WARNING: Public Discomfort Alert

Inappropriate words indeed....

Here's to the public boner.

Chaps - sport them with pride!

"sport them with pride."
It's such a hard thing to rise above pride ;-)


and yes ... very appropriately inappropriate.

Think most of us blokes have been there at one time or another Luv2 and whisper it quietly but most of us like it as well ;)

Ronald, there's nothing really embarrasing about showing your masculinity. That being said, the good old "tuck it under your arm pit" works well.


Curvy, with you on that one. Was feeling fine until I decided to write and post this.

Mac, hate to break it to you, but most girls take a look. We know we shouldn't, but that is what makes it such a flippin' turn on.

Curvy, cock watching is a respectable pastime. Finding a hard on is a bonus :-)

Happened to me a couple of years ago on our locsl naturist beach,as a result of being very adjacent to two ladies who were cavorting ( can't think of a better word ) nearby. The lady I was with initally took a rather dim view of my predicament, seeing it as a slight to her ( despite the fact that she had often caused the same re-action).
Luckily,I managed to diffuse the situation and make her laugh ,by using my erection as a towel rail !

OK, I think we all get it by now: Luv2 is going through a dick crisis :-) One can only speculate as to the identity of the "He" in this context :-)

Going back to her treatise on "wandering eyes" a few weeks back, I think it fair to reiterate that visual flaccid dick-hunting through clothes in public situations gets few results, unlike the "tit-hunting" scenario, where it's pretty hard for well endowed women to conceal the fact.

I agree with Riggs that sporting a public boner is very laudable, but through clothes it seems a little coy. This is why Dixon prefers the public domain of the internet as a vehicle for his exhibitionistic tendencies.

I'm also totally with Mac in my disdain for boxers and other loose underpants. Y-fronts are also terrible because dicks have a habit of getting everywhere, and if they pop through a crack somewhere or get stuck down a seam, it's downright uncomfortable :-) For that reason I've always used BHS "slips" that lack a fly. They're tiny bikini-type briefs that hold everything in a nice tight little package at the front and stop it from flapping around. In fact I've found slips quite hard to find elsewhere in the UK, so I'm hoping BHS don't stop making them; in the meantime I have a nice little stock.

Although I don't go around actively looking for boner-hunters, I *am* a bit of a tease and will sometimes go commando to a date wearing very tight jeans. (If of course I think it would be well received; I *am* capable of behaving like a gent....lol) In a semi-dark setting such as a cocktail bar, I enjoy positioning myself so that my date can get a decent perve, and when Dixon starts getting semi-hard after a bit of touching, he starts to snake down the inside of one of my thighs. (He's quite arbitrary: but on the whole dresses on the left :-) I really enjoy getting felt up through the fabric of my jeans, providing it's not too publicly obvious, especially if my date has her tongue in my ear and whispering filthy nothings. However, there is an art to maintaining semi-hardness. Achieving a full boner under these circumstances is counter-productive, as it gets very uncomfortable, and hampers activity such as going to the loo (when I adopt a limping sort of gait, and then have to beat Dixon surreptitiously to get him to behave).

I am filled with desire now - I want to be standing in front of the veg displays in Waitrose with Luv2 whispering "kumquat" in my ear whilst gently fondling my butternut squash.

A fine dream. I may keep it.

I can see how some may think I am going through a 'dick crisis' (cheers Skebbie). Perhaps the fact that most (if not all) of my blogs contain a willy or two could be seen as a bit of a give-a-way ... or perhaps it's a red herring :-)

Dixon deserves the odd beating if he regularly has to wear knickers from BHS. ;-)


Hmm kumquats and butternut squash. Also fond of sharing cherries. For those of us who don't get out too often, the supermarket fruit and veg section can be so much fun. "If it fits, I sits." hahaha, it's so hard to remain classy when you're feeling naughty.

Haha BBW, I suspect the weekend shift blog monster wishes he suffers from public erection syndrome.

As a small fruit kumquat have so little to commend them. But the word is a fine one and well worth adding to any list of inappropriate sweet nothings.

Whilst I think I can keep things under control (more or less) in the gentlemans area there are certain things that push my self control somewhat.

I am a fan of surreptitious influences. The longer than a casual glance glance, the tiniest hint of a smile which can only be seen in the eyes, a slightly open mouth when the object of ones desires is looking at you, the lightest of touches, perhaps a finger run across the small of ones back as bodies pass closely.

The knowledge of things to come is the biggest aphrodisiac and is certain to have the red corpuscles chasing the white corpuscles south in a determined way, and the subtle hints that my chosen partner shares the same knowledge are guaranteed to set things in motion in the engine room.

Oo sorry got a bit carried away then. Where were we? Oh yes at the fruit and veg department.

I wonder if we will make it to the car or will we be obliged to throw caution and the (re-useable) shopping bags to the wind and make wild passionate love on the 10 items or less conveyor?

Again.....?

Ohh blimey

I just remembered.

Christine, the irish girl with green eyes and freckles that melted my heart and set my pants on fire so many years ago with what can only be described as the most salacious wink in the history of eye related communication. Whilst we were not an item, she would, if the mood took her, catch my eye across a crowded bar room (address and postcode available on request), deliver the heartstopping wink, a barely perceptible and deliciously slow narrowing of an eye that would be invisible were one not tuned in to it.

Discression prohibits me from adding further details of subsequent events but my recollection is that it was all pretty base. I think I live in hope of one day, being somewhere, and our eyes meeting again.

Till then I will remain dedicated to the winking cause, and the dirtier the winking, the better.

Glances at keyboard winking.
I said 'winking' FFS!

Ellisb, " ... sure it does not take much teasing from you to get your male companion hot under the collar."

I do my best ... "Anything worth doing is worth overdoing" (Mick Jagger! I think).




The best part is casually brushing your hand across, just to check your efforts haven't gone to waste.

Lol and have you ever found they have gone to waste Luv2? ....... Nope thought not ;)

Nope, my efforts are never wasted. I choose my prey very carefully. Although there was this one time at band camp ....

MsG, "Oh Luv2 you are a naughty naughty girl ..."

I know and it feels so very good, unless of course my mom is reading this. In which case, "Mom, take no notice of these wicked people; I don't know what they are talking about. You know I am still a virgin and would never discuss public Boners."

Another thing MsG ... pot and kettle spring to mind ;-)

Mm Macbloke...those (males) of us who dabbled in the uniformed art will have experienced the phenomenon known as Convoy Cock, which is exactly what it says on the tin. When travelling in convoy there comes a point where the other personal weapon just wants to stand to attention.

Where, in the deep and dark (or in my case shallow and dark) recesses of the cranium this emanates from I have no idea. All I know is that all convoy stops involve much crotch sorting and knowing nods all round. I never had the nerve to ask if there was a female equivalent but a short but meaningful legover with an exceptionally flustered aeromed nurse in the back of an otherwise empty herc while stuck on the pan in N Iraq leads me to believe there is.

It has never happened to me on a bus though I think the tube has caused stirrings.

Is this Cockfosters? the lady next to me said when the train stopped. No I replied. It's mine.

Right who wants to have a go at dirty winking?

Anonymous ... or maybe local. Oh sod it, do both!!

Look forward to the 'reveal SnC.

MsG, it would be the first time you've been caught, I'm sure ;-)



Suechris, you two really know how to misbehave. Quiet ones are always the worst x



On another note, I find kumquats to be so disappointing in the taste department (almost as bad as star fruit). If I was going to go to the trouble of encouraging a guy to get hard in public, I would find something a lot tastier.

Really ladies all this talk of boners! It's making me feel quite hungry........ Must be time for a bacon butty?? img src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif"

Wise words suenchris .... Something we can all aspire to.

Luv2 what did happen at band camp? Whispering things about blowing trombones in someones ear
during a concert?

SueChris, that is so true. Incidentally, purple is my favourite colour and I love purple pants (the knicker kind) ;-)

Youth is without doubt a gift from dear Mother Nature. If I'm honest, there are times when I regret not recognising this when I was much younger. I had quite a reserved upbringing and 'letting your hair down' wasn't necessarily encouraged. I can still hear "Think of your future ********, your career, your reputation". Needless to say, I started to learn how to really enjoy myself as soon as I left college and home (for uni). Oh my, wasn't I a disappointment ;-)

Now, in my forties, I'm trying to refine my definition of age in the context of how I live my life ... like a work of art in progress. I'm sure it will never be a masterpiece, but it I am sure it will be fun. This may go some way to explaining why I enjoy the occasional (actually, probably more than occasional) bout of misbehaviour.

Is there a National Wear Purple Day?

Go4it, you are right, it does make you hungry. Did you manage to get one?


Joe, what happens at band camp stays in band camp; know what I mean (wink, wink)?


Curvy, yep, can appreciate the underwire thing: Dangerous!! PS, how's the hangover?


Tom, clearly knows what I'm talking about. A nicely shaped and appropriately sized cucumber brings guaranteed results - every time. You just need to be creative about what you'd like to do with it. A word to the wise: Stay away from the hot chillies.

The very sight of a jar of Nutella (aisle 12) and a punnet of strawberries (aisle 9) has me whistling for him to abandon the shopping trolley, whizz me off to bed and lose me forever.

I can't even begin to describe what you can do with the goods in aisle 3. Blimey! My cheeks are pink just thinking about it ;-)

You need a big hairy dog CurvyB .... Will have you back to your normal self in no time ;) woof!

Luv2, I only managed to have the one! Best not get to greedy? I might fill me boots next time??

If I'm lucky lucky??
I should be so lucky.........

Tom, aisle three is a delight, it just takes a little imagination. You'd be surprised what you can do with an extension lead, a breville toaster and a hand blender, especially when wearing my black PVC cat suit and thigh length stiletto-heeled boots.

A quick trip down aisle 4 can also earn you a packet of multi-coloured clothes pegs for those extra-special, heart stopping encounters. Muahahaha

""You'd be surprised what you can do with an extension lead, a breville toaster and a hand blender, especially when wearing my black PVC cat suit and thigh length stiletto-heeled boots."" Oh luv2 - you have just done it to me now! Just about to go out to a meeting and I am going to be troubled by the above all day. Thank you :-)

Cat suit eh? Interesting....

Rigger - re Convoy Cock - this is out of context, but you're on short arm parade in the morning!

Curvy, you've misunderstood the purpose of the pegs. Whispering quietly "guy's genitals".
Ah ... I have wicked thoughts. I sometimes shock myself.

Elisb, Tom: I no longer allow myself to be bullied into posting pics after the motorbike and leathers episode (whispers so Wilf can't hear). If you have a clever photo app, use my bike pic, colour the leathers red and stretch the image horizontally by an inch or so to add a few dress sizes. That should do it ;-)

Seriously though, me dressed in a PVC cat suit is more likely to get me arrested than cause a public hard on.

I've seen the phrase 'short arm inspection' on the blogs a few times and just assumed it was some kind of weapons check (?); I mean for real weapons (?); one that fires ammunition (?); a pistol (?) ... oh FFS never mind, I'm sure you get what I mean.

Badboy's comment made me curious so I Googled.

I'm shocked!! Short arm inspection: "Army slang for inspection of penises for disease or erections. The former are sent to the doctor, the latter to the brothel."

Tut tut tut Shame on you all :)

Note to self: Find out if 'long arm inspections' are for those with bigger willies.

nothing wrong with the public boner at all. i find it a turn on really......bring it on xx

One way to find out Luv2, go up to a policeman dressed in your PVC catsuit and let us know the outcome ... ;)

OW! Pegs!!!! Does that include hanging them from the washing line as well?

Joe99 I have heard the term "hung out to dry" but I think that is taking things too far lol

Joe, clothes pegs: You like the sound of those don't you? Go on, admit it. Don't be shy, we all have our own shade of kink - yours just happens to be pegs. Don't be embarrassed, embrace it. :-)

Embrace the peg???? Could pinch a bit... but then again those old wooden ones!!! Phwoaaarrr now we're talking!!!
OW!!! img src="imagesadultemoticons026.gif"

Shymike, "nothing worse than a raging h*rd on in leathers"


I beg to differ ;-)

Sunny day; ride in the country; open field; tall grass; hot leather; no leather ... need I say more?

A stiffy in Morecambe eh???

Not since the hot nights of swing (musical I hasten to add) in the Broadway.

Since then it has not been the first place that springs to mind when it comes to arousal.

But here's the thing. I have been sporting a fine semi quite a lot today and for the life of me I have no idea why. Its not even February.

Is it the medication?

It's my birthday!!! February is always a good month. Uranus rules under the sign of Aquarius (apparently)


Come to think of it, I'm not so sure I like the sound of my birthday having anything to do with Uranus.

Thanks SueC, got a couple of weeks to wait for my birthday but it should be a good one. :-)



Tom, choked on my cornflakes reading that this morning.
Strangely, that's not the first time a guy's said that to me. Not sure they're laughing with me or at me most of the time.

Where was the long arm of the law when you needed it Mac?

Sure they werent just wishful thinking? Something else to add to the dressing up blog?

And I bet no one else has had to stay sitting in the swimming pool on holiday casually waiting for an inappropriate stiffy to slowly recede so they can get out ........ Oh apparently not then!

Ah just read back.... Sue'n'Chris there is!....

"Stiffs are always good"

Ahh ... I couldn't agree more Sue.

Oh for heaven's sake!!!
For the record, I am not into necrophilia. That should have read 'stiffys', not 'stiffs'.

I'm going back to bed ... (I wish).

Me too, Ron :-)

Chris. Wow ! yet another use for Cillit Bang ! I take it the wet patch on Chris's trousers is due to spraying his cock to induce a stiffy !
I'm intrigued to know how you get wet patches on yours though.Does Cillit Bang heighten sensation,or are you just an inaccurate sprayer ?
Wow ! if Cillit nworked any faster, your pussy would get a speeding ticket.
I love my Cillit Bang but I'm just a raving loony who goes on and on and on about it, until I finally fall over backwards, foaming at the mouth and wet myself in sheer ecstasy.
Kind regards,
Barry Scott.

When I was at school it was 'bus cock' - always when I was about to get off (alight) and hoped the girls would notice. My lady takes less than a second to notice if my fly is not done up so if you meet her when you have a boner you can guarantee she has noticed. To keep him under control these days I wear ladies knickers with light control.

I remember a school friend who was on the bus on the way to scouts when his mind wandered and he developed an erection.
Only trouble was it was poking out the the leg of his shorts. He missed his stop sitting there willing it to subside so he could get up and off :-)

Luv2 strikes again. With a well worded blog she has all her male readers feeling their penis' grow inside their jeans. What a gal!!!

well in my younger days when my wife and i used to go out shopping as soon as she statd looking the underwear i always started to get a hard on and would make sure i as holding any shopping bags for me to hide my excitement lol but i enjoyed the thrill lol

Have you tried locking his cock up in a cage, restrictibg his hard on n frustrating him even further. Taking it out in the car and watch it twitch for attention as you torment him for yor your sadistic thrills. ;)

Yoursexfriend , thank you! You made me giggle this morning.
I'm intrigued ... How exactly do you lock a cock in a cage then take it out in the car?

Are you talking about a cock-a-doodle-doo type cock (feathered kind) because I was talking about the pink, warm, hard and available kind?

Is this a 'twilight zone approaching alert' or am I being particularly naive this morning?

:-)

Sue, hate to ask ... can you draw me a picture?

Oh, I don't know Sue. Surprise me :-)

"It's probably a reasonable assumption that you know what a cock cage is like ..."

My head hangs in shame; I really didn't know, but thanks to Google, I'm now well-informed.
I see you can even order them in combat camouflage. Not sure why I found that interesting ...

Wingit, "Luv2 you're a Lady after my own heart. here's me thinking only I took such delight in inducing the ' public boner! "


It's always a pleasure to find someone with the same shade of kink. Clearly there are a few of us around :-)

"It is nice here, for all sorts of reasons"
That's because you two are so much fun :-)


Famine, willies, wellies .... who cares, I like wearing them both. Muahahaha

Sticky tape? Should I ask ...?