What makes someone stand out?

A hole is not just a hole. we read profile look at photos and from that see where things go and as we r newbies we was both thinking we would have had some fun by now ???

There has to be some sort of attraction and rapport. How far you take it depends on you.

Easy to answer. Intelligence,personality,wit,mutual interests and general good humour.
People who will take me at face value and not look for some non-existent ,hidden agenda.Life is far too short to waste time on things like that.

I have to say humor does it for me. Make me smile first and foremost, otherwise conversation (much less anything else) is unlikely to get very far.

I like people who bring out the best in me. And can distract me when I'm not at that point.

as far as attraction goes....there does eventually need to be some physical attraction, but that is not even close to the main thing for me. I find looks are so influenced by personality...someone I might think is gorgeous is a total knob once getting to know them (which makes their features look rather ugly in the long run), and vice versa.

My idea of a very good looking guy though is not necessarily what others would consider the same.

For me I have become very discerning (although you would not believe it if you have ever seen me being a right slapper in the chatroom) because although I am not looking for anything other than some fun, it has to be the sort of fun that puts the nerve endings on alert and makes the pulse race. Sex for the brain as a lovely glaswegian lady put it once upon a fine adventure.

So a nicely written profile and a picture or two are good starters for ten. I also quite like a challenge - I have met couples for instance who quite clearly state no single males on their profile.

By the same token I have always placed a lot of importance on that first encounter in the flesh as it were - the moment where your cyber impression is either confirmed or not. At that point whatever went before can change dramatically; one couple did not want to play because (apparently) I looked like the ladys brother whilst on another occasion I said thanks but no thanks because my expectations were wide of the mark (thats the polite version)

For me though the most attractive people are those who know their own mind.

There are many different types, some who do not care who they have sex with, I have known a few.
Personally, it is the face that has to attract and then the body, but an attractive body without and attractive face is not attractive.img src="imagesadultemoticons013.gif"

I read a fantastic article just this evening on this topic, which read to the likes of and discrepancy between male and female POV while dabbling in expressional emotion.. Blokes feel like fucking is giving love! On the other hand, Women feeling as though fucking is a Given for feeling. THE MATH *smile

For me, no woman really starts to "stand out" from the moment I see her profile: potential desirabilitycompatibility only begins to take shape in stages, the first of which is ascertaining her body type, age, and geographical location (it would be pointless, for me at any rate, to seriously consider someone living in Cebu, or for that matter even Inverness or Penzance :-)

Even if a woman has only a 2-line profile and an avatar, I'd still be prepared to introduce myself if those basic attributes fall within my criteria.

The next stage is how willing she is to communicate (that is, if I get a reply at all :-), and she gets extra points if she chooses to do so off-site, preferably with a photo or two.

Finally, the clincher is whether her physical persona matches the profile stats and my mental picture, and the substance of her e-mail. Intelligence, open-mindedness and rapport are essential if I'm going to meet, or it will ultimately be a waste of time. I prefer to get all these things sorted via e-mail, otherwise a face-to-face is likely to end in embarrassmentdisappointment.

So in short, there is no such thing as "love (or lust) at first sight" on here. One needs to do one's homework first.

When we're young attraction seams rooted firmly in the senses! Be it a persons physical attributes, the sound of their voice, a look or simply a smile.

As we grow older our desires become complicatedcontradictory! Most of are seeking some form of release, be it physical, emotional or simply the need to feel again. "What makes a person stand out?" - the promise of a desire fulfilled!

Now, now - play nicely ;-)
x

I think the naughty step is free Gilli ..... ;)

Do I have to be naughty to join you though Gilli ? ;) X

Why your attracted to someone can be a very difficult thing to define..But attraction has to be there for me personally before i will contact someone-I think a pretty face is an initial start-but beauty is in the eye of the beholder..

Well as a very hairy dwarf with an Observer book of 101 Chat Up Lines that's my chances blown :-

Can I come to the naughty side?img src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif"

We'll I guess we are all here for the same thing, whether it's sex on a first second or third date. Gangbangs voyeurism etc we all want something out of it or we wouldn't be here.
Who's with me?

So girls, back to the question, what do you like in a message from a guy ?aAnd how would you make contact, what would you say ?

well when a pic is nude u will like it or not but when a pic is teasing it leads more to the imagination and desire as there is still a want inside to c ur partners body,,saying that a girl may be beautiful bu t has no femininity,,,then what is femininity,,,when 1 can seduce u by verbal contact,,can tease u with in-undoes,,,can have interesting talks with u b4 + after the intimacy and enjoy special moments in harmony even when walking around

Seems to be a general consensus that pics on a profile are important. I've had plenty of positive feedback about mine, but this hasn't necessarily translated into women falling over themselves to get into my pants :-) Perhaps I come over as being too intimidating, although I suspect being er......mature...has something to do with it too :-)

With regard to pics on women's profiles, I definitely find them useful for narrowing down the field. I would say that about 80% are immediately eliminated at first glance. Of those that remain (i.e. those I consider attractive), things get more difficult because you often find there's a negative correlation between the number of picsamount of body exposure and a woman's willingness to meet. Many women are here simply to tease, titillate, and get off on compliments, or to find amusement at the depths to which males will abase themselves in order to be considered :-) If you combine that situation with other factors such as ridiculous age differences or unfavorable geography, it doesn't leave an awful lot at the bottom of the barrel. (This is, of course, a male perspective; it must be tiresome for all you poor women having to trawl through thousands of candidates on a daily basis :-)

Over the years, I've had quite a lot of meets (not all of which are recorded here, and besides I also use another site), and I can honestly say that most of them were with women who had modest, unassuming profiles without photos. These are the ones who don't want to have much public exposure for various reasons, but will answer sincerely off-site if approached in a civilized and gentlemanly manner. I never grow tired of that little rush I get when I receive that first photo via private e-mail from one of those women, as it speaks volumes for their willingness to communicate and their eagerness to meet if things turn out right.

GDU and Curvy: From my own perspective I would say that you've both found the ideal level at which to pitch yourselves in terms of profile media. I'm wondering whether, in this internet age where people have to find sexual partners remotely, there's such a thing as a gene that confers accurate self-awareness about your external image, and how much of it to reveal, and whether those that don't have it are doomed to the evolutionary dustbin :-)

OK I'm new to this and perhaps out of place. But the question is 'What do women want to see or hear that will make them wet.' Every woman have a fantasy! Yes, I can do up a profile that sounds great and pose for a phenomenal pic. Does that do it? http:www.theadulthub.comimagesadultemoticons030.gif

Must've been in their element recently ......

There has to be something that draws you to the person. Something that makes you laugh, something that creates a spark. I enjoy being with people that for the time we are together we are set on making each other have a good memorable time.

I agree, attraction, although with some it is a lot stronger, ie gear off now, lets not waste sexy times xx

One other issue that's perhaps worth mentioning is something that I call "sexual capitalism". That is, the more "sexual capital" one has, the greater the returns in terms of responsesdates. For a total newbie on sites like this, it's always difficult getting your foot on the ladder because you're less likely to get noticed amongst all the run-of-the-mills. Of course it's even harder if you're a bloke.

I've been here (and on another site) for a long time, during which I've accumulated a stack of media and experience at all aspects of the game. I don't wish to make this sound conceited at all, but I've found that having "sexual capital" and a "presence" (if you can call it that) on the site acts as a sort of calling-card whenever I write to someone new. By simply referring people to my profile, it's not really necessary to have to jump through hoops, come up with cheesy e-mail schmalz, or write reams of lurid but tiresome "what I'm going to do to you darlin'" blurb. All that's needed is a simple, unsensational and polite intro mail spelling out the basics. Naturally, like most blokes, I get replies only now and then, but I get a sufficient number to keep me ticking over.

I think the bottom line is to adopt a disciplined and systematic approach in presenting oneself here. If a profile is obviously just thrown together, has tasteless and poorly chosen media, and reads as though it was written by a lobotomized chimpanzee, then obviously it will tell people a lot about the person who composed it :-)

2F2C: Yes I suppose the contact process on here is analogous to a job application, with one's profile representing the CV, and mail exchange the "interview". If you think of it in those terms, it would seem common sense to make a decent job of the CV, otherwise you'd never get called for an interview :-)

As you intimate, potential "employers" may be looking for a variety of attributes from "applicants", depending on the nature of the job. I suppose in my case, I'm looking mostly for women on their own, so that reflects my approach, and I'm probably rather rusty about applying for posts with couples :-) I'd have thought that in view of your own stated aims, you might be looking for younger candidates (?), and that your reference to window shopping is perhaps a metaphorical reference to choosiness.

I agree, though, that originality and creativeness can be attractive attributes, and that a slightly off-the-wall teaser or ice-breaker thrown into a profile might elicit some entertaining responses.

"Sexual capitalism". Good point and so very true.

Personally, I have found that in this weird cyber world, I am initially attracted to people who make me smile and then go on to make me laugh; sometimes before I have even read their profile.

Clearly so much more is needed after this, but in the first instance humour does it for me every time.

Magnetic!

Not if it was my feet Ronald.

Basically ...Class!

A profile can be be sassy, sexy, forward, to the point and genuine....but still lack that touch of class that I personally look for in the way someone describes themselves.

Attraction is not just about the physical, but the emotional and sexual self as well. Agreed, there has to be attraction, but sometimes that just isn't how someone looks!

If a profile or message has candour, honesty, sexiness but also a touch of class, then that normally gets my attention!

Studmuffin: Take heart ! I've been here 7 or 8 years and I've got no friends either (lol).

I agree that there has to be some attraction going on , I , for example prefer valuptuis larger ladies , but if I should be so fortunate that a smaller lady wanted to meet I would consider it , deffinitly :), . I have a gsh & like to enjoy life , I suppose that's why we are all on this site , to enjoy ourselves . As far as pics go I think its nice to see a bit of flesh though not always important . I'm always polite in my messages , sometimes funny , its good to go with the flow . I myself have not met anyone yet but still hopeing I will. :)

bazza: If you like voluptuous larger ladies, then you're quids in on this site, mate :-)

2F2C: You've got my mind working overtime about the possible nature of your private media. Lob me over a few examples if I'm allowed :-)

"...you should take a look at our private media sometime."
Happy to take a peek if you're sharing.
(Never one to miss an opportunity to perv at pics).

How about the mask and nothing else?

GDU: Your Paris rationale is anyone's guess (??), but in fact it was taken in the Cally Hotel, Edinburgh. In fact you could see the Castle out of the window, but I upped the exposure to get the present effect, so the outside view was lost.

As you have probably realized, I decided a media revamp was long overdue, if only to prove I'm still active (lol). I opted for the new one because compositionally it's arguably more interesting and shows less of my facial identity. (The previous main pic gave too much away and it was a little scary having it constantly on view.)

Oh right !! Silly me :-)

"more people have viewd my profile in last 5 days than have in last 5 months"

Could this lend some credence to my hypothesis that certain times of the year see an upsurge in sexual interestactivity ?? :-)

Luv2 by her own admission is constantly rampant, so you'd better send her your pics before she spontaneously combusts :-)

As for me, I was curious as to what delights your private media might hold, given your references to originality and thinking out of the box :-)

I'm never disappointed, 2F2C: Only vindicated :-)

Go away on holibobs and come back to all these responses wow!

Good to know that a hole is not just a hole :-)

"Good to know that a hole is not just a hole"

Oh fer heaven's sake, surely you know at least *me* better than that by now :-) The attraction of a hole is largely dependent on the whole :-)

Sorry Skebbie :(

You inspired my latest blog btw ;)

I mean what you wrote inspired my latest blog not you

"I mean what you wrote inspired my latest blog not you"

ha! Well I'm glad we managed to get that clarified :-)

"The shorter the profile the less likely the person is genuine."

Not in my experience. As I mentioned in a post recently, there's not an insignificant number of women (or perhaps men too) who simply get off on the number of men viewing their pics, or who feel empowered at the extent to which men will abase themselves in order to be considered for a shag. Such people (often with many media) have no intention of meeting anyone.

Most of my most memorable meets have been with women who had two lines of text and no pics on their profiles. It's just a question of sniffing them out, and they'll soon open up off-site.

This "sense of humour" thing is definitely an esoteric quality. I'd like to think I have it, but unfortunately my own particular brand tends to be a minority taste (judging from my hate mail :-)

In one of Woody Allen's films he describes how his GF jilted him because he "wasn't funny enough", and went on to say "What did she expect? To go skiing and laugh hysterically all the time she was going downhill?" (or words to that effect).

Most of the women I've met through the internet seemed to respond more to my being sincere, upfront, honest and a little cheeky. I'm afraid that if someone is expecting some sort of Cockney barrow-boy Irish tinker patter, then they're doomed to disappointment :-)

BTW Jasper - good luck with that, mate. It took me about two years here before I got a meet. (Perhaps that says something about my sense of humour :-)

he trouble with the whole "I've got a big cock you know you want it" is that godsamit half the time they do have a big cock and I do want it! Tee hee x mind you would love a woman to write "I've got a big pair of tits you know you want them" and they would be right too! Oh well what a very good debate this made :-) x

rapsUK: I agree with you entirely. The trouble is that whereas most blokes would respond instantly to mails praising their dicks, most women have heard it all before re. their tits :-) Women are a complex breed, and more likely to respond to something that appeals to their "romantic" natures. Otherwise they'd be shagging on daily basis every Tom, Dick (no pun intended) and Harry who thinks they have a nice pair :-)

raps: Oh by the way,I couldn't interest you in my friend Dixon by any chance, could I ? (lol)

"Women are a complex breed, and more likely to respond to something that appeals to their 'romantic' natures."

Complex, yes because we are so flippin' awesome: Romantic ... ?


Skebbie, "... by the way,I couldn't interest you in my friend Dixon by any chance, could I ?"
Is Dixon now getting in touch with his bi side?

Luv2suc - I don't care which side he is getting in touch with - I just wish "Dixon" was within touching distance tee hee xxx

"Is Dixon now getting in touch with his bi side?"

Just being facetious really (I'm such a tease), but after that "bi" blog maybe I felt I was missing out on something :-)

2F2C: Well judging from the number of lady bloggers who drop to the floor twitching orgasmically at the mere sight of a pair of dirty overalls, your correspondents have perhaps stumbled upon an approach that occasionally gets results :-)

"after that "bi" blog maybe I felt I was missing out on something."

I believe you ;-)
I may also add that it was very benevolent of you to volunteer Dixon. I'm sure he appreciated your thoughtfulness.

I should also add:
Dirty overalls ... phwoar!

"Dirty overalls ... phwoar!"

I rest my case :-)

Graham get your coat I think you've pulled!

I think its personal taste ! And ofcaurse that sexual know you feel good with the person you message ! But we dont really know till you meet and let your sexual in stinks take over or not 8-)