It's so very typical of me ...

Couldn't help smiling at the thought of a humble Luv2 :-)

First of all, I would dispute whether a bacon butty, irrespective of brown sauce, is always better than a wank. I would say a wank can sometimes reach the level of excellence of, say, a brace of Edo-mae sushi topped with prime fatty tuna underbelly fresh from Tsukiji fish market. Besides, Le Gavroche has only two stars, and I've found that French cuisine is generally overrated (and thus overpriced) anyway :-)
(And of course zey orl assyueme zat zey argh za best boase een bed an in ze kisshin :-)
Tokyo has more Michelin stars than any other city in the world.

For me, the most exciting sex is when I'm contacted by a woman who, on paper, looks too good to be true, but who after a short while is revealed to be quite genuine and has already booked her travel tickets:-) It's the highest compliment imaginable, and makes me want pull out all the stops for her. I think it's that cascade of spontaneity that triggers a rush of desire. New flesh is undoubtedly a massive aphrodisiac, especially if it is prime flesh offered unconditionally for whatever cuisine to which it can be adapted.

"PM me with offers ... "

Can I interest you in a metaphorical kimchee sandwich? :-)

Mmm bacon or hand shandy? Tricky.

I am quite clear regarding the bacon accompaniment however, as the main difference between an egg and a good wank is that you can beat an egg.

But what Luv2 describes is the joy of choice - we are lucky people to have so much choice, and resulting sensory experience, at our fingertips. For me circumstances are everything, for instance I hate mars bars and coke (the drinking kind) yet there have been occasions when through exhaustion I would have killed for either and sold my soul for both. And I would have chosen either over a bacon butty.

I wonder though what the ultimate sexual circumstances are? I think, like the late night mars bar when you just don't think you have anything else to give, that the best sex is the sex that you need right here, right now.

Slightly Neanderthal perhaps, but hey, that's the sort of chap I am.

By the way for a decent in-between experience (food OK but ambience totally excellent for those of a slightly swinging persuasion) can I commend Sorastro on Drury lane?

Oh and smooch late night jazz just down the road....

Can't beat a Nutella sandwich .....

I think some of you get it: Sometimes the best sex is the sex that you need right now ... OMG Oh Yes Yes Yes!!

Rigger there is absolutely nothing Neanderthal about that. I find it a real turn-on.


Le Gavroche may have only two stars Skebbie, but it has had Michel Roux's hands and talent all over it.


Wilf, I may be cheap, but I'm not easy. I know ... it freaks me out too, but the possibilities are endless ;-)

"but it has had Michel Roux's hands and talent all over it"

Yes, but can he make a cup of tea halfway up a rock face ? :-)

"Yes, but can he make a cup of tea halfway up a rock face ??
I doubt it, but know a man who can and what I wouldn't give to eat a bacon butty (or two) with him.
Mmmm, Bear Grylls with loads of brown sauce and a cup of tea ;-)

Could just eat one now actually; didn't eat last night so starving this morning.

Was it good?
Soos jealous right now ;-)

Ron: I suggest you start a food delivery service and extend your territory as far as Stratford on Avon. You have the wheels already, so you have a head start :-) Also there seem to be some very hungry people down there.

A bacon butty delivery service? That sounds expensive ;-)

I think most men only have two emotions: Horny and hungry.
Make them a bacon butty and POW, Bob's your uncle and we're all happy.

I'm sure Ron would waive the delivery overheads (he needs the business as much as you need to fill yourself). Besides, why restrict yourself to bacon butties?
You could plan your menu in advance over the phone.

Ron, let's get something clear - I'm always right ;-)


"... why restrict yourself to bacon butties?"
As Macbloke said earlier, absolutely! That's the whole point; it's about whatever takes your fancy, but it has to be readily available and 'right now! '.

It's just that there is something really satisfying about bacon and just the smell of it grilling is enough to make your mouth water. You can grill it, fry it, pop it in one of those little toaster bags. Eat it on bread, toast, bagel or a nice soft floury bap. If you're feeling really naughty, two really thick slices of freshly baked bread.

Best of all, if you leave it to go cold and hard on a plate, you can just pick it up, pop it in your mouth and chew.

Bacon can be eaten anytime, anywhere :-)

Irrespective of the modus operandi, I think we're agreed that we all appreciate being (ful)filled. If you're sticking to your "right now" policy, though, I suspect meals on wheels would not be suitably rapid enough. Probably something along the lines of Willie Wonka's teleporter or Scottie's beam. (Did I ever mention that Ron bears more than a passing resemblance to Jean-Luc Picard, so he might be better able than most to facilitate an "instant" bacon butty ??)

Ron: That would be a Cumberland sausage, of course, right? Everyone knows they are longest, thickest and meatiest in UK :-)

Curvy: How about a four-eyed geek who does a martial art and knows nothing about bikes ? (lol)

Ron: I think it's about time you got yourself a black polo-neck jumper. Your time has finally come :-)

Could Ron be a superhero? Sausage Man or Bacon Buttie Bloke? ..... Delivering fulfillment wherever it is required!

Would Ron in a cape and his pants outside his trousers also work CurvyB?

Something that's allows easy access to his meaty products and can make him stand out in a crowd CurvyB ....... Sound ok?

This is your moment Ron ..... Fill those floury baps!!!!!

"Easy access to meaty products."

Oh dear, I'm worried my blog may have offended some of our veggie members with all this talk about meat.
For the record, it doesn't really have to be bacon or sausage.

It's about choice! If you prefer to eat tofu that's fine too. Some may even prefer to eat nuts (mwhahahah).

I draw the line at any fishy food talk on my blog though. Fish and sex really don't do it for me.

Apologies ... just noticed how many times I used the word 'shag' in this blog. My mom would be so proud.


2fat2, lipstick?

Ahh ... It's a bit 'red' isn't it? I just need to find myself a guy to ruin it.

"Awesome accent macbloke most convincing x"

Does that mean *my* accent in my opening post was crap ?? Sob, sob......wail...... :-(

"I'm worried my blog may have offended some of our veggie members"

Yes, these days one has to be very deferential to minority bloggers in addition to certain other sacred cows that are protected by Admin's "Iron Dome" missile defense system :-)

"2fat2, lipstick?"

Indeed. There is nothing more erotic than a woman who enjoys brazenly applying bright vermillion to enhance the visual pleasure of a slow, sloppy BJ.

Hi Jasper - always nice to see a new face :-). I'm with you on the tofu. It's a bit like eating congealed baby sick. Although to be fair, baby sick probably has more flavour.

Mac, "Then in the tent for a shag ... well .. i can dream."
I agree, early morning tent bacon is something else, especially when you can hear other campers walking past just when you're about to take that first bite.


"There is nothing more erotic than a woman who enjoys brazenly applying bright vermillion to enhance the visual pleasure of a slow, sloppy BJ."
Red really isn't the easiest colour to wear. It dyes your lips for a week afterwards. I generally avoid wearing it, unless I'm trying to look sluttish haha.
My favourite lipstick is a nice shade of penis.

OK, here's another line of thought. I find myself wondering if Luv2 is perfecting her journalistic style while writing these blogs. Has everyone noticed how she carefully crafts her wording building from a simple opening question. And it gets better each time. You're some lady :D

Just finished a delicious bowl of "marbo dofu", which is a sort of Jappo-Chinese chilli con carne, except it contains baby sick instead of the beans. Yummy !!

Perhaps analogous with those marks against the wall left over the years by children measuring how tall they've grown, or rings of foam on the inside of a pint glass that record each gulp of ale, Dixon has a series of red rings that don't actually reach all the way down to the bottom :-)

FOM, I carefully craft everything I do. Haha: if only that was true.



"Dixon has a series of red rings that don't actually reach all the way down to the bottom." That's what happens, I guess.

You must be a natural then Luv2 ;)

"You must be a natural then"

Hmm, mostly, but with a little help from Spanx, Wonderbra, Mac, L'oreal (yeah, hair dye).

I regularly use Mac's protein based facial products. Don't blush. You have nothing to be embarrassed about; they're the best.

"Awesome accent macbloke most convincing x"
"Does that mean *my* accent in my opening post was crap?"


Both your accents are fab and very convincing (really) and keeping to blog theme:
Je pense une saucisse de Cumberland ou un sandwich au bacon est très satisfaisant dans n'importe quelle langue.

May wee. Onny swakki mally ponce silver plate.

Gone, gone, gone ...
Mac, there's something rather amusing about you being gobbled by the blog monster.

I am now resisting the temptation to use a dancing emoticon.

Poor Mac, he's been eaten again!! Why am I wondering if the blog monster is a girl or a guy? Does it matter? Such a mystery ...


Mac, sending you this to cheer you up ... img src="imagesadultemoticons026.gif"

Iancaisteal, would you like that on a lightly toasted muffin?

Iancaisteal, would you like that on a lightly toasted muffin?

Iancaisteal, would you like that on a lightly toasted muffin?

How on earth did I manage three posts in a row? Clearly the thought of a bacon muffin this morning got to me.

It's the muffin that got to me