Wednesday's whimsical follies

I'm told women love a guy with a huge dick


Well I may not have 12 inches, but it kinda smells like a foot


A flat chested midget asked me to spunk on her boobs in 30 mins time


.i told her sorry but I don't think I can cum on such short no tits


I always think it’s dumb when they say women belong in the kitchen


How is the rest of the house going to get clean?


One time, I was having sex with my wife.


Afterwards, I looked at her thinking she was dead. I tried to poke her to check and she woke up and screamed “I’M NOT DEAD!”.


I told her “But I just saw you with your eyes closed completely shut, an awful smell and no heartbeat”. She then responded “Okay, so what’s your point?”.


Life's like a dick


Most of the time smooth, just hanging loose. Then comes the woman and makes it hard.


1st Lady: While traveling abroad I met a religious man and had sex with him. 2nd Lady: Missionary? 1st Lady: No, doggy style.






A wife’s vagina is a library book.


It was worth looking at the first time you checked it out, but eventually you even stop touching it for a long time.






The lack of workers is affecting everyone. Even the porn industry is having to hire guys with small cocks.


Talk about being “short staffed.”

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