Thursday's flights of fancy

Husband: The doctor said I can touch myself whenever I want. Wife: No, he said you could have a stroke at any time.




How does a wiener go camping? In a Wiener-bago.




Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn’t close his casket.




Did you fart? No, that was my butt blowing you a kiss.




Sex on TV can’t hurt… unless you fall off.






I just found an origami porn channel, but it’s paper view only.




What’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?


I don’t have a Ferrari.




Why is masturbation just like procrastination?


Answer: It’s all good until you realize you’re only screwing yourself.

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