 'Curvy' anymore ? (sob-sob)

BTW if I have just transgressed some sacrosanct law of etiquette, feel free to burn me in a big wicker man :-)

Sukebe: Ah i see, will have to admit even if it means i am showing my age, i do remember "Pans People" on TOTP lol
Oh my, i am getting old ;-)

Hmm when it comes to matters of tradition i think that there should be some room for exceptions to a rule as long is it is well regulated, as i agree Gortex is never quite a "prefect" substitute.

Ooops, fear i may get some flack for expressing my last opinion img src="imagesadultemoticons009.gif"

ShyBoy: Yep those "Caber tossing" men are hardy menboys thats for sure so don't think the nips from a few midges will trouble then too much lol ;-)

Hawaiian Shirts - They're not funny
Sunglasses Indoors - You're not a Rock Star (Unless you are then I'll forgive you)
Bandanas Sweat Bands - Ridiculous
Rock T-Shirts (Led Zep, The Jam, The Who etc) on people who you know have never heard a single song - Fashion Victims?
Flares - NEVER AGAIN!!!

The End (Maybe)

Skebbie thank you glad I got that off my chest. That blog has been very cathartic.

Regarding the belts and any other dislikes I refer you to my earlier disclaimer ;)And I'm most definitely not "always the picture of sartorial elegance" lol but everyone needs a good rant now and again.

The only decent Morris Dancers I ever saw was a group of twenty something female dancers, who did indeed dance with swords which became interwoven into a star during the dancing. They really put the boring, bell ringing, hanky wavers to shame... I'll make a special exception in my dislike column for them.

Now to just get over my COD... or was it CDO.... or maybe OCD? I'm not going to stop checking it until i'm sure it's right...

Sorry average Joe, have to disagree with you on bandanas! My cranium solar panel can get a tad heated in the sunshine, I'm not a big fan of baseball caps (plus they blow off from time to time), and would look a complete cock in a straw hat!

Luckily I avoided the Madchester baggy era for flares Wingit as I too busy being a shoegazer and a miserable goth (well a reasonably happy one actually) but there are some shocking 70's childhood pictures with massive flares... Sends shivers down the spine!!!

MGN, GDU, will post a pic in my bandana and you can both give me a thumbs up or down! If it's a down I promise I will never wear one again! GDU, owned a hat with corks on, my Dad bought me one back years ago when he lived out there! Have to be honest I loved it but never had the nerve to wear it in public!

ShyBoy: Last time I was at the Highland Games I had to beat a hasty retreat to the beer tent because a succession of burly kilted gents kept mistaking Dixon for the caber :-) And he takes exception to being tossed by those to whom he hasn't been properly introduced.

Joe: Glad you're feeling better. If you take a spoonful of cod liver oil now you'll feel a new man in the morning.

Have to agree on shades indoors, but in my case it would be for practical reasons because I'm almost blind anyway, and if I blotted out what little light and form I'm already perceiving, I'd always be bumping into things or falling downstairs.

Must admit I dislike having conversations with people who refuse to take off their shades. Hiding one's eyes gives a person a strategic advantage, and I think it's only good manners for two people to be on an equal level of eye contact. Hardly ever wear shades myself anyway, except for driving into the sun. If I wear them all the time in the summer, I end up looking like a "negative raccoon" :-)

You guys, I spluttered my green tea at the hilarity of you two.(skebbie & SB)

Skebbie: I do imagine Dixon to be quite selective ;-)

"negative raccoon"
Not a panda? lol
Believe it or not my friend has three Raccons as pets.

Shyboy: Really a grown man fearing wee midges that are smaller than the size of a pin head lol ;-)

wingit: Actually I'm surprised my reference to chavs survived. I think on blogs you have to be careful not to upset certain social groups. Maybe Mancunians hate being typecast as Lowry Stick-people :-)

wingit: I guess that admin are not always sensitive to these matters :-)

Shell suits - do I really need to justify this?

Hold ups - there seems to be some unwritten rule that hold ups reserve the right to head south when walking down a crowded street or when walking into someone's office.

Track suit bottoms - why on earth would I want to wear them in public unless I'm heading to or from training?