despite my... practices... i have very little relationship with pain. I am not a sadist. pain has never aroused me - neither my own, nor the pain of others. at heart i am an hedonist and my only pursuit is pleasure.
it might stretch the truth too far to suggest that i would not hurt a fly - but i would not, i believe, chose to inflict unecessary pain on even such a vile creature. perhaps that makes me a moral man, though i doubt it. it is far more likely that i would simply find no pleasure in the torturous death of a fly.
it is true, however, that (as far as i am aware) i have never knowingly inflicted pain on another human being. I have stung buttocks and soft inner thighs with thousands of strokes, ground pin-wheels aplenty across clit and anus, pinched, bitten, slapped and twised nipples beyond count - but not once, not once, in the pursuit of another's pain. if i have sought to inflict anything - then it is pleasure, pure, uncomplicated, exquisite... pleasure.
they say that there is a fine line between pain and pleasure - but they are wrong. the two sensations are impossible to confuse (for most at least). if a masochist strikes off a nail while hammering they curse as loudly as any of us would. at such moments (the accidental severing of a finger while chopping onions) there is no pleasure to be found, and pain is everything. even for a masochist the context is all - though they might deny it of course.
for the vast majority of us pain (either as we inflict it, or bear it ourselves) is something we visit only to uncover its potential to heighten pleasure. if blended correctly (and this is a genuine skill) then pain becomes an extension of pleasure, and pleasure a blanket laid over pain. if the mix is perfect then even ecstasy becomes a possibility - a condition to transcend the normal limits of our senses.
perfecting the recipe of pleasure is the work of a lifetime - of several lifetimes. uncovering the textures of all the myriad sensations, the multiple layers of flavours is near impossible. what applies to one rarely transfers to another.
Mrs O, for example, i discovered could not endure even the lightest stroke of a crop in the early stages of her arousal. and yet, as she neared orgasm, could not only bear extremely firm strokes on her exposed clitoris but was prone to complain afterwards that i had not struck her hard enough.
M, on the other hand, is barely capable of arousal at all, until her flesh is heavy with welts and her nipples so clamped that they are almost bloodless. paradoxically, at the point of orgasm she will not endure so much as the lightest touch - as she considers such contact to be 'too painful' at such times.
i can't write a great deal today as i am expecting a visitor and need time to consider what pleasures i might inflict - and with what.
it is a while since i blesses her flesh with a pin wheel so i will indulge her with that... at least.
