What squirts and then afterwards leaves you tired once are finished playing with it? A garden hose!
What is green, glowing and brings Superman to his knees?
An alien prostitute!
What did the penis say after getting circumcised?
“I’m having an off day!”
A guy goes into a bar at the weekend and sees a sign that reads:
Hamburgers $1:00
Cheeseburgers $2:00
Hand Job $3:00
Taken aback he calls the attractive blonde behind the bar across to enquire.
'Can I help you?' she asked with a big smile.
'I was wondering,' He whispers, 'Are you the one who gives them....ummm...Hand Jobs?'
'Yessssss' she purrs 'I am' Giving him a wink.
'Well wash your hands,' He says 'I want a cheeseburger!!'
I was in Hooters….
I was in Hooters last night and as the gorgeous young waitress leaned over the table with my food, a pair of hairy balls fell out of her knickers.
I said 'Oi, you're not a a girl'
She said ' I know, please don't tell the manager'
I said 'Why not?, will you lose your job?'
She said 'No, we're engaged'
What’s the difference between Iron Man and iron woman?
One is a superhero and one’s a simple command
My wife and I use the pull-out method for birth control...
We pull out our phones and ignore each other all night.
Nonsmoker Dom looking for nonsmoker submissiveslav e within 70 milé radius of Milton Florida.
